Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Death defrosted on medium power

Bring out yer dead! *bang*

Bring out yer dead! *bang*

Bring out yer, hold on a second. She's still alive.

Oh yeah but with this cold I say give it a few days or so and she'll be a complete goner. Can't have her stinking up the place or nothing.

Fine, toss her onto the cart. Bring out yer Dead!

I employ a touch of hyperbole (but just a touch I swear, I wouldn't want the soup to be so hyperbolic you can't eat it. I'm not even sure if it could stay in the bowl in retrospect) but my husband and I have been battling a not nice, very mean cold virus.

He brought the evil sucker home last week so I spent a bit of time taking care of him and keeping the puppy out of his hair (my husband brings me rhinoviruses, I know you're all so jealous).

Then, as nature dictates, once this week rolled around I found myself curled up on the couch suffering from a nasty case of pain throat. I don't just get a scratchy or sore throat, no all my colds are characterized by debilitating pain all up and down my throat so I spend my hours sucking on cough drops, signaling what it is I need as I become dumb and contemplating just what I can liquefy and still have it considered food.

It is a bit interesting that while I have always gotten sore throats when I get sick my husband doesn't really suffer from them much. Instead he gets ear aches, which he hates with a fiery passion much as I do burning throat pain.

There ya go, that's pretty much what I've been up to for the past week or so. Being sick, oh and camping out on the couch finding just about every permutation of an ending to Dragon Age (I'm a Queen now on top of sacrificing myself and just putting Anora on the throne).

So, I guess that's about it. Nothing much to report or say.

Oh wait, I do have one thing. A new painting I finished a while back. Actually it'd been sitting in various states of doneness for weeks but I finally got enough gumption to finish the bad boy:

It's actually an 18X24, so a nice big one. And because it wasn't as time consuming as most of my other giant paintings are I'm only charging $55 for it instead of what I'd usually for an 18X24 (of which I have no idea but it'd be more than that I know).

There ya go. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more rhinovirus carcasses to pick up.

Bring out yer dead!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Monday Demon Warriors

Allow me to welcome each and every one of you to our Quest to destroy the Evils that haunt Monday Land.

Once a week we all band together, strap on our weapon bedazzled avatars and wade deep into the trenches to defeat all those Monday Horrors that keep us from a wonderful start to the week.

Anyone is welcome to join at anytime. We could always use another warrior, mage, rogue or someone who serves delicious snack cakes at the bar. (This is also an attempt at bringing together twitter and blogger in what could either be a colossal failure or an awesomeness that blinds the very fabric of space, or something like that.)

I shall get things started by posting the basics of the quest and what is required; then, throughout the day the band of merry Monday Demon Warriors will chime in with either tweets or comments to guide the quest along.

I will copy and paste those comments/tweets into this blog post which will get bigger and more menacing throughout the day til I decide it's finally time to reveal the big bad boss fight. Anyone at anytime can play, put in a few little comments or follow this thing through to the end. It's entirely up to you.

So let us get started, shall we?


Hello #MDW your boss and quest master here. We've got quite a doozy ahead of us today.

Apparently no one's heard anything from the land of Nod for going on 5 months now (we should really build a better message system than just pasting a letter to a pig and seeing where it winds up) and it's up to us to venture forth and see what has happened to the soporific villagers.

We've been granted a nice map of our fair lands that covers some of the famous land marks and wacky characters that make up MondayLand.

I'd suggest checking out the map, getting a good sense of where we should head first (hint hint, big black lines I already drew) and then sending out a small party to scout ahead.

Or if you have any other questions, comments, or lewd songs leave a message after the beep.

Feel free to click on the map to see a much larger version (soak in all the lovely details).

To Slumber Mountain and the land of Nod!

*update 1:50 PM*


HellenaHeavenly NOW.....sneak..........................






stepharooni @HellenaHeavenly Good, I hate licorice 

@HellenaHeavenly Can I swat at a couple just for giggles?


HellenaHeavenly @stepharooni Swat at one of the bats? yes...but make sure PETA isn't watching


stepharooni @HellenaHeavenly Aw, damn. *looks around* Hrmph! *swats at a bat*

@HellenaHeavenly You have spells against being tar and feathered?


HellenaHeavenly @stepharooni Fire can turn the tar bubbling hot and make it burst all over them *ffffffoooom*


stepharooni @HellenaHeavenly Oh fun! I just hope PETA doesn't tar me. :o

HellenaHeavenly @rebisAZ WHA!!!! Lord Licorice infiltration on hold.....setting targets for your bosses. They get fricassed 

HellenaHeavenly @stepharooni PETA would try, but I shant let them


stepharooni @HellenaHeavenly @rebisAZ YES, but not before I HACK them into a bajillion pieces!

HellenaHeavenly @stepharooni @rebisAZ Ok...you hck them up and I shall turn the pieces to dust

HellenaHeavenly *spews fireballs alternately out of both left and right hands while listening to the 1812 overture*

HellenaHeavenly @beautifulmind1 No worries dear @introvertedwife is unwell anyways and I have school shortly *fireballs school* 

FatherWizard Who needs some healing ? The Wizard is in the house !

Everyone look out! They've unleashed a horde of whatever the hell this thing is! 



Wednesday, January 20, 2010

More games like this, please!

My first video game experience was limited to a few of those old Tiger hand held toys (I think there was a 6 bit black and white tank that didn't move and picked up keys) and of course Tetris.

We had a Super Nintendo growing up so I knew well the amazing powers of time loss that Mario held especially with his little raccoon tail and warp whistles (I also learned that there are a lot of really bad games out there too. We had Where's Waldo, possibly the worst concept for a game ever. You look for a small stripped man in a sea of stripped white men and wait for the clock to run out because there's no way you can make him out on your TV).

Then I put down the consoles and didn't go back for a long time. Some of it was my horrible luck with cliffs. If there was a cliff, hill or slight rise I'd fall off it somehow and die. But the more I look back the more I'm beginning to wonder how much of it was also the constant media pressure that girls are just no good at games. It seemed to be blasted from every cliff as I grew.

Fast forward a few years or so to my Junior year in College and I'm playing the Return of the King game with a fellow floormate at first dying an awful lot as I try to wrap my mind around the controls (last I knew there was just A and B, what's with all these other buttons and knobs). But it's different this time, sure I die a few times but I'm also swinging that Dwarven axe like nobodies business cutting up Orcs.

Something was rekindled inside of me. And not just a love of cutting demons off at the knees (though that's always a great way to relieve stress). The thrill of solving puzzles, or navigating a tricky situation or just getting your character to a certain level to unlock the super cool skill.

For our wedding I'd registered a few video games including the PS2 version of God of War and we got it as a supposed gift for my husband. Yet it was I who chopped off the Hydra's heads, saved the Oracle and killed Ares.

I give this long dull backstory because I want to talk about a recent game I got my husband for Christmas that you may have seen kicking around here and there: Dragon Age Origins.

At first commerical it just looks like a typical hack and slash world where all the women are lust demons and archers and the men big brutes who will either kill you or sleep with you. But I learned a long time ago to never trust a commercial, especially from EA.

The real story of Dragon Age revolves around a blight upon the land. Darkspawn (aka this version of Orcs) have been unleashed and are invading and the only ones who can stop them are the last two remaining Grey Wardens in the land.

It's a rich history and story you have to pay close attention to to understand and catch all the complexities and motivations of the various characters. And if you're looking for a good RPG game with a nice balance of character manipulation but not super overkill (the way Oblivion could get sometimes) then you can probably stop reading right . . . about .  . now!

I generally keep most video game finds to myself or a few choice comments I reply to, but this is different because this is one of those rare games that it isn't just fun to play, it's wonderful to play as a woman.

There are three female characters you pick up in your party throughout the game and almost none of the RPG stereotypes in play. I don't want to give away too much of the plot but they each are governed not by their chromosomes and womanliness but by their own motivations and needs (which you slowly learn over time).

And probably most surprising of all, the main male character you learn is actually a virgin which isn't really played for laughs (well unless you want to piss him off). But he isn't supposed to be a basement dwelling nerdling type either, he's a warrior and possible future king instead.

Approval is another interesting aspect of the game. You have conversations with all the characters and from that not only do you learn more of the plot but you can also get them to like you more. But it can be quite the mindfield (pun intended) in someways. Where one would like a joke at one time he's all serious another time, or one would just like a few words and nothing more or would just like you to kill all birds.

I haven't even gotten into the six different beginning stories for your character either. There are three races, the humans, the elves and the dwarves and I'd have to say it's a toss up between the dwarves and the elves which has the more interesting (or there's the mages).

The dwarves are a caste society and if you or your ancestors ever went up to the surface you are considered branded and are nothing but scum on the sidewalk. I also detect a touch of Pratchetts dwarves in the society as well especially with the fear that they may fly off into the sky if they leave their tunnels.

You can start as either a dwarven noble or a casteless outlaw. I haven't tried the noble yet but it's fascinating how sucked in you can get when your character gets snide comments about being a Brand or unclean or unwelcome every step of the way.

I am almost sad to say that I may find the elves the more interesting. I've never really cared for the typical fantasy view of elves, all powerful, immortal and smug as hell but in this version the elves are on the fringes of society after having been enslaved twice and have a deserved distrust of humans.

A city elf starts out life in the slums about to be married when the Arl's (the leader of the city) son appears looking for some "fun." Let's just say out of all the heads I chopped off his was by far the most satisfying.

This is the rare game where I am happy to play as a woman and may only make one male character just to see the difference. So many others I'd much rather be male because they get better stats, better armor or don't have insipid comments or conversations.

In fact I may even go so far as to say it's a much more inviting and richer story if you do play as a woman than a man, yet you wouldn't know it from the way the game has been advertised. (In fact the land is set up so their Prophet is actually female which draws some interesting parallels to our own world if the same had happened).

So there's my little review, if you're big into RPGs you got to get it. If you like to game but have never tried the hack and slash RPGs I'd suggest giving it a go. And video game industry, more games like this where the woman can cover up if they so choose and relationships actually feel real instead of like two highschoolers got a hold of a mic and less of well everything else.

As for me, I'm off on another hack and slash mission. We must reclaim the roast of the pot! Who's with me?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Flip Face

You know by the time Grandmas are rocking facebook pages and the local Hardware store has a twitter account the amazing social power of the internet hasn't just hit mainstream, it's got it in cement shoes and is driving towards the harbor.

On top of having to sum up your life in a few words for every permutation of "Connecting with people" we have there is also the tricky situation of picking an avatar.

Very popular with the younger crowd is the "Take a picture of yourself with a cellphone in a mirror" or the "Hold the camera just out of reach and snap a blurry picture of your nostril."

But that's about as unprofessional as you can get short of putting up a picture of you flipping a canary. Unless your message to everyone is "please think I'm one of those weird 28 year olds with a MySpace page with glittering unicorns" this is a no go.

There is also the option of going with an adorable puppy or baby, but the super cute pictures seem to be getting a bit of a backlash as of late. Hard Times, just not a good time for cuteness I suppose.

So assuming that you want an image of yourself but not just a picture, what is there to do?



There ya go, go off and flipface. I'll be here nibbling on a scone waiting. 

Oh you probably want a bit more of an explanation then. FlipFace is a pretty cool deal where the artist takes your picture and creates for you an awesome avatar that looks like you but is also refreshing and has none of those obsessive details the beauty industry would try to kill us with (aka no wrinkles, acne or gorillas camped out on your back).


Check out Flipped Me:

I'd like to say that my smile isn't that big in real life but it's probably bigger. I heard a few Julia Roberts references when I was younger (and not really in a good way).

I thought it was so awesome I just had to get one of Essie too for when I'm in more of a cartoon puppy mood:

I love my, not quite professional but still very personal and awesome new avs. No more scrounging over and over to come up with something new every holiday (oh who am I kidding I'm sure I'll have something fun at least for Halloween).

So if you're still hunting for a cool personal Av, check out FlipFace! Or if you love Halloween and monsters a lot, he also has a super cool Monster by Mail that you have to see as well.

Now I really will eat my scone while you get your FlipFace. Mmm craisins.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Dear Abby's got nothing on me

I like to think I am generally aware and on top of the trends sweeping across the vast internet plains.

Your failed cakes, your piano playing cats, your lightsabered young men.

But I have a horrible habit of finding something, thinking it's cute and then not jumping on the bandwagon til the "this is so cool" factor has already sailed.

It's probably my secret way of making sure I am never hip, because if given the opportunity I'd much rather be patella.

I speak of the "Ask me a Question" trend on twitter (and to some extent facebook and blogs). All it boils down to is that someone either anonymously or not asks me a question and I answer it.

Yeah I didn't really get it either at first. How many times can you ask a person their favorite color anyway?And are you expected to remember all the answers? Will there be a quiz at the end?!

But then I remembered I'm a complete smart ass. So I can just answer the questions how best it fits my philosophy. One should never take serious answers seriously the only true answer is in the lies. Instead it's much more fun to shroud the true answer with puns and twists.

Sorta like going on a linguistics Easter Egg Hunt but with a smaller chance of finding chocolate.

Last night I started playing and here are some of my favorite answers so far in the "Ask Sabrina a Question and See what Comes out" game:

1. If you could ask God one question what would it be?

The duckbill platypus, really? Who did you think you'd fool with that one?

2. What was the worst advice you've ever received?

It's shake 'n' bake and I helped.

3. Would you rather be rich or famous?

Can I be famous for being rich, or does Paris Hilton have that copyrighted by now?

4. If you won a million dollars what would you do with it?

I'd put on some Barry White, light a few candles and hope for another million in 9 months.

5. If you could look like anybody, who would it be?

The Quaker Oats guy so for every Halloween I'd just have to put a trashcan over my head with a hole cut out. Instant costume. Instant breakfast too.

6. Do you believe in luck?

The Leprechaun I accidentally ran over with the lawnmower sure didn't have any.

And probably my all time favorite answer/question (wait, reverse that).

7. What's the secret to happiness?

Not being sad.

I've got a ton more question/answers there (note a ton equals about 45) so if you want to check it out or even if you'd like to ask me a question yourself head over to :


 In the mean time I shall be checking out the next in big internet trends, boxing kittens. Toodles.