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Monday, June 29, 2009

Smile, what's the use of crying

I alluded to it in my earlier post but my husband was in a funk the whole weekend worrying over how and what to tell his parents regarding the incredibly unthoughtful rehearsal dinner we really don't want to attend.

While he sort of avoided the whole thing with his Mother, he did learn some more info from his father making me even more indignant about attending and hoping we can skip the entire wedding.

The reason why they are having a rehearsal dinner (and still no word on a possible rehearsal) on a Thursday meaning we'd have to waste another day of vacation on her is so the bride can get her beauty rest on Friday. (Yeah, I shit you not)

The wedding is being held downtown at the Planetarium so the plan was for all the wedding party (again her brother isn't in it) to get a hotel room so they'd be right there and ready to go. Only they can't have a rehearsal dinner the night before because Miss Zilla has to make sure she can get about 14 hours of sleep and they're going to check into the hotel on Friday afternoon to stay downtown.

It's the only reason I can think of why someone would have to make it next to impossible for everyone elses needs and plan the dinner when she did is so she can get to sleep by 8. And if you're thinking that they're doing this because it'll be a morning or early afternoon wedding, think again. It starts at 6:30PM.

The excuse we were given as to why they have to devote over 24 hours to getting beautified? Because they hired an expensive photographer.

That sound you hear is me banging my head against the desk. How many people here hired a photographer for your wedding? Uh huh, and how many wanted to look good for their wedding?

Good good. Now how many here were so selfish and worried about looking perfect that you'd sacrifice the comfort and thoughts for your immediate family demanding they lose money and time just for your beauty routine? No takers.

As I got into the wedding planning process and read a multitude of bridal blogs I thought for sure that Bridezilla was a myth invented by the media outlet and reality TV to make a quick buck and get a chance to portray women as crazed monsters. Everyone just seemed so nice and level headed, and women were worried about doing their best to make their family and friends as comfortable as possible.

I never really thought anyone could be so selfish to scream "It's my day" so you have to bend over backwards and do whatever I want. Yes even if that means not being able to move out of an apartment on time or taking an extra day off work because "IT'S MY DAY AND I MUST BE PERFECT!"

All the way back in December I was getting a sinking feeling about this wedding, now I'm hoping to abandon it like a rat out of a ship. I'm trying to think of any valid excuse I can to skip it. My husband is just an usher (even though the groom's sister is a bridesmaid) and he isn't even going to be in any of those expensive photographers pictures. I am going to be, in the best case scenario ignored, in the worst ridiculed to the back wall and shunned.

It's almost as though Miss Zilla really seems to think that she is the first person in all of history to ever have a wedding, because she expects the world to stop spinning just for her.

I need a little music to calm my nerves. Charlie Chaplin seems like a good choice: If I ever have to make any suggestions, I want this played at my funeral.

Now, I've got a month. What excuses can I come up with to get out of this wedding from hell?

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