Beef Gizzards are serious buisness

I'm never one to use my status updates to inform the world where I am located or what I am doing at that location (I'm also notorious for using proper capitalization and punctuation because I'm insane like that). You would never find an exchange like say:

"Eating Dinner."

"Cleaning up after Dinner."

"Thinking about using the bathroom."

"In the bathroom."

"Cleaning my hands after going to the bathroom."

"Thinking about eating dinner again."

Repeat ad naseum

I like to stretch my creative muscles just a teensy tiny bit.

Just a few examples, this was when I was clearly in a political puppy mindset:

As a puppy owner I am pro-tummy rub and staunchly anti-pooping in the house. What can your candidate do for me?

Or a horrible lab pun mixed with grown men who like to dress in short shorts.

My band will be called ACIDIC with such hits as "Highway to high pH" and "Those about to titrate we salute you."

I really have no excuses for this one:

Love means never having to say I have a dead hooker in my trunk.

But this morning I fear I may have finally over topped myself (with cherry on top). Wanting to get into an animal scientist slightly meta-ironic mood I posted this little gem about cooking.

The French secret to perfecting any dish is the addition of one special ingredient: Beef Gizzards.

Only I fear a few of my friends didn't quite get the joke. There was a lot of "Wait I don't get it. Only birds have gizzards."A few had to set me straight, thinking I was serious about my French Cooking tip.

And now I'm not sure, do I say that I was just kidding and ruin the joke or do I let them keep thinking I'm a complete dumb ass?

So FYI I guess, if I say something in 140 characters or less take it with a big boulder of salt. More than likely I'm just being my usual smart ass. Maybe I should knit up a little icon like ™ so people could know when I'm kidding.

I know, whenever I say something crazy like "Bigfoot is working at my local Denny's" I'll end it with ^jk. Should work just perfect right?

But, seriously, you have to try my beef gizzards. They're just perfect with a nice slice of pasteurized head cheese.

Picture a Day - Day 271

We brought the little one home. Got her onto a livable feeding and pooping schedule (we're down to once a night if a small child wears her out beyond belief).

Had our first doctor visit. Broke in all the new toys. Have Daddy wrapped around our little paw. Yep, that just leaves one thing left.

Puppy Shower!I actually tried my hand at making a diaper cake only instead of diapers it's formed out of puppy pads.

Um, yeah . . . Someone must have a class on these things somewhere because I was just guessing the entire time. I tried rolling the things up making two layers but it looked a little blah (and more like someone made a cake by smashing together a bunch of albino twinkies). Then I thought, oh I'll use some fabric to simulate the frosting layer. I had some great stuff stashed away in the closet that was left over from the pillow my MIL made for the wedding (which I am sad to say, my sister took off with. I really hoped to keep them. Oh well).

Then, well, as you can see something happened with the ribbon, there were a few tears, some screaming and that Puppy Pad cake came out.

At least the party favors were a bit easier. Nothing too over the top, just a bandanna, a bone and some treats all wrapped up inside a water bowl.

I also made some puppy chow. Which leads to a universal quandary. It's called puppy chow; yet, one of the main ingredients is chocolate which can kill a dog if ingested. So was someone just being evily ironic in naming it?

Otherwise the rest of the party festivities involved the puppies having a chance to get to know and chase each other around the backyard:This was Essie's first big chance to get to meet dogs much bigger than her that weren't her mother. She wasn't so sure at first, trying to stay out from under his big feet.

But pretty soon her inner boss shown through and she was chasing after Toby, his tail tucked between his legs as he bolted away from her for his daddies arms.Just when she got a good hold on Toby, my friend (who's also Essies Vet) showed up with her big Mastiff/Lab mix who's really a big puppy too (and at 8 months isn't so aware of his brute strength).Once all the guests were there it was time to peel around the backyard like mad men:They were having so much fun they didn't notice when they accidentally tripped up a four year old.As you can tell from the replay screen, it's obvious that Essie cut across the front while Toby attacked from the side. The call on the field stands. Repeat Second Down.

It was a great opportunity to get all my old college buddies together again and get a little socializing for Essie outside of my husband and I and our battered and bruised fingers.

Everyone had a great time watching the Meeting of the Big Black Dog Society commence as they welcomed a new member and all the bigger dogs got to check out a whole new yard and test its poop holding capacity (we passed, apparently).We'll have to do another Puppy Shower the next time someone else gets another little, or even a great big one. (By the way, if anyone out there with mad photoshop skills, I'd love it if that picture above had the sun glare removed. No idea if it's possible but I love all the candid expressions on everyone's face but sadly the sun did his best to ruin the picture. You may even get a free tree out of the deal.)

Has anyone else ever hosted a Doggie Play Date? What is the secret to making the awesome diaper cakes I see in all the Baby Shower pictures? I simply must probe it to understand the full possibilities or forming cake out of something inedible.

What are your secrets to getting a pet socialized?

Picture a Day - Day 270

Our little girl is such a people lover. As soon as she meets someone her tail goes athumping. She also loves to curl up in my husband's lap and gnaw on his fingers a little bit.

We're already growing like a weed.

Picture a Day - Day 269

Summer! Get out here!

I fear he may be having a bit of a diva moment just because he has to spend most of his stage time with Rain this year. But really, it's not even the end of August and he's already locked himself in his dressing room refusing to come out.

Really, come on. You still have your big Labor Day Number, then you can take your bows and a nice trip to the Bahama's.

Your public is going to be incredibly upset if Autumn has to fill in for you again this year.

Well, since you don't want to cooperate I'm just going to burn my mulled cider and vanilla pumpkin candles to put us all in a fall mood and pretend it's already the middle of September.
After all, it isn't like we really prefer Summer to Fall here anyway.

The Radio

Once upon a workday dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of scientific lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my speaker floor.
"'Tis the radio," I muttered, "tapping at my speaker floor -
Only this, and nothing more."

Open here I clicked the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there popped a stately window of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made it; not a minute stopped or stayed;
But, with mien of lord or lady, demanded that I pay more -
Demanded a dollar for the music of saved hope -
Demanded, silenced, that I pay more.

"Be that popup our sign in parting, Pandora or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting -
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the silence from my speaker!
Take thy diode from out my heart, and take thy form from off my computer!"
Quoth the Radio, "Just Pay More."

And the Radio, never changing, still is sitting, still is sitting
Denying any music o'er the Pandora on my computer;
And its eyes have all the seeming of an accountant's that is dreaming,
And the dsl o'er it streaming throws its unearthly threat on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

*Sorry Mr. Poe and any fans. Just something I thought of as I sit here staring as my 40 hours apperate into the air. If anyone doesn't understand just go here and all will make sense.

Picture a Day - Day 268

Bugs.
When we left our apartment next to a giant open field we really thought we'd left behind some of our old friends. The huge crickets who don't stop begging to get a little something on the side. The hordes of gnats and flies buzzing around because you dared to open the door.

There was even one time when my husband opened the door and a dragon fly zipped right into the place, just missing my head.

But the biggest insect group we thought we were leaving behind were the big spiders that hunted around the place. We generally gave them their own space, letting them attack and kill all the flies to their little hearts content. They didn't make a big mess of webs and kept the fly population to a nice minimum.

A little misty eyed to say goodbye to the walking fly traps, we packed up and headed for what we thought would be a more bug free zone.

Oh how wrong we were.

Already there was the wasp attack a month ago. I'm still a little edgy and have a habit of smashing a stack of moose on anything I see that even vaguely resembles a wasp (no really, we have a little garden moose that I broke killing a wasp. I'm not insane).

And now that we have an inquisitive puppy a new problem has sprung up. In the backyard hanging out on our decks are three orb weavers about the size of marbles. Over night these guys will build huge intricate webs to try and catch their prey, and also us as we stumble outside to encourage our little girl to go "piddle."

Last night, I thought I'd try to discourage them by breaking down all their webs. First there was one that stretched from our deck clear across the cement patio to the tree (A good 5 feet, easily). I picked up a stick and slowly broke all the threads on the deck, leaving the spider dangling from the tree branch as its spinnerets sucked all the broken web back in.

Then I moved to the second web, rather intricate and also quite large with the fat spider residing in the middle. Trusty stick in hand I batted away at the threads on the bottom and as I was winding up to attack the top, my husband began to climb the stairs.

I miscalculated a bit and caught the spider on the end of the stick, swinging it towards my husband. He hit the deck, literally, his feet slipping as he tried to duck to avoid the spider. Luckily Mr. Orb Weaver was still on the end of my stick.

We've had these guys building webs every night for a few weeks, and destroying their webs just doesn't discourage them from trying once again.

What do you do to get spiders to stop building webs in a certain area? Is there some sort of spider relocation project I could look into? Preferably something far away from a common, puppy could eat it area.

Picture a Day - Day 267

Our little girl's lead a pretty sheltered life so far. She's been on a few walks but only seen a couple of other dogs and met some people in our home. Otherwise, it's just been my husband and I in her life.

That all changed yesterday when she had her first doctor's appointment.

The visit went really well. I'm lucky in that my old college roommate is a local vet, and an awesome person all around, so both I and my hubby felt relaxed around her. Essie just tried to lick her nose to death, which she does with everyone she likes.

Our puppy did quite well, there was a big scary looking basset hound (which was actually just a big ol' basset who sat in the corner panting but with puppy vision he was rather scary) which Ess wasn't sure about at first.

There was a brief sniffing when the tails were at half mast, but she quickly got her wag back on. She isn't so sure about other dogs, but oh how she loves other people. Receptionists, vet techs, someone who walks by. They're all awesome in her mind.

She got another vaccine (which didn't phase her one bit, after the ouchie she was right back to licking extermities) and a microchip. That was a bit scarier as it's a really big needle where they insert the chip under her skin so she can be traced if lost.

To help with all the mean people things she got lots of awesome doggie treats after every ouchie.I should back up a bit though in this tale.

In the morning it was raining cats, dogs, horses and some turtles. Lakes sprung up overnight. Noah started a life preserver business on eBay.

And because it was so bad and wasn't going to let up for a while we decided to keep our little girl inside in her crate. I knew she was going to make a mess, but I never thought it'd be that bad.

She pulled the tricky step in poop once and somehow coat everything up to and including herself in it move. We didn't really have time to clean out the crate, her bowls, the toys, and her before leaving for the vet appointment.

So everyone got to meet our puppy with a poop smeared ear.

I had to be careful in cleaning off her toys too, as the duck that made noise was covered from tuft to webbed toes. He couldn't go in the wash so I pulled out my Dawn and reenacted their latest ad campaign only replacing oil for poop and duckling for chewed puppy toy.
She came out smelling like roses after her bath, okay actually peach mango, and her coat is so shiny and soft. It's eerie how much she looks like her mother, they even both do this weird lip curl thing. It isn't a sign they're mad or scared, just something they do randomly when eating or playing.

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop really. We've had some separation anxiety and had quite a few accidents in the house but so far she's been a model puppy.

This can't be right. I'm beginning to think she was switched at birth or something.

That was weird

Back in college, I had this crazy idea to start a sort of writing/humor website with a good friend of mine. We called it Breaking Set and I had essays, reviews, clip art cartoon's about a town where nothing is to scale, puzzles with funny pictures and poems.

I am no poet, never totally got poetry and just dabbled to try and make a quick joke nothing serious at all. Today I got an e-mail asking me if some publication could print one of those old poems "Ode to My Computer."

First it's a shock that anyone even found it, this website is a good 8 years old. Second, it is so not one of my strong poems (out of a bunch of nerdlings to begin with). Not by a long shot.

Ode to My Computer

My magical gray box;
That sits by the window;
It brings me new information;
Unless my memory is low.

I diligently watch over;
My translucent motherboard;
Keeping out dangerous viruses;
So it does not overload.

Oh look a little message;
It is marked 'I love you'
It will not hurt to have a look.
My hard drive has gone askew!

My files are all locked!
A Skull and cross bones haunts my screen!
Sparks are shooting out of;
Where my head phones plug-in!

Why have you betrayed me,
My loving computer?
I cared for you and kept you clean;
Heck, I even kept you out of water.

Fine you want to be this way,
I have an answer to your villainy so low.
You want to stop listening to me;
Then you go through the window.

I much prefer the poem that comes after this one:

TV troubles

Bought a new TV
Installed it myself

It wouldn’t turn on
All the buttons did flash

So I boxed it back up
Sent it back to the store

Installed this new TV
With help from my neighbor

My picture did twitch
No signals were executed

This TV was so messed up
I touched the screen and was electrocuted

Turns out he did not know
What the hell to do

So while he was sleeping
I took his hand and drove in a screw

There are also poems devoted to rain, time, shopping, the moon and the sky:

Death of Winter

Fluffy white clouds
And a yellow sun
Are not allowed
Nice days are done
For winter is coming

The sun is blotted out
The sky is gone
It is time to pout
Put down that croissant
Winter is here

The clouds are clearing
Out comes the sun
My skin is warming
Spring has come
I liked it better when I could complain.

The Faerie Dance

The Elysian Fields
Where the faeries dance
Prance and Sing

I did stumble upon
On a Bright
And Blissful Day

Warmly was I
Welcomed among
My Winged friends

But suddenly
The little bastard
Did bite me

So with my mower
I sent those faeries
Straight to hell!

That last one got me a lot of spammer attention when I put it on poetry.com. Methinks the spammers never read it to the end and really don't want it in their nice book of giant poems.

It's such a wild blast from the past reading the things I came up with while waiting at the bus stop. I really should save all those up before yahoo yanks geocities tubes.

I'm not even going to pretend that any of it is good, but if you're curious what I got up to back when I was a fresh faced freshmen, here's the link to Breaking Set.

Have you ever had something you created years back suddenly thrust back into the spotlight when you least expect it?

Picture a Day - Day 266

While I'm outside messing around with the grill my husband is inside creating amazing side dishes, his invisible toque slightly askew.

One of his famous dishes is the saffron/balti rice we have with every Indian dish I attempt (and fail miserably at. More chickens have caught on fire than I care to mention):

He starts with a can of coconut milk. This gives it a nice creamy texture that's a nice and quick fake risotto.To the slowly boiling coconut milk, he adds a dash of garlic powder, some ginger, a bit of salt, the Indian spices of balti and fenugreek to taste and finally turmeric to give it a nice radioactive yellow color.
That's all mixed up and then the minute rice is dumped in and allowed to suck up all the juices. Good time to chase after the puppy and get her to stop ripping the stuffing out of her squirrel.

Forgive the crappy picture, someone was demanding attention. But in the end it's a really nice and flavorful rice pilaf sort of thing.
It's the most flavor I've ever had in rice and a lot of it is thanks to the coconut milk trick my husband stumbled upon.

Round of applause (every time I see that word I think it's actually applesauce, go fig) for cool husband ideas.

Oh and just because here's what our little girl was snacking on at the time:She has a lot of toys that are either small woodland creatures or food. Not sure what to make of that, but it's kinda funny.

Hallo-what the hell?

All of you who don't follow me on twitter missed quite a show this morning.

As I always do when school's back in session my mind turns away from hot days sipping lemonade by a pool and begins my mad search to find anything perfect for Halloween.

While usually a fun ride I always find a few things a little out there. Something that you just can't wrap your mind around. But oh how I never expected to hit quite the jackpot I did when I looked through the infant/toddler costumes.

Here for your enjoyment is the unedited version of what went down on my twit feed.

Kids, this is what happens when you eat an entire bag of skittles in one sitting:There are no words. Aside from, Holy crap what is that on his head?!

This is the kid Schwarzenegger should have had pop out in a Junior/Conan crossover:Kill it! Kill it with fire!
What did I do to deserve this? Was it the time I ripped my diaper apart and ate crayons? How many times can I apologize?
Boy is this kid in for a serious pantsing and purple nurple when he grows upAnyone want to induce night terrors in their children for life? Just put this in their bed and wait for the screams.
Yep, that ought to do it.

See all the fun things you miss when you don't follow me (please note, you don't really miss much I just like to be facetious sometimes.)

Picture a Day - Day 265

It's just 100 days before this crazy picture a day project is over! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm 92% positive it's just a couple of kids on bicycles wearing spelunker helmets.

As I would assume all community colleges across the nation do every semester we get a new "Adult" continuing education classes booklet to show off all the cool courses one could take for non credit. Like, for example, a chance to finally learn how to make polymer beads or refurbish old furniture or the always sold out how to build a Death Star in under a year but get taken down by teddy bears with slingshots.

I like to flip through just to see if anything strikes my fancy (like the Halloween prop building class we signed up for way back when my life was dull -- a puppy and new house will fix any dull lives right up). The computer section is always laughably bad, beginners course generally includes how to turn on the computer, how to make a new folder and how to open up a program. Anything past that is considered intermediate.

Even knowing that I did a double take when I saw this class being advertised.Why? Why must you torment us who actually have been on facebook since it was designed around college students? (Remember when you could add your classes and find other people who shared class and get notes and that was the whole point? Yeah me neither). The last thing any of us wants to do is have our grandmother logging onto facebook and writing on our wall everyday "Hi Julie, this is Nana. You must have a better picture that shows off your beautiful face. I see you're still listed as single. You know Mrs. Mooney has a lovely grandson, he still lives in her basement and works at the local gas station. You should really give him a call. Love Nana."

And can anyone believe they're actually charging $15 a pop to show someone how to upload a picture, type some info and then warn them with a flaming log away from ever using a single application?

I need to get in on this. Only for the low price of $10 I will teach Twitter for Old Farts.

The class will begin with me waxing about the amazing powers of twitter and all you can accomplish if you know the right connections and have billions of followers you want to reach. Knowing that they'll never have that kind of influence unless a piano playing cat is involved.

Then I'll finally, after much hand holding, get everyone an account and teach them how to leave 140 character messages.

Next class will begin and end with us arguing over why it can only be 140 characters (note, you shall have to take my $100 Twitter class to learn Twit shorthand) and how one cannot get those cute little smiley faces on there no matter how hard they type :D.

Finally, last day of class each student will put up a tweet, follow each other (and for a dose of celebrity see if I can find Matlock to follow) so they can then read everyone elses tweets about being in a Twitter class and then RT those tweets of their classmates.

Then I shall Rule the World!

Or at least drive anyone who's related to Nana completely insane with all her Tweets about how to get the facebook to upload a picture.

You're welcome world.

Picture a Day - Day 264

Raise your hand for everyone who's getting a little tired of all the posts about the puppy?

Damn, that many of you? You're that emphatic about no more adorable puppy pictures? You can't take it anymore and are about to go on a neutering spree (Barker, get out of here!)?

Well, um, see the thing is that well . . . uh. . .

So our lives basically revolve around puppy teeth, claws and bladders. We even put off mowing the lawn or vacuuming for a week til she was a bit more well adjusted and we wouldn't have to worry about a giant pee spot followed by a sudden cat like freak out of ripping the curtains to shreds.

Instead she ran and hid between my husbands legs til I promised to shut the giant scary noise machine off before it sucked up all that squirrel fuzz she worked so desperately to decorate our floors with.It's a tricky business figuring out just when we can actually get something accomplished and when we have to give up and play wrestle with her for a while. While I was finally able to tackle cleaning the kitchen floors and start laundry she wasn't too happy with me having to get up and move every time I went into another room.

We save the more delicate work for when she's passed out:I know, I have this nice painting room all set up and now I do most (aka all) of my trees in the living room while she sleeps with some part of her body on my foot. It's her security system to make sure we won't suddenly bolt for the nearest kennel and bring home a better puppy.

We finally got out and purchased the latest Ghostbusters game as well as downloaded the Batman demo (really weird hearing those familiar voices coming from those extreme bodies --Bat's has been through the wood chipper a few times-- and since we're revisiting the old Animated Series right now it's doubly strange). About the only time we feel safe playing is when Essie is puppy napping on the floor in front of us.
It was kinda funny, my mother-in-law who hasn't taken care of a pet a day in her life kept asking us if it was normal for a puppy to sleep that much. She was really worried she was sick or something.

And I kept pointing out that puppies are just like babies, they play really hard and then crash just as hard. I don't think she quite wants to accept the similarities, even though my husband and I no longer hae a social life anymore. Sadly, give it a month and these nice long naps will be a thing of the past.

So for now we're going to take every opportunity we have and when those little eyelids shut we're off doing all of our non-puppy friendly tasks:I've already scared off at least 2 people with all this puppy talk. Is anyone else really going to abandon me because of all the cute pictures of a puppy as she navigates a new home?

I can't promise there won't be any more pictures of Essie (after all she's only this small for about an hour, hour and a half tops) but I promise I have some more not puppy posts planned. Maybe even a few more recipes as the cold weather comes crying back, begging to not to have to go back to school.

Another 100 days or so and I'll have accomplished this wacky task, so won't you stick around and see just what I have planned for the end?

Picture a Day - Day 263

Puppies need lots of stimulation so their brain can develop and they can think of even better and faster ways to rip your house to shreds.
Toys seem to work the best and while our little girl has tons of fun squeaky and soft toys she's slowly destroying, yesterday we got her a couple of awesome new fancy ones.

The first is a duck that makes a very loud kinda duck sound that the more you hear it the more it sounds like the dying laugh of a clown every time it moves. And I mean every time. The thing went off about 30 times in the store.

The other is a hedgehog with a touch of ADD. It's a "under strict supervision" toy, but it's so funny to watch her play with it.

Check out the video below to see what I mean.

Adorable right? And she's already figured out to stop chewing when it gets turned off and wait for one of us to start it up again.

Heaven help us, we got ourselves one smart puppy.

Picture a Day - Day 262

By far the best part of finally settling in your new place is the knowledge that you're not going to have move giant pieces of furniture up a tiny stair case for a few more years.

Sadly we were not able to sip from that sweet nectar, indulge in that manna from heaven (what does manna taste like anyway? I always picture a sort of bland saltine myself) until last night.

Around 5 my In-Laws showed up with a giant truck stuffed full of my husband's old room, which we slowly and back breakingly over time transferred to our guest bedroom.Hurray, we have a guest bedroom. Now when people stay over they won't have to sleep on the floor under our old flower box or possibly in the bathroom (our old apartment bathroom was easily the size of my new creative land and suited a 4 year old just fine).

Oh but the dressers and bed were by far the easiest to cart up our wild and wacky stair case. The impossible load was this monster, a hutch my husband's grandfather used to own.
It's solid oak so it was kinda like moving a giant tree with no good handle and no lumber jacks in sight.

Kinda funny too how in their family everyone sort of bows to his dad to figure out the best way to handle spatial relations but I was arguing with him on how to get things in and out. And I won for the most part.

So take that stupid statisticians who are so sure girls suck at things like how to shove shit into boxes so it fits. Ever take a look at a woman's closet? Yeah, didn't think so.

Oh yeah, that wasn't all. Apparently on top of getting all the furniture out of my husbands old bedroom his mother also packed up all his stuff. Every single last bit of my pack rat husband's crap including a very giant and old stereo we never wanted or can really use.
Apparently there are already plans to turn his room into a sewing room.

Was anyone else pretty much removed carte blanche from their parents home once they were married and had a big enough place to store their crap?

How do you see me?

Apparently MIT doesn't have anything all that important to get to, so they have created a program that will allow you to enter a name into a program which then determines how the internet views you.

It's called Personas and I tried playing with it a bit before realizing just how woefully boring my official real name presence is across the web (and the fact that I am the only person throughout history to have either my full original maiden or new married name doesn't help things).

So instead I wanted to see what the web thinks of my assumed persona:Click on the image to see it bigger, but apparently I am really big into family, social and illegal activities. I have no idea what those illegal activities are unless the feds just found my panda petting zoo in the basement!

I don't quite get the online part either, isn't the whole point to search what's on the web. So it's all on-line then, right?

For curiosities sake I also put in my previous nom de plume and came up with this:I was just a little illegal when I was a Bride, but once the rock was on I turned Bonnie & Clyde taking down banks across the Midwest.

No idea where the fashion, sports or military comes from either. Did I do a post about the newest fashion trends for military schools football teams and just blank on it.

Is it also kinda sad that my fame block is the exact same size as my management? That may explain why I have a bad habit of abandoning ideas (oldfriend/newfind, etsy of the week, zombies in classic lit) in favor of shiny things.

On this dull Friday afternoon as everyone else is off preparing for college to commence on Monday, give the old Personas a little run around the block. I'm curious what it comes up with for other people so please share.

Picture a Day - Day 261

Every day this week has been a learning experience with our little girl. Just how long can she hold her bladder (answer: not very long) how interesting are sticks and weed (answer:more important than food) what do we think of baths (answer: not our cup of tea) and other fun little factoids like that.

Last night was our first, "we're so sorry we're going to put you back in your pen but see we have something we've had tickets to for over a month but you'll be okay we promise."

See, we had to exercise our nerdy love to laugh at inside references and bad movies side and the good people at Rifftrax were more than happy to oblige us with their first ever Rifftrax live event.

For those who aren't old MSTies, basically the gist is three guys get together (or on the old show one guy and two robots) and make fun of bad movies (or in the case of rifftrax really bad seriously overblown blockbusters) only they're really funny and good at it. Cult classic, yada yada.

I've been a MSTie since their Sci-Fi days when I dared to deny my parents by watching that "weird show." I actually introduced my husband to it, he used to have some strange idea that it just some evil plot to make you watch bad movies (which may have backfired as now he loves bad movies and may have a small crush on Steve Reeves).

For our honeymoon, we had the chance to catch Cinematic Titanic in Saint Paul (which was a happy accident as we'd already been planning on going to Minnesota for our honeymoon cause we're weird and I like a lot of lakes. Got to be at least 10,000 to make me happy.) which is the rest of the original MST3K cast.

Okay that's enough background on me, now onto the show.At a theatre in Nashville the Rifftrax crew camped out, stretching and flexing their humerus bones to beam across the United States their version of the dreaded Ed Wood movie Plan 9 From Outer space.

It's a cool idea, really. They get the thrill of a live show and an audience while at the same time millions (I hope it was millions at least, judging by how packed our smaller town theatre was I'm guessing I'm right) could listen in at their own local theatres).

They started the night off with fun trivia facts and quirky ideas (which I am sad to say I knew most of).
Then the lights in our theatre refused to dim (it was about half way through the short that they finally went down) and it was time for the show to start.

One Mr. Mitch Nelson, Mr. Kenneth Murphy and a Mr. Bill Chablis flew onto stage hoovering like a set of hummingbird triplets hoping to find a warehouse full of nectar.
After someone tossed them a bag of sugar they calmed down and the show kicked off.
They started with a short about stewardess's and how one must learn the best procedure for forcing air line food down a passenger's gullet, freaking them out by knowing their name and then preparing a bed while making sure everyone brushes their teeth.

This was the only place where our theatre had a few burps. Three times the signal kicked out but came back after a few seconds so we probably only missed about 10 jokes or so in those 6 seconds. Which isn't going to stop me for seeking legal action, I demand you compensate me for those 6 seconds!

When the short was finished we got some music stylings from Jonathan Coulton and a lovely interpretive zombie dance from Kevin Murphy. Kevin should really work into getting onto So You Think You can Dance with the Monster Movie Stars, the latest reality show on Lifetime.

It was wall to wall laughs in my neck of the woods for Plan 9 (as I'm sure how Ed Wood always secretly wanted it. I have a theory that in Nostradamus like quatrains Wood predicted MST3K and knew he would have to make his opus of movies to give birth to the "making fun of bad movies" genre).

I'm sure I join the chorus of millions chanting "More! More! More!"

Though if it isn't too early in the morning for you guys as you wake up from your hangovers may I make a few suggestions. Tradition dictates that a dinner generally go with a movie, so perhaps the next time Mike and Kevin could create a delectable 5 course dinner which Bill then delivers Stewardess style to the waiting and hungry audience.

You could even offer a digital copy of all the recipes (thumbtack and crayon sandwiches included).

And if anyone who isn't a fan is still reading, you really got to check it out. Sure it's a bit of a nerd fest but it's also a great and cheap hilarious chance to enjoy the energy of a live event without leaving the comfort of your local theatre.

The best part, when we got home our puppy even forgave us for leaving her alone again. So she gives you a rounding series of happy puppy licks as a thank you.

Etsy Find of the Week - Kermit Biggs Design

This weeks Etsy find comes to us courtesy of Kermit Biggs Design (this is my way of pretending that I didn't abandon this project a month ago and am just getting back to it).

Who doesn't love a little bit of art in an unexpected place? Kleenex and Febreeze are banking on it (still waiting for a Vera Wang air freshener and facial tissue box duo). But how about a piece of art that is also actually useful while you look at it (as opposed to something your dog chews on).

Check out these cool glass cutting boards.It is a little pricey at $38 a pop, but I love the retro bamboo feel for this green one.
Or for any other blue lovers out there like myself, how about a sky impression you can stare at while slicing up oranges (note staring at pretty cutting board while chopping up produce could lead to a trip to the emergency room, stare at your discretion).
Looking for something different and neat while you slave away in the kitchen (or just microwave up some Ramen), check out Kermit Biggs Design.

Picture a Day - Day 260

Small Black Lab Female looking for a new playmate. Looking for someone to share my love of chewing on toys/fingers/anything in my line of sight. Will surgically attach myself under your legs to make sure you can never leave me up to and including the trips you take to the bathroom to do whatever it is you do and anytime you vanish into the laundry room out of my line of sight causing me to break into cries.My hobbies include an interest in photography and cameras. Specifically the little fabric loop that's supposed to act like a handle. Everytime someone tries to take my picture I dash at the camera trying to bite it:I would love a chance to have deep conversations over dinner, especially as I dig my catlike claws into your leg trying to get a glimpse of that tasty food you're consuming.If interested please contact Essie at the big gray house. I'm the puppy you can hear whining and crying from down the block because my owners once again left me for 8 hours a day while they're off doing fun things without their cute puppy.

No smokers or cats.