Will I be a Beautiful Bride?

I knew that you had to have your hair done for a wedding and have vague
knowledge about makeup, but I am finding this insidious push that if you don't do this and this and this you won't be a beautiful bride.

There have been a few recent articles about brides that plunk down thousands of dollars to get plastic surgery. Assuming that this isn't something they've been thinking about doing for years for personal reasons and it's just because they'll be a princess for a day so they should have a new nose is damn scary.

But even on the less extreme ends are some frightening trends. First off is teeth whitening, we've all seen the adds on TV of people with some nicely bleached teeth telling you unless your teeth are blinding pilots they aren't white enough. Luckily lots of vendors are happy to step in and help out.

Now that your teeth are as white as Snow White and 4 of the dwarves (They're well known for their dentistry) it's time to make you look as dark as possible to show off those chompers. Time for some tanning. If you are going to try and skip the UV from the sun or those tanning beds, there is a myriad of sunless options (and some videos on how to perfect it!). Some people will swear by a home lotion tanning process and will then swear at the smell of it. Others love going into a booth and either having a machine or a human spray paint you.

There is also the issue of hair. Some you want to get rid of (with waxes and threading all over your body) and some you want to add too with extensions and fake eyelashes. For the other extra chitin on your body (your nails) you're gonna for sure want to get yourself a mani and a pedi (possibly also a betti and a jetty). After all you'll have to have lots of pictures taken of that ring finger.

After all this beautification you can't forget the most important part, er um, oh right, your face! Just about every salon seems to offer a bridal package that includes a facial, a must have so you can get that glowing look. It isn't like just being excited about getting married is enough anymore.

What amazes me about all these things is how important they are stressed. So many women seem to worry themselves silly about how to get a not fake tan, or what to do if they get a pimple (I've just accepted the fact and am going to draw a smiley face on it). How come the groom can get away with getting up at noon, showering and getting dressed?

For me, I'm not going to stress on being a beautiful bride. I think instead I'll focus on being a happy bride.