Watching You

The big day is, let me see, carry the one . . . what's the derivative of pi? . . . about five months away.

And just what big day is this? I have no wedding to plan then give up on, no bun being baked as it were. Why Halloween of course. Really what else would my husband and I be counting down the months too?

We went through a bit of a malaise during winter, not having too many projects grab us by the ankles and try to drag us to hell. There was one point when I made the fairy, another when we created some specimen jars; but so far it's just been a combination of "we have months til we have to think about it" and "what do you want to do?"

But then our Halloween club (did I mention that we're in a Halloween club? Yes I think I finally have the "Biggest dork of the year" award in the bag this time) had a meeting to work on making fake stone masonry out of foam and our creativity was sprung anew.

Last year we hit up the after Halloween sales and snagged a few masks on the discount pile we had some ideas for.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The first project I tackled was to create eyeballs using nothing more than some paint, epoxy, and a roller ball out of deodorant.

You know it's surprisingly hard to find roll on deodorant anymore. I guess it just isn't cool enough. I remember in highschool when all the kids wore roller deodorant on their necks and made someone guess what scent it was. Or did I dream all that?

Here's the link where I found this awesome technique. It was pretty simple, I did it in a half hour while listening to Belgian Bill Corbett on Red Nose Net and I must say I'm rather impressed with how they turned out.

This is before the epoxy to make it look shiny and wet which really brought it together. But for being completely home made from a roller ball it looks pretty cool.

Now for the other half of my plan that didn't just crash and burn it took down a few cannibalistic soccer teams while at it.

The plan with the mask was pretty simple, you tape up the back and any big holes then fill it with *dun dun DUUNNN* spray insulation foam.

This is where you gasp in horror and maybe someone in a tight corset passes out.

Spray Insulation Foam and I do not have a good history. There was this craft plan involving it and feet which then lead to panic, screaming, an impromptu haircut and us huddled over in the Wal-Mart parking lot coating our hands in carb cleaner to get that sticky goo off our hands.

But I'm much older and wiser now. I came prepared. I realized the only way the mask would keep its shape while the foam did its job was to hang it off the line. Good way to make sure the neighbors never talk to you as well.

Then, sliding a box beneath it and slapping on the work gloves, I broke out the bottle.

At first it was okay, no major leaks or cursing. But I fear I got a bit too greedy.

Because while the bottom part of the mask dried, harden and took on a lopsided look the top of the head didn't. It stayed squishy no matter how long I let it hang there.

Then the dumb ideas pounced on my brain singing that sweet song of madness. I started to fill the nose and mouth with foam in the hope it'd get to the bottom half and fill in some holes.

As you can about imagine this created a giant mess as foam snaked out of the open orifices landing all over the place. I may or may not have swore openly at the head, threatening it with an arc welder.

Eventually I accepted defeat and well it's supposed to look like a science experiment gone horribly wrong so why not just embrace the lumpy skull and the super wide cheekbones.

I added the eyeballs and then painted all the foam residue on the mouth and nose red so it'd actually look a bit less disturbing than the yellow pus hue it had before.

And that was what I did on my weekend.

Now we all know, never ever ask me what I do in my spare time. It'll disturb you for years to come. Have fun in therapy.