Twas Beauty that painted the Beast

The dress painting business has slowed down a bit lately (it's probably for the best as I have to make a huge 16X20 of an angel in a forest for a friend that I'm freaking out about a bit. I have got to stop telling people I paint). But for the past week I've been working on my largest dress so far, an 11X14.

I had a sinking feeling going into it when the customer, the mother of the bride, asked for a painting for her daughters "mattiage" and the grammar and spelling got progressively worse after that.

But after a few e-mails that required linguistics to go through I got enough information so I sat down with the pictures and went to work creating a champagne colored (as I was explicitly told three times with two different spellings) dress with an outdoors background.Before I added the beading I sat back and realized that this thing, with a bit more yellow, would be a dead ringer for Belle's ballroom gown.

Rather proud of myself I sent the pictures off to the MOB and received back an e-mail telling me once again that the dress is Champagne but the paintings picture I sent, the very one up there, looks white. Now I have a hell of a time with telling the difference between some ivory's and white (unless you hold swatches up to your dress it's about impossible to really tell especially in pictures) but I made damn sure in processing the picture that the painting maintained its natural colors as closely as possible.

I will admit I got a bit defensive about the fact that someone who can't be bothered to use periods, commas or a spell check when communicating through e-mail with a business (we'll a sort of business) questions my own comprehension and reading abilities. I'm still waiting on her to actually purchase the dress through etsy, so this has been an interesting experience all around (and if I do get screwed over, maybe it will turn into Belle's dress).

Sadly I haven't had too many horror stories about customers yet (well sadly for all of you reading about my antics, I'm very very thankful for it myself). There was just the one demanding I mimic another artist that I shot down and this whole little debacle.

It's also making me quite glad that I don't work in retail as I'd probably get in trouble at least once a week for mouthing off to customers. I don't prescribe to the idea that the customer is always right (because if they were always right they wouldn't really need you as they could do it themselves) but I do everything I can to make the customer happy.

Now, how the hell do I paint an angel?

Picture a Day - Day 209

'Allo 'Allo

Ze name es Monsieur Fry, though sadly no relation to either Stephen or Philip J.I was asked by ze purveyor of this site to introduce myself. She and her husband recently inquired about my services as a playmate for small furry friends.

For a small fee I shall devote myself to distracting your puppy from turning her powerful jaws on a beloved box, couch, decorative vase, or your vast supply of tupperware. I cannot wait to spend hours with your soft and cuddly furbaby discussing my amazing life from the year I spent climbing Mount Everest to my one squeaky toy expedition to discover El Dorado.I am sure your puppy and I shall become ze best of friends and last for years and years to come.

What's with all ze snickering? I just know we'll get along swimmingly. What was that? No I don't have any fears of being buried alive or drawn and quartered.

And yes I am rather attached to my squeaky, thank you for asking.

*******
Sadly Mr. Fry could not be reached for comment after this interview as his shoes were ripped off and he was buried up to his neck in mud.

We still have a month or so to go, but we can't wait to have a little puppy tearing everything up attacking little latex toys with wild abandon. They're doing what puppies do best right now: eating, pooping and growing bigger:
Pretty soon those little eyes are gonna start popping open and they won't stagger around like little drunks anymore.

They grow up so fast, don't they?

Smile, what's the use of crying

I alluded to it in my earlier post but my husband was in a funk the whole weekend worrying over how and what to tell his parents regarding the incredibly unthoughtful rehearsal dinner we really don't want to attend.

While he sort of avoided the whole thing with his Mother, he did learn some more info from his father making me even more indignant about attending and hoping we can skip the entire wedding.

The reason why they are having a rehearsal dinner (and still no word on a possible rehearsal) on a Thursday meaning we'd have to waste another day of vacation on her is so the bride can get her beauty rest on Friday. (Yeah, I shit you not)

The wedding is being held downtown at the Planetarium so the plan was for all the wedding party (again her brother isn't in it) to get a hotel room so they'd be right there and ready to go. Only they can't have a rehearsal dinner the night before because Miss Zilla has to make sure she can get about 14 hours of sleep and they're going to check into the hotel on Friday afternoon to stay downtown.

It's the only reason I can think of why someone would have to make it next to impossible for everyone elses needs and plan the dinner when she did is so she can get to sleep by 8. And if you're thinking that they're doing this because it'll be a morning or early afternoon wedding, think again. It starts at 6:30PM.

The excuse we were given as to why they have to devote over 24 hours to getting beautified? Because they hired an expensive photographer.

That sound you hear is me banging my head against the desk. How many people here hired a photographer for your wedding? Uh huh, and how many wanted to look good for their wedding?

Good good. Now how many here were so selfish and worried about looking perfect that you'd sacrifice the comfort and thoughts for your immediate family demanding they lose money and time just for your beauty routine? No takers.

As I got into the wedding planning process and read a multitude of bridal blogs I thought for sure that Bridezilla was a myth invented by the media outlet and reality TV to make a quick buck and get a chance to portray women as crazed monsters. Everyone just seemed so nice and level headed, and women were worried about doing their best to make their family and friends as comfortable as possible.

I never really thought anyone could be so selfish to scream "It's my day" so you have to bend over backwards and do whatever I want. Yes even if that means not being able to move out of an apartment on time or taking an extra day off work because "IT'S MY DAY AND I MUST BE PERFECT!"

All the way back in December I was getting a sinking feeling about this wedding, now I'm hoping to abandon it like a rat out of a ship. I'm trying to think of any valid excuse I can to skip it. My husband is just an usher (even though the groom's sister is a bridesmaid) and he isn't even going to be in any of those expensive photographers pictures. I am going to be, in the best case scenario ignored, in the worst ridiculed to the back wall and shunned.

It's almost as though Miss Zilla really seems to think that she is the first person in all of history to ever have a wedding, because she expects the world to stop spinning just for her.

I need a little music to calm my nerves. Charlie Chaplin seems like a good choice:If I ever have to make any suggestions, I want this played at my funeral.

Now, I've got a month. What excuses can I come up with to get out of this wedding from hell?

Picture a Day - Day 208

We needed a little break this weekend. On top of all the family drama and hair pulling of the past few days there was also our apartment. It just sits there threatening us with all its crap begging to be packed away but us having no where to put it.

So we got in the car and drove far far away, trying to get as far from our little warehouse as possible and wound up here.
It's James Arthur Vineyards, and I was going to do everything possible to get my husband out of his "I'll only respond with one or two words because I'm in a mood worrying but I don't want to think about what's bothering me; instead I'll just make everyone around me miserable too" funk.

They had an ingenious thought for what to do with some old wine bottles and turned it into what looks like a dispersal sprinkler system. Or it could just be lawn art, I only stopped long enough to take a quick picture. Sorry to get your hopes up like that.The blue bottle's my favorite and not just because the bottle is lovely. We both got a glass of wine and settled outside with most of the other patrons to take in the gorgeous and for once not 90 degree day.
This is Edelweiss, about the only wine I've found so far that I can drink like grape juice. It reminds me a lot of those Meyers sparkling grape juices you can get around the holidays (and being a Methodist I am a connoisseur of sparkling grape juice), light and fruity with barely any alcohol taste.

In fact, I even finished mine off before my husband.All gone!

We got up and wandered the grounds a bit. Some because I wanted to take pictures but mostly because I love paths and wandering absentmindedly on them. I have to figure out just where it leads because I'm crazy like that.

In this case it lead to the 1800's:I swear we don't all have covered wagons sitting in our backyard in Nebraska, just some of us.

And what's the point of going to a vineyard if you can't wander among the grape vines?Not quite as imposing as a corn field. It's a little hard to picture an evil scarecrow ripping through the Napa Valley hell bent on getting a Merlot.

I'll leave you now with scenes of baby wine.
It was a lovely little getaway. Eventually we made our way back to the apartment and consigned ourselves to spending the next two weeks trapped in a cardboard maze, but for a few hours we got to wander in bright sunshine with nary a box in sight.

Do you have a special little getaway place? Somewhere that's probably thought to be a bit fancier but you can just relax in beauty?

Picture a Day - Day 207

Someones been sleeping in my bed.

Oh no, someones been sleeping in my bed too.

Oh yeah. We'll someones been sleeping in my bed and she's still in there!Or at least it sure looks that way.

My husband has to be contained within a 5,000 degree oven to remain at his optimal core body temperature when he sleeps. This is usually accomplished by a quilt that weighs about 30 pounds and could crush small mammals.

Most mornings when he gets up he pushes and mangles his blankets into weird shapes (and always closer to my side). There have been numerous times I've woken up and thought that he was still lying next to me when he'd already made a b-line for his computer hours ago.

It is a bit disconcerting to being so sure you're going to put your arm around a person and suddenly find you've pulverized their neck because they're actually full of down.

This picture probably crushes all those images you all had of me as the perfect 1950's domestic goddess. The beds aren't made (and are never made as it just seems like an exercise in futility to me), the decor doesn't even come close to matching, and the biggest horror or horrors we don't sleep in separate beds!

I'll just go and sew this giant Scarlett A on me now. Toodles.

Picture a Day - Day 206

Companies will give you the weirdest stuff when you order big shiny things for the lab. Usually it's useless junk like a back scratcher, a CD holder, or a box of tips.

But after we got in our nice new 150 lb centrifuge in amongst all the swing boxes that were smashed thanks to the thing being tossed around by an elephant sat this:
His name is Captain Eppi, apparently, and his job -- aside from horrifying every small child who looks upon him -- is to hold the rotor changer.

It's crazy that every other lab I've been in has been in the dark ages, for without Captain Eppi they just kept all their rotor stuff in a drawer. But now we can waste valuable bench space with a creepy little gray tube man.

Probably the funniest part of it all was reading the little "instruction booklet" that came with captain eppi. They stressed in about five languages that this is not a toy but a sensitive piece of lab equipment complete with bendable arms and legs.

Science is a weird industry sometimes. Anyone else still having trouble not seeing Captain Eppi as a toy?

Happy News/Angry Face

Happy News!

While the wedding bee creepy comment™ outcome may have caused my blood pressure to rise a few points I did get one commission out of it all that I think turned out quite nicely.

It was also my first Maggie Sottero dress (which feels like a little pat on the back that I could paint something so intricate, hurray I'm growing).The customer was so happy she even put a post up at her blog: Bless This Nest. I'm never sure if I should include pictures of the real dress with the painting as it feels a bit like an invasion of privacy to me, but she included her own in the post. If you're curious go check them out.

Warm squishes for a job well done. Well it's that or I sat in a brownie again.

*********
ANGRY FACE!

This is something I just have to get off my chest. Those cells I wasted 3 hours getting yesterday? They aren't actually mine. They're for someone elses experiment. Someone who doesn't work in our lab I might add. It was just my job to act as courier and place them in our incubator and that was it. Or so I thought.

This morning he appears, bangs on my office door and demands that I come up to the lab to put the cells in the hood for him. I ask if he has the media already warmed up (very important when changing cells, they like a warm diaper) and get a pit of cold dread in my stomach as he asks "What media? I thought you were going to give me media."

We get up to the lab and I explain that he has to get some RPMI and FBS and then combine them in the right amounts (not to hard but a pain none the less) in a sterile bottle. It's sort of a voodoo cell culture thing, to ward off contamination you do NOT share cell stuff, ever.

I get another exasperated sigh and am told that, well he can order a bottle of RMPI later and it's only like $20 so why don't I just make him some media and change the cells myself because he has something to be at. Fighting down the urge to rip his head off with a centrifuge rotor and because I do have a few cells of my own to feed I just agree to change all the media and get him the hell out of my hair.

What kills me the most is this isn't just some undergrad in over his head, this is a third year PhD student who has no idea how to plan his own experiment. He just expects everyone to hand him everything he needs as soon as he comes calling and to hell with thinking things through. He's had over a month to get it all ready and we're pretty sure he doesn't even have the stain.

Instead of sitting down to plan out and order media, tubes, pipettes and anything else he'd need he just demands we give it to them even though we have nothing to do with the grant.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I refuse to babysit adults. I'm sorry but if the state thinks you are old enough to buy alcohol I am not going to hold your hand while I do your homework for you. You are old enough to do things on your damn own. If you ask nicely I'll show you how once but if you specifically sabotage things thinking I'll come to your rescue you are horribly wrong.

Luckily my boss agrees and there are going to be "discussions" between the two of them on Monday. Hopefully it means I'll be adopting his cells and will plan a much better and well thought out experiment than he ever came up with.

This has not been a good day for my blood pressure. I need something to calm me down.

I know.

There, much better.

Picture a Day - Day 205

I had this great post all planned for today about the wild and wacky adventures of an animal scientist and how it was perfectly normal to stop at a Starbucks to exchange cow blood for cow cells.

I got there a little bit before the designated meeting time (which the cell bringer had stated numerous times, I didn't pick it), scored myself a drink to combat the scorching temps, took a few pictures and settled in with a book to wait.
And wait and wait and wait.

I spent an hour outside not wanting to be that weird person sitting in an interstate starbucks staring out the window while the staff gave me weird looks. My body could only stand the 3 gallon water loss and rather than having people call the cops to bust a mummy I braved sitting inside to wait some more.

In the end the person I was waiting for didn't even get into work til our meeting time and she still had to drive another hour and a half. Did she call me? Oh, of course not. I was just left twiddling my thumbs, not having a clue what was going on and sitting with a cooler full of blood for an hour and a half in the summer sun.

I'm a pushover. I'll bend over backwards (and probably grab at my ankles) to help people (but if you push me too far I'll just break off all contact). I always show up early to a place (or have a small panic attack if I can't) because I hate making people wait. But oh they have no trouble making me sit there in an office or vanishing because they forgot all about an appointment.
I think I'm just gonna go live in a cave and never answer my phone ever again.

Old Friend/New Find

What better way to put the mid 90 sticky weather out of my mind than to focus on two blogs that scream cool autumn breezes.

My Old Friend is Creepy Cupcakes. (And I swear I'll come up with badges just as soon as I find my kitchen table again)Creepy Cupcakes is an awesome place for any Halloween brides or just Halloween fans in general. Carrie is planning a real Halloween wedding for this year (unlike my well it's Halloween themed but we're gonna plan it around a football game and have it on the 18th).

She's got some really awesome pideas for her own wedding, like having a friend recreate Mina's dress from Dracula but in white. And her Save The Dates are to die for (Yes, I made a stupid pun. And if you don't stop me I just might make 50 more).

But what I really love are all the really cool, and to some extent, easy (I cannot be trusted with a glue gun) Halloween crafts and decorating ideas she finds around the web to share.

So if you're looking for some Halloween ideas as fall approaches (It'll be here any minute, right?) go check out Creepy Cupcakes. Or, if for no other reason, you should really see her own wedding ideas. Like something out of a Poe tale. I can't wait to see it come to fruition.

---

Keeping on the Halloween path, and linked from Carrie's blog, I stumbled across Pumpkin Rot.This is a great site for any Halloween aficionados. The purveyor posts a good 3-4 times a day of good Halloween inspiration pictures as well as some neat stuff he finds and cool sites.

He also posts his own props and what not that are works in progress so I can't wait to see what he comes up with when October rolls around.

And this has been my week of Halloween goodies. Maybe this means next week will have to revolve around Thanksgiving. Does anyone know if Butterball has it's own blog? Someone get candied yams on the phone!

Picture a Day - Day 204

Oh where oh where has my living room gone?

Oh where, oh where did it go?

With its two tall lamps and its sinking couch

Oh where oh where can it be?

Etsy Find of the Week - The Occasional Bat

It's almost July and we all know what that means.

ONLY 4 more months til Halloween!

All of you non Halloween fanatics probably think what with the 18 hours of day light, egg frying temperatures and large amounts of swim wear it's a little premature to be dreaming about cool crisp graveyards but well, um, look over there!

Okay I don't have a very good come back but you still have to check out The Occasional Bat.

Look at these adorable Bride and Groom bat pillows:Wedding bats not summery enough for you? Then how about a Mermaid Bat?I'm digging this Flocking Bat. Feels like something out of a cartoon where the bat camouflages itself to blend in with the couch and then attacks when you least expect it.There's even an Easter Bunny Bat:There are birthday bats, flannel PJ bats, and even pirate bats. Go check out The Occasional Bat for all your bat pillow purchases.

And if you think this is gonna be the end of my Halloween obsession you are sadly mistaken.

MwhahahaHAHAHAHAHA!

Picture a Day - Day 203

My husband and I are not the biggest of adventurers. You're probably never going to see us bungee jumping out of anything, no white water rapping (this involves balancing yourself on a boat while busting some rhymes), and no riding wild bull calves.

About the only thing we are adventurous with is food. We'll try just about any cuisine at least once and as soon as something new or different comes out in the grocery store we swoop in to test it out.

I have two that we found to share today.The one on the left is a boring ol' Pepsi can. Or is it? Well obviously it isn't otherwise I wouldn't have brought it up. I just like to be a smart ass sometimes. While we were up at the puppy baptism I spotted some Pepsi Throwback and just had to get a case to satisfy my curiosity.

As you can probably read the Throwback is made from sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup. Pepsi's only been releasing it in certain areas so we hadn't seen it here yet. It's interesting. I'm not a big Pepsi fan (too sweet as I've gotten older) but there is a noticeable lack of an aftertaste that you usually get with regular Pepsi and I can taste the sugar.

It just makes me hope that this is popular enough Coke and Dr. Pepper try it too. I'd much rather get my hands on one of those made out of sugar.

The other product is for anyone out there like my husband who upon looking at an onion has a GI spasm attack but still loves the flavor of those Onion Blossoms so popular about 10 years ago at steak houses.

Again, I'm not the biggest Pringles fan ever, but these things really do remind me of having an Onion Blossom. You get the mix of the batter the onion is dipped in, a little onion, and then some of the horseradish sauce. Since I've been resigned to just about never having one again this is a nice substitute.

So those are my two little newest food stuffs I just felt I should share. Have you found anything new and interesting that you like? Has anyone braved the rather horrifying sounding Strawberry and peanut butter M&M's?

*************
Ooh, big hugs to Megan as today she put up a very nice post about my paintings at Offbeat Bride (I have some major connections, eh?).

Go check it out, hopefully the comments won't veer off into the "creepy" territory. I'm secretly hoping I'll get to do a colored wedding dress. *crosses fingers*

EATING FRUIT will cure all your ills!

My best friend sent me this Forward she got because she knows how much these stupid things entertain the crap out of me. I do my best to just ignore the fact that people (like say my In-laws) would actually believe stuff like this and set to chewing this little thing apart.

And I even dare to do it on a full stomach.

EATING FRUIT .......

Sabrina::Fruit-Texas Ranger.

It's a bit long but very informative

Sabrina::Whenever something tells you it's informative it's lying.

We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits,

Sabrina::Or lifting up the corner of the apple cart while our monkey distracts the owner.

cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not as easy as you think.

Sabrina::There's chewing and stuff too. Can't forget about all that mastication.

It's important to know how and when to eat.

Sabrina::I am pleased to introduce my patented "Eat Whenever the Hell you're Hungry" program. It will teach you just when is the best time to consume foodstuffs to get your stomach to stop making all those annoying noises. Some possibly side effects include satiety, no longer worrying about passing out, and being happy with a full stomach.

What is the correct way of eating fruits?

Sabrina::Can't shove it up your nose. Learned that the hard way.

IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS! *

Sabrina::(Creasote)I can't I'm stuffed.
blablover5::But it's only wafer thin.

FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

Sabrina::They're like male betas and will smack ainto their glass if they can see any other food.

If you eat fruit like that, it will play a major role to detoxify your system,

Sabrina::Fruit is equipped with special scrubbing bubbles to clean all those hard to get colon stains and it won't leave streaks behind.

supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

Sabrina::*Sets apple down carefully* Don't make any sudden moves or it could explode.

FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD.

Sabrina::Better watch your back vegetables and dairy, fruit is gunning for you.

Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit.

Sabrina::We shall dispatch a food cop to your door to teach you how to properly form a sandwich.
blablover5::(food cop)No, no you put meat and vegetables on the bread. Would you stop wrapping an orange in bread. If you don't get that kiwi outta here I'm throwing you into the clink.

The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines,

Sabrina::Because you stupidly had all your sphincters removed on a bet.

but it is prevented from doing so.

Sabrina::By the amazing power of your digestive system. The stomach, it's not just a pretty face. It actually does stuff.

In the meantime the whole meal rots

Sabrina::after you left it behind the furnace for a few weeks.

and ferments and turns to acid.

Sabrina::I don't even know where to begin with how very wrong that is. So I'm just gonna sit here and play with this stick.

The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.

Sabrina::Oh my god! Someone get me a grape, a turkey leg and a camera. I have the best idea for a youtube video!

So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals!

Sabrina::Because fruit isn't really food. It's a mythical magical ambrosia that behaves like antimatter when placed anywhere near real food.

You have heard people complaining

Sabrina::In fact every time they get one of these stupid forwards from you. You should really look into that.

- every time I eat watermelon I burp,

Sabrina::I think you're doing it wrong.

when I eat durian my stomach bloats up,

Sabrina::I had to look up what a Durian is. Sabrina::If I ate that I think my stomach would jump out of my throat and run away.

when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet etc -

Sabrina::Though that has nothing to do with tummy troubles. I just can't wait to crap one out.

actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach.

Sabrina::Because you'll be in such an ecstatic state of bliss from daring to let fruit touch your lips I could wallop you with a 2X4 for three hours and you'll just sit there grinning.

The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!

Sabrina::Maybe if you didn't eat garbage you wouldn't have these problems.

Graying hair, balding,

Sabrina::Well at least the balding should fix the graying hair.

nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes all these will not happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.

Sabrina::Fruit will also cause you to look like you're Scarlett Johnason, cure cancer, balance your tires, and file your taxes.
blablover5::Nervous Outbursts, the newest ritalin flavored candy from Starburst.

There is no such thing as some fruits,

Sabrina::All fruits are actually unicorn tears.

like orange and lemon are acidic,

Sabrina::And it isn't because they contain a higher amount of citric acid but because the mighty goddess of nature and wind decreed that oranges and lemons shall be the food of the gods.

because all fruits become alkaline in our body,

Sabrina::So first you try to tell us that we should consume vast amounts of fruits but then say that it'll turn us into a giant battery. You're not actually Hugo Weaving are you?

according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter.

Sabrina::And by research I mean we got him drunk one Sunday and he just said "Shit, you can claim anything you want if you just give me another shot of Jack."

If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the Secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

Sabrina::Also you will never have to poop again, your house will be lemony fresh all the time, and you will be an instant billionaire.

When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice,

Sabrina::But whatever you do run screaming from carrot or tomato juice. That's the gateway drug to hell.

NOT from the cans.

Sabrina::So bottles are okay then?
blablover5::Hell after all this, I'm just gonna drink Tang.

Don't even drink juice that has been heated up.

Sabrina::Because all that acid seeping out of the warm juice could combine with some old crumbs on the counter causing a horrible explosion.

Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste. Cooking destroys all the vitamins.

Sabrina::That sound you just heard was my Food Scientist Husband's head exploding.

But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly,

Sabrina::Damn, I figured you were gonna suggest we snort it that way our evil digestive tract doesn't get its dangerous acids involved with fruit's pure goodness.

because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.

Sabrina::Oh so Saliva is the magical elixer. Quick someone sell it on eBay. Op too late.

You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body.

Sabrina::You'll also get to spend all three days camped out in the bathroom but you'd be too weak to actually do anything anyway so it works out.

Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look!

Sabrina::As you dry heave on the emergency nurses shoes.

Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! Can you believe this??

Sabrina::I'm gonna go the sane oncologist route and say no. But you just go ahead with your fear mongering. It keeps me entertained while I work on my rubix cube.

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you..

Sabrina::Or those who love crack pot ideas. Ooh I got all the reds together.

It is nice t o have a cup of cold drink after a meal.

Sabrina::Try our latest innovation COLD DRINK! It'll take the world by storm.

However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed.

Sabrina::Assuming you moved on from the rotting garbage to sucking down the used oil from the deep fryer.

It will slow down the digestion.

Sabrina::Which you want because we all know that nothing good comes from your GI tract. Damn, I lost a blue one.

Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food.

Sabrina:And we all know absorption is terrible for you. Why would you want to absorb proteins vitamins and sugar into your system? That turns you into a living person and those are all gross.

It will line the intestine.

Sabrina::With newspaper?

Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer.

Sabrina::So just how drunk did you have to get Dr. Sherbart to get that out of him? Get the Guiness people, you must have set a record for shots consumed.
blablover5::The jumps in logic are so astronomical we'll have to call in the hubble to measure it.

It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

Sabrina::But what about the fruit? Damn it I have a palette of kiwi and that creepy duran duran to move so you better get back to the magical fruit or I'll be breaking some thumbs.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail and sends it to 10 people,

Sabrina::people will start hoarding fruit so his stock in Del Monte will go through the roof.

you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

Sabrina::Anyone else think this was cobbled together by a couple of potatoes an ear of corn and a pig? Must just be me.

Read this...It could save your life!!

Sabrina::Or turn you into a very dark and depressing person who leeches weird acids and runs screaming from cold water.

Sabrina::And this is why we never open anything with FWD in the subject line. Ah screw this, I'm just gonna pull the stickers off.

Picture a Day - Day 202

We had to leave the puppies all cuddled up to their Mom to head out for a function. It was a little hard to say goodbye but as soon as everyone was either eatingor sleeping we made our exit

For a baptism:The star of the show didn't really care too much about what was going on. He got a little mad when his pacifer hit the floor, otherwise the middle of a church service seemed the best time to sleep.

His older brother was by far more entertaining. There was a wedding the night before at the church and they left behind bubbles and corn in tulle (only in small town Nebraska). During children's time the kids all got to go up and pick one or the other so big brother came back and sat by us with his corn and a seashell (I'm sure he can't wait to get married so he can have corn and seashells at his wedding).

Then during communion we drew a car with a chimney on the roof and he pointed out all of his family members as they walked by and he told us all his plans with his corn. After church, we all headed to his grandma's where he impressed us with his bush trimming skills using only a weed whacker. We had to scram early and missed out on ice cream cake because laundry and grocery shopping were waiting for us back at home.

I'll leave you now with images of the Nebraska landscape (because it's probably nicer than just leaving you with nothing).It was interesting attending a Lutheran service as aside from some kneeling and secret handshakes it was basically a watered down catholic mass. Have you attended a lot of other religious services or other christian denominations?

It's funny but nothing really freaked me out more than the interdenominational one that was kinda methodist but also a few others mixed in. I think it's because it was familiar but there were still a few things off like trying to find your keys in your house when someone moved a chair as opposed to when a toddler came through. When I go to mass I know it's going to be completely different so I just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Men are from Earth and so are Women

Sorry to distract from the adorableness of little wigglies but I came across this article that thoughtfully states what I've been trying to grapple with and explain more and more.

It seems like society wants to pit one sex against the other. Little boys get blue and trucks, little girls pink and dolls. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Men and Women fight it out in a battle of the sexes.

It's all a bunch of hooey. The media would try to have you believe men and women are more like a butterfly to an ox instead of two sides to the same coin from one species and it's this constant battle this need to divide men and women up that hurts both sides.

Jackson Katz sums it up in his book, The Macho Paradox: "When we ask men to reject sexism … we are not taking something away from them. In fact, we are giving them something very valuable -- a vision of manhood that does not depend on putting down others in order to lift itself up."

When men and women are pitted against each other then everyone loses.

Well enough of that, back to cute pictures of puppies. I think this little girl might be my favorite.

Picture a Day - Day 201

CUTE PUPPIES!

Sorry, you probably want a little context with your pictures today. Ahem, let me try again.

FIVE DAY OLD PUPPIES ARE DAMN CUTE!They're cute when you hold them in your hands and they look like little bear cubs.They're really cute when they snuggle in your lap for a little nap (check out the little white spot on her chin).They're really cute when they snuggle next to Mom's big paws and you just can't believe that something so small will in a year turn into something so big:
But they're really adorable when they're all tuckered out and sleeping:It's amazing how easily you can spend an entire day just watching as they sleep, wiggle in their dream and fight for some food (and how tiring it can be). Even at this age they've already got a few personalities. One of the yellow's is the piggie of the group, eating a good two to three times more than his siblings. And the black male takes no guff from anybody. When he wants food, he'll complain and knock all his siblings out of the way.

My husband was more enthralled with them than I think even I was. It was so cute how he'd pick one up and snuggle it on his chest and the pup would be out like a light. Somehow he has the gift to put any baby to sleep almost instantaneously. For never growing up with a pet he's sure taken to animals quickly and they always love him as well.

Cali's a good mommy too, watching us whenever we took a puppy out but not making too big a fuss, just waiting for when we add them back in. All those little helpless bodies just kicks in maternal instincts like crazy for everyone. I really have no idea how anyone could ever hurt something like that.

I took about 40 more pictures of all the puppies being cute but sadly they just couldn't all fit into a post.

Wait! I know.

*Sigh* Looking at them again make me wish we could go right back, but sadly there's all this house business still. The next time we see them they'll have sharp pointy teeth and mom will probably want to be rid of them. But they're even cuter then.

PUPPIES!

Picture a Day - Day 200

Do you know what day this is?

Yes yes, it's Father's day but it's also something else.

I'm only 165 days away from being finished with my picture a day project. I can't believe that I've lasted this long, really. 200 days straight of posting and sharing pictures. There were a few times when I couldn't think of anything interesting but I kept trucking along.

Sadly today's picture won't be anything too exciting as I'm busy playing with puppies and babies but here's picture 200 with a little editing added to make it seem all fancy (and like a watercolor painting):Happy Father's Day everyone.

And also Happy 200! I think I'm gonna run around saying that to everyone at the baptism. It'll make things more interesting.

Happy 200!

Picture a Day - Day 199

About, oh, 2 months or so ago as spring was beginning to sneak up on us and tempt us with a few warm days I got it into my head that I needed to plant something new for our few pots.

The wild flowers in the window box took off like crazy, the tomatoes are finally beginning to flower but one pot remained strangely empty. I just shrugged it off to not planting and then bringing the pot inside to help it out and ignored the poor barren thing every week saying I really should re-plant but then forgetting.

Fast forward to yesterday and as I'm cleaning out the grill I notice something rather strange.Sprouts. And not just random sprouts of wild seeds that blew in. It's actually what I planted, oregano on one side and dill on the other.

I guess this is some sort of magical time traveling pot (though not the kind most people get excited about). Quick, someone give me a cow that I can trade for a few beans. I gotta try something out.

Oh and once I'm done with this post we're off to play with cute newborn puppies and a newborn baby. There's got to be a joke in the fact that I'm going to see two new moms on father's day but I just can't find it.

Have a happy weekend everyone, anyway.

I tweet, you tweet, we all tweet for tweetcream

I find more and more people linking to my website and stumbling onto my Etsy store through it, so I finally decided to break down and give in to the pressure.

Yep, I created my own Twitter Account: Introverted Wife

I've just started to mess around with it, so I have no idea what I'm doing and there's a very good chance I could set something on fire. But if your curious some of the stuff that flits through my brain or just how infuriating the painting customization process can be sometime check it out.

If you're on Twitter too please leave a comment so I can have someone other than Neil Gaiman to follow (I am stalking him on the assumption that there is actually a factory pumping out Neil Gaiman clones that will soon take over the world. It's the only explanation for his oceanic library of work.)

What if I promised a free ice cream cone to the 100th follower? How about a painting of a free ice cream cone?

Picture a Day - Day 198

Every now and again I get the chance to drive about two hours away to pick up some cells for an experiment (we call the experiment killing off macrophages, can we do it faster). It's pretty exciting to break out of the soul sucking dark dungeon of a lab (especially when it's feed the monster day, they always make such a mess out of their fish heads).

And because it's a university they'd much rather I rent one of their cars than just use my own and get reimbursed (bureaucrats, making the world complicated one breath at a time). Which provides a fascinating comedy of errors every time when I get into a different car and have to figure out just where the hell everything is.
To make matters even more complicated I've driven Ford's my whole life, so getting behind a Chevy is a bit of a shock to the system. I fiddled with what I thought was the volume on the radio for a few minutes before I realized that the little knob was actually in charge of skipping on CD's and what I wanted was the huge knob in the middle.

But once I figure out the magical trick to the cruise control (hopefully not while riding behind a truck cruising at 60 mph on the interstate) I crank up my music and I'm happily on my way.

When my husband and I suffered the dark years of our dating life we lived about 3 and a half hours apart. So I got to know and learn the Interstate driving quite well. I'd usually plan the 3 hours of boredom by grabbing a favorite caffeinated beverage and selecting a CD or two that I can sing my head off to.And because I am singing non stop for 3 hours or so, every time I arrive somewhere after a long drive I'm all but mute having wrung my voice box hoarse. Which provides for an interesting reunion *croak* *cough* Water!

I'll still take an empty car on a lonely highway over the cliched shower stall for my operatic debut though.

What do you do to pass the time on long lonely car drives? Do you prefer back highways to interstate driving? I've always loved seeing something of the state as opposed to one long winding road filled with truckers and RV's (the exception is Iowa though. I once drove across the entire state on one highway and was about to go out of my mind from boredom).

And if you see some strange person singing and gesturing wildly in their car feel free to join along.

Old Friend/New Find

Hurray! I made it and I am actually free on Thursday for once. Time for our second rendition of Old Friend/New Find where I highlight blogs I love and new ones I've just discovered.

For my Old Friend (I should make badges or something) I picked none other than Rachel at Girl Learning Along the Way.

I think this also marks the third day in a row I've linked to her, so round of applause for all the linkage. It's some kind of wild record.

Rachel's blog has some great tips and ideas for any fledgling decorators out there as that's her actual day job. She's got posts on great inspiration for rooms and some neat finds and rugs she sees on the job.

She's also incredibly sweet and has a rambunctious pack of painting loving pooches. So if you haven't already on Tuesday or yesterday head over to Girl Learning Along the Way right this very second!

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My new Find of the week is also a dog lover, a black lab lover:

Black Labs and Lilly

She's an East Coaster that loves Lilly P and her doggie Mugz. It's a delightful mix of girly pastels and clothing finds and manly big dog joys and play time. Just a nice way to break through all those stereotypes that only macho guys named Roscoe have big dogs.

Check out Black Labs and Lilly if you love bright light clothes or cute black doggies.

Now I should really get to work on those badges. Hm, maybe if I put a cute little drawing for each one. Would you like one of my badges?

Picture a Day - Day 197

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I got a package!

I got my own little piece of mail waiting for me in the main office. I can't wait to see what it is!What the hell is it? Did I just get a giant Toblerone bar? Quick, some check to see if it's free giant Toblerone day.

I know. I'll just open it up, that should tell me what's inside.

*head scratch* This just raises further questions:Maybe there's some instructions inside the roll. Hello! Is anyone in there?This is probably the point when I'd be all cute and ask what you think it is then post the answer tomorrow but this thing is gonna sit in its little Toblerone carrying case for about a month or so.

And we're not taking it out to play with because it's a wall decal from Circle Line Studio:While we were out perusing the hordes of paint samples we got to talking about what we were going to do with the other bathroom. We have a pretty good idea what to do with the main after removing all the garish wall paper.

And while flipping through an expose on how paint samples can use artists names (there was even one called painter's tape, shesh) my husband dared to voice his idea. We're going to turn the basement bathroom into a sort of forest. We haven't worked all the details and ideas out yet, but this little tree will look great in there.

We're both very lucky that we pretty much have the exact same taste and tend to arrive at the same decision right away, but it's funny how many people just assume I'll be making all the decisions when it comes to decor. As though my husband can't pick a paint color or have an idea all his own.

But when it comes to levels of decoration talent we're both at about the same level, somewhere just around senior year of college when you start to get tired of all the milk crates but there are still a few cool posters you own and you're not afraid to tape stuff to the paint.

Has anyone else run into people just assuming that much like the wedding since you're the woman you will be making every single decision when it comes to a home? Or your S/O gets sympathetic glances because they think soon all of his stuff will be tossed into the river? Because we all know men can't be trusted to chose colors because they'll just act like little kids and want the most vibrant one imaginable, right.