*In continuing my bastardization of classics by including zombies I present the most overdone and misunderstood Shakespeare play "Romeo & Juliet" (Taylor Swift I'm looking at you).
JULIET:
O Romero, Romero! Wherefore art thou Romero?
Deny thy hunger and refuse thy fiend;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Survivor.
ROMERO [Aside.]:
Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?
JULIET:
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy.
That and the blood thirsty zombies afoot.
Trapping us forever in this labyrinth,
Of food courts, broken bathrooms, and the gap
The only humans alive.
What's in a brain? That which we could call head cheese
By any other word would be just as disgusting on toast.
So Romero would, were he not Romero called,
Retain that dear putrefaction which he owes
Without that bite. Romeo, doff thy urge;
And for thy decay which is no part of thee,
Take all myself.
ROMERO:
I take thee at thy word.
Call me but love, and I'll be newly transformed;
Henceforth I never will be Romero.
JULIET:
What man art thou, that, thus bescreened in night,
So stumblest on my sentinel
ROMERO:
By a breed
I know not how to tell thee who I am.
My hunger, dear saint, is an affliction to me
And if left to my own I would but nibble your ear.
JULIET:
My gun has not yet banished a hundred immortals
To the grave they dare to leave, yet it knows you
Art thou not Romero, and very Zombified?
ROMERO:
Neither, fair maid, if either thee dislike.
JULIET:
How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The Yonkers walls are high and hard to climb,
And the place death, considering who thou art,
If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
ROMERO:
With famine's light wings did I o'erperch these walls;
For stony limits cannot hold hunger out,
And what brains can do, that dares zombie attempt.
Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.
JULIET:
If you come any closer, the gun will murder thee.
ROMERO:
Alack, there lies no peril in thine eye
For I have already feasted upon your kinsmen brains,
And now I hunger for Juliet-a mode.
JULIET:
I would not dare if I were you.
*shoots Romero in the head ending the play early so we can all go home before our butts fall asleep*
Monday, July 6, 2009
Picture a Day - Day 215
Before I get to today's pictures I just had to share this comment that was left on my craptastic Fourth of July post (trust me, it's really really REALLY funny)
****
Fruit Basket Review said...
Looks like you guys had a great time. If you decide to send something besides fruit baskets with poisoned apples, Fruit Basket Review directs you to the best gourmet fruit baskets online and provides fruit basket discount codes, promotional codes, and coupon codes.
****
Oh spam comments how you delight me in your randomness. Poisoned apple fruit baskets for all!
Anyway, back to today's regularly scheduled programing.
My intrinsic decorating sense is somewhere around that of a sea cucumber. I have a vague sense of colors existing but no idea what to do about it or even if I should care.
So my husband and I have been keeping the few rooms we do have to re-paint rather simple. The more tucked away bathroom is gonna have a forestry look cause we like green and all, and like just about every other bathroom across the country, our main is going to be ocean inspired.
And thus began our never ending quest to find bathroom supplies that remind one of the ocean without getting to campy (IE no sandal shaped soap holders).
I could have sworn a few years ago you couldn't go to any stores bathroom selection without getting hit by a seashell shaped lotion dispenser or a wavey trash basket. We've been to just about every store imaginable trying to hunt down bathroom stuff only to come home dejected and empty handed.
Everyone has gone super classic and boring in the recession. You got your typical shaped toiletries in all the primary colors and that's about it. Oh sure, there may be a few mixed colors but even those are pretty rare.
And that is how we wound up at TJMax on a rainy long weekend.
While they like everyone else didn't have anything we were looking for in bathroom type supplies I found something so cool I had to get it and then take a few pictures to share.
And just what is in this sort of rustic and yet polished box?
A score of tea bags of course (I hope I get a spam comment for tea now). It's a good thing my husband is a fairly avid tea drinker. We should be through this thing in a few months once it cools down a bit.
Now I just have to decide what to do with this box. What would you keep in it if you had a little tea box like this? I'm thinking maybe something in the forest bathroom but I'm not sure.
There was also another box built much like this one only shaped like a book. It's funny just what you find at some of the department store reject stores sometimes. We also made off with a ton of spices, but alas no soap dish.
Have you found any interesting scores recently while hunting for something else? It's also funny whenever we find something interesting or strange at a store and inevitably while we're checking out the cashier always looks at it in awe and asks "I didn't know we had something like this."
Apparently we have a knack for finding weird stuff.
****
Fruit Basket Review said...
Looks like you guys had a great time. If you decide to send something besides fruit baskets with poisoned apples, Fruit Basket Review directs you to the best gourmet fruit baskets online and provides fruit basket discount codes, promotional codes, and coupon codes.
****
Oh spam comments how you delight me in your randomness. Poisoned apple fruit baskets for all!
Anyway, back to today's regularly scheduled programing.
My intrinsic decorating sense is somewhere around that of a sea cucumber. I have a vague sense of colors existing but no idea what to do about it or even if I should care.
So my husband and I have been keeping the few rooms we do have to re-paint rather simple. The more tucked away bathroom is gonna have a forestry look cause we like green and all, and like just about every other bathroom across the country, our main is going to be ocean inspired.
And thus began our never ending quest to find bathroom supplies that remind one of the ocean without getting to campy (IE no sandal shaped soap holders).
I could have sworn a few years ago you couldn't go to any stores bathroom selection without getting hit by a seashell shaped lotion dispenser or a wavey trash basket. We've been to just about every store imaginable trying to hunt down bathroom stuff only to come home dejected and empty handed.
Everyone has gone super classic and boring in the recession. You got your typical shaped toiletries in all the primary colors and that's about it. Oh sure, there may be a few mixed colors but even those are pretty rare.
And that is how we wound up at TJMax on a rainy long weekend.
While they like everyone else didn't have anything we were looking for in bathroom type supplies I found something so cool I had to get it and then take a few pictures to share.
And just what is in this sort of rustic and yet polished box?
A score of tea bags of course (I hope I get a spam comment for tea now). It's a good thing my husband is a fairly avid tea drinker. We should be through this thing in a few months once it cools down a bit.Now I just have to decide what to do with this box. What would you keep in it if you had a little tea box like this? I'm thinking maybe something in the forest bathroom but I'm not sure.
There was also another box built much like this one only shaped like a book. It's funny just what you find at some of the department store reject stores sometimes. We also made off with a ton of spices, but alas no soap dish.
Have you found any interesting scores recently while hunting for something else? It's also funny whenever we find something interesting or strange at a store and inevitably while we're checking out the cashier always looks at it in awe and asks "I didn't know we had something like this."
Apparently we have a knack for finding weird stuff.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Picture a Day - Day 214
My Craptacular Fourth of July Weekend.
A report by me, for me and of me.
*A hem* The day of Independence didn't start out too bad. In fact, it was looking to be a rather good day. Our celebratory Beer Can chicken turned out quite well and very flavorful (no setting a whole chicken on fire this holiday):
After eating our fill we set out to accomplish some house chores trying to blissfully ignore all the hoops we had to jump through on Thursday to appease the loan people (who just had to wait a week before, with a holiday weekend coming up, to spring it on us. Really, thanks guys. I'll get you a fruit basket full of poisoned apples) and how we almost couldn't get the house due to the appraisers ignoring the basement. (We got a deal, but it's gonna cost us another $1,000 in the down payment)
We spent a few hours at a furniture mart sitting on things and poking around every drawer imaginable (I'll share our finds some other day when I'm in a happier mood). Around about after noon the whole day started to take a wrong turn.
The weather started out sorta nice (if you ignored the foreboding clouds in the distance) so we took the chance to duck outside and shoot off our rather boring fireworks.
We were planning on saving our bigger more night-tastic fireworks for later, what with when night would fall and all.
Then the storms blew in. I thought, oh we better try this before it thinks of raining. And crouched out in the parking lot, a grill lighter in one hand and a fountain cone in the other I cursed the never ceasing wind with all my breath.
With cold storms, constant rain, and constant stress coming at either our housing situation, our jobs or from family problems (you don't even want to know, but suffice it to say I'm thinking about adopting a dog from a local shelter again) this has been -- by miles -- the most craptacular and shit-tastic fourth of July I've ever attempted to celebrate in my life.
Both of our stomachs are boiling away with stress and worry, instead of encouraging cookouts and swimming the weather sent everyone hiding inside, and we didn't even get to see any damn fireworks.
I seriously hope you all had a much better holiday because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (well maybe one or two).
Now to just hope and pray that we make it to Friday without having another major meltdown.
A report by me, for me and of me.
*A hem* The day of Independence didn't start out too bad. In fact, it was looking to be a rather good day. Our celebratory Beer Can chicken turned out quite well and very flavorful (no setting a whole chicken on fire this holiday):
After eating our fill we set out to accomplish some house chores trying to blissfully ignore all the hoops we had to jump through on Thursday to appease the loan people (who just had to wait a week before, with a holiday weekend coming up, to spring it on us. Really, thanks guys. I'll get you a fruit basket full of poisoned apples) and how we almost couldn't get the house due to the appraisers ignoring the basement. (We got a deal, but it's gonna cost us another $1,000 in the down payment)We spent a few hours at a furniture mart sitting on things and poking around every drawer imaginable (I'll share our finds some other day when I'm in a happier mood). Around about after noon the whole day started to take a wrong turn.
The weather started out sorta nice (if you ignored the foreboding clouds in the distance) so we took the chance to duck outside and shoot off our rather boring fireworks.
We were planning on saving our bigger more night-tastic fireworks for later, what with when night would fall and all.Then the storms blew in. I thought, oh we better try this before it thinks of raining. And crouched out in the parking lot, a grill lighter in one hand and a fountain cone in the other I cursed the never ceasing wind with all my breath.
With cold storms, constant rain, and constant stress coming at either our housing situation, our jobs or from family problems (you don't even want to know, but suffice it to say I'm thinking about adopting a dog from a local shelter again) this has been -- by miles -- the most craptacular and shit-tastic fourth of July I've ever attempted to celebrate in my life.
Both of our stomachs are boiling away with stress and worry, instead of encouraging cookouts and swimming the weather sent everyone hiding inside, and we didn't even get to see any damn fireworks.
I seriously hope you all had a much better holiday because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (well maybe one or two).
Now to just hope and pray that we make it to Friday without having another major meltdown.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Picture a Day - Day 213
Happy Fourth of July!
I hope your fourth is looking a lot better than ours right now. We sat inside listening to the oohs and ahs followed by loud bangs and flash of light. Then the heavens opened up and dampened 30 pounds of gun powder:
So we just shot off some champagne poppers, grabbed the filler and played with it in the wind. About the boringest fireworks in the world, really:
Ooh!
Ahh!
Um . . .
I think we'll just go back inside and dry off.
For everyone else who isn't thinking about herding two of each animal and trying to figure out what the hell a cubit is, I hope you have a blasting fourth.
I hope your fourth is looking a lot better than ours right now. We sat inside listening to the oohs and ahs followed by loud bangs and flash of light. Then the heavens opened up and dampened 30 pounds of gun powder:
So we just shot off some champagne poppers, grabbed the filler and played with it in the wind. About the boringest fireworks in the world, really:
Ooh!
Ahh!
Um . . .
I think we'll just go back inside and dry off.For everyone else who isn't thinking about herding two of each animal and trying to figure out what the hell a cubit is, I hope you have a blasting fourth.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Picture a Day - Day 212
Canker sores.
If you are one of those lucky people to have never suffered through one you can just stop reading righhht now!
I've had to fight off canker sores for as long as I can remember. It was really bad in high school as the changing hormones and stress contributed to a painful mouth every time there was a band concert. (Ever try to play a clarinet with two canker sores? Not fun).
I'd tried all those old folksy remedies, yogurt, gargling with salt, anything to alleviate the pain and get those stupid things gone. (Oh and if you still get some you have to get KANKA, that stuff will numb half the side of your face).
Then the wedding came up and I realized I needed to take some drastic measures or all that stress was going to make me one miserable bride thanks to my mouth. After some serious hunting I found an interesting solution to my problem: toothpaste.
Special toothpaste designed for all of us canker sore sufferers. The sad thing is that what makes it so special isn't what's in it but what's left out - SLS to be exact. SLS (or sodium lauryl sulfate) is what causes the foaming reaction you get with toothpastes, it also causes small microscopic tears in your mouth (which considering what I use it for in the lab it makes a lot of sense).
No big deal for a normal person, but if you suffer from canker sores even the tiniest tear could turn into a full blown ulcer. And everytime you brush your teeth you just make it worse.
I've been using this stuff for about a year now and I've only have about 5 or 6 sores, compared to me averaging about 5 or 6 a month without. And those I did have cleared up a lot quicker than ever before.
It is damn expensive (about $7 a tube) and impossible to find (walgreens.com or drugstore.com are the only options I've seen so far) but for me it's worth the price to not have to suffer through eating, talking, or just sitting quietly trying to forget my mouth is in horrific pain.
Damn I sound like an infomercial, but really it's rare I find stuff that I just love and have to have and this is one of them.
If you are one of those lucky people to have never suffered through one you can just stop reading righhht now!
I've had to fight off canker sores for as long as I can remember. It was really bad in high school as the changing hormones and stress contributed to a painful mouth every time there was a band concert. (Ever try to play a clarinet with two canker sores? Not fun).
I'd tried all those old folksy remedies, yogurt, gargling with salt, anything to alleviate the pain and get those stupid things gone. (Oh and if you still get some you have to get KANKA, that stuff will numb half the side of your face).
Then the wedding came up and I realized I needed to take some drastic measures or all that stress was going to make me one miserable bride thanks to my mouth. After some serious hunting I found an interesting solution to my problem: toothpaste.
Special toothpaste designed for all of us canker sore sufferers. The sad thing is that what makes it so special isn't what's in it but what's left out - SLS to be exact. SLS (or sodium lauryl sulfate) is what causes the foaming reaction you get with toothpastes, it also causes small microscopic tears in your mouth (which considering what I use it for in the lab it makes a lot of sense).No big deal for a normal person, but if you suffer from canker sores even the tiniest tear could turn into a full blown ulcer. And everytime you brush your teeth you just make it worse.
I've been using this stuff for about a year now and I've only have about 5 or 6 sores, compared to me averaging about 5 or 6 a month without. And those I did have cleared up a lot quicker than ever before.
It is damn expensive (about $7 a tube) and impossible to find (walgreens.com or drugstore.com are the only options I've seen so far) but for me it's worth the price to not have to suffer through eating, talking, or just sitting quietly trying to forget my mouth is in horrific pain.
Damn I sound like an infomercial, but really it's rare I find stuff that I just love and have to have and this is one of them.
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