New New New Old

After a bit of goading (or is it goating? Why don't people give goats anymore. That's what lead to this fall of civilization, a lack of sharing small ruminants.) I re-opened the wacky and zany soap shop my husband and I started a year ago.

At first things were quiet, a few tumblewedes would blow through and finger the merchandise before asking I validate their parking then an order here. Then another. And suddenly I'm spending all my paintings days making coolers instead of actual canvas monstrosities.

Thus I am happy to announce that along with the original 18 different soaps from before I can also now make your own bathroom sized gallbladder.

This wasn't entirely born from a fevered dream of mine, a customer asked if we could whip one out in time for Mothers day. As I'm of the "sure, why the hell not" idiom a big of goating for my husband and here she is. Now visions of all kinds of different soap options are floating through my head: Pizza that smells like tomato, vivisection of torsos, coffins with small skeletons inside.

More proof that I am finally coming out of my creativity fog, I actually created a new painting as well. It's a smaller one, because I wasn't certain how well my attempt at painting lightning would go but I wanted to try anyway.

Turns out lightning is a lot like trees, but upside down and a bit more jagged. It's for sale as well, in that link up there if anyone's curious.

Finally, for those days when you stumble across a boiling point article but wish to retain your sanity:

Keep Panicking!

As seems to happen to pretty much every Etsy trend I always hated those stupid re-purposed "Keep Calm" crap from war posters that were all fucking over when I was planning my wedding and apparently much like an oroborous just kept consuming itself until you wound up well with this.

Like most things that annoy me I decided to usurp and create my own, which I spent under 10 minutes on - far less than my usual throw away joke images (and also a very sad sign for anyone who spent $15 on their own Keep Calm poster).

And for the Mage/Wizard and/or Roosevelt fan.

I think I got it all out of my system. Now back to ragging on dancing hipsters with owls and cowls:

Oh Anders

There were a few let's call them changes for one favorite Dragon Age Character from Awakening to DA:2 and while I understand and agree with them I still always have this response in the back of my head while playing:

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I just realized I also never showed you all my finished map complete with tea stain and burned edge:

I actually stuck it up for sale in my Zazzle store so I could get my own copy of the poster. Now it lives in my painting room.

My Favorite Mac & Cheese

My idea of comfort food tends to steer a bit away from the traditional american fare - hotdogs, chicken nuggets, the orange neon radioactive noodles from the blue box - and to german influenced pound a piece of pork flat, dredge in flour, fry it up and cover in unctuous brown gravy. So I don't tend to go out of my way to remake the classics but better.

Then I went and got married to an occasional Catholic and suddenly this Lent thing meant needing to think of non-meat dishes for Friday and pretending I thought of something really good to give up. (For old readers this should seem old hat, what can I say three years blogging there's bound to be repeats)

Thus began my attempts to find a good homemade baked macaroni and cheese that does not put one in mind of ground up cheetos. My first attempt still reigns as my biggest kitchen disaster, it called for onions a lot of it too, and there were complications. It wasn't creamy just a large gelatinous blob of what was once cheese with some noodles clinging desperately for life encased within.

Next lent I tried again and stumbled across what is possibly the ambrosia of Mac & Cheese and also one of the quickest and easiest recipes in my arsenal.

You need

1. 8 ounces of pasta (It doesn't have to be elbow, I've done bowties and penne before)

2. 2 cups of cream

3. 1 & 3/4 cup milk

4. A crap ton of cheese. I prefer Cheddar (the kind that tries to bite your tongue back) and Emmentaler mostly because it's cheaper than Guyere but that and Swiss work just as well.

You will need to start the night before, which I rather enjoy. Take some time, make a big mess and then leave it for the morning.

Boil the pasta but only for 4 minutes. You'll want it very very al tooth.

While that is quickly boiling, grate cheese. I like a lot of cheese. The original recipe calls for one cup of each but I always do two and then throw in some shredded for a touch of color. Save back about a cup for the topping in a separate bowl.

Into the large bowl of grated cheese add the cream, the milk, the still hard pasta and some salt and pepper to taste. Then put that in the fridge to sit overnight and suck up the creamy goodness while you save Hawke's butt from getting killed by Qunari (or whatever it is normal people do).

*waves magic fairy wand*

It's tomorrow which means preheat the oven to 400. You'll also want to pull out the pasta bowl so it gets to room temp.

Dump the cheesy pasta into a 9X9 baking dish. Mix 3/4 cup of bread crumbs with some butter and the leftover cheese for that oh I think my taste buds exploded topping.

Now put your casserole dish into the oven for 15-20 minutes and voila!

My favorite oh my god this is so rich I can only eat a few bites before passing out in joy mac & cheese recipe. The fact it's so easy a focused gila monster with a culinary degree helps.

What the hell does :(->: mean?

I have been harboring a deep dark secret that brings shame not only upon me but my family, my dog and for some reason my refrigerator (it's a very empathic food vessel).

You see, I am *gulp* an emoticon illiterate!

Having grown up with the IM computing age I have no plausible explanation for the fact that a series of random punctuation and letters that so many can read instantly as a mood or passion is a block of squiggly lines for me. If there are little icons, small green or yellow faces shaking in pixelated fury then I understand but the core essence of greater than, hyphen and colon's and I'm lost.

Here for your amusement is how I read those squiggles when talking to someone across the vast intertubes.

How an emoticon illiterate sees the world:

;) = I lost my contact


;O = I took out my contact and shoved it in my mouth


:) = a banana and two peas


........:P = a man with 8 nails in his head


:[ = space invader


:{ = cookie monster


o:-) = lobotomy


<:-( = lobotomy with a band saw.


|-I = Cylon


|-O = lobotomized cylon


;-> = pac man eating a one eyed ghost


l:-0? = now you're just fucking with me