Gift Guide, for the discerning shopper

Black Friday is coming! Black Friday is coming!

Anyone who tries to pawn anyone off on someone else from monetary gain knows that we only have a few days to tell everyone what they must purchase for their own close kith and kin and also make sure to only stock half of it to drive up prices.

So I thought what better way then to present my own Gift Guide, all courtesy of Etsy. Today I did a little slogging through what they claim is the Geekery section though there's about 1 and 1/2 things here that I'd consider geeky.

1. For Mom - Like a mother's free time the cicada only appears once every 14 years and what better way to celebrate that than with this brooch? I can already picture Christmas morning as she unwraps her present from you and screams before pulling out a frying pan and smashing it to bits.
2. For Dad - If you have a Dad with narcolepsy or one that you feel just sleeps too much gift him this Cheshire Cat inspired wallet. You may want to throw a pair of ear plugs in for Mom so she can sleep through the inevitable night terrors and screams every time he goes to dig out his wallet.
3. For Your Pregnant Sister- Because there's nothing a pregnant woman wants to see more than the disembodied head of a child that was cracked open so a small pot of fake grass could be shoved inside its brain.
4. For Grandma - I'd like to think this one is completely self explanatory. What old lady doesn't want a throw pillow in her parlor of a set of breasts complete with nipples from a baby's bottle?
5. For a Teacher - She can use it to teach the children that "Everyone Poops" but not everyone's poop comes in spurs and is clearly dead. Works best for High school or college professors.
6. For Nephew - If his parents have been talking about getting him the latest Pokemon game/movie it is your God given duty to get him this picture so every time he looks at it he'll be reminded that the path of Pokemon is the path of a soulless existence to hell.

7. For a teenage - They will be the talk of the school when they wear this bright pink shark to school strapped securely to their head. Extra points if you can get one to match their prom dress and insist they take pictures wearing it.
8. For anyone else - Who wouldn't kill for a jellyfish vomiting up its latest dinner? Or maybe it's giving birth after slamming a bag of skittles. Regardless, everyone will love you for bringing this joy into their life.
If you follow my gift suggestions there is a very good chance your friends and family will never talk to you again and you won't have to buy them another present next year.

My First Two Pendants

Sorry that posting has been a bit sparse and random so far this week.

The puppy and I are still feeling out "Okay if I sit in my office at the computer will the puppy stay in the living room napping or sit at my feet whining the whole time because she doesn't like being in here?"

Plus the whole getting sick thing. That's always a bit of a bummer.

But earlier this week I did get a chance to list two pendants I made this weekend. And I finally feel well (and the puppy satiated) enough to share.

This was the first one (which you'd already seen before):Which actually sold in under 10 minutes.

Good thing I had a second one to put up. So this is my first big foray into jewelry. A simple tree pendant that's hand painted and only costs $5.I really like making them and have a few more waiting in the wings. Some I'll sell and some I'm thinking will be part of a Thank You for people who purchase larger paintings.

If you'd like this Tree with blue background you can go here to check out the rest of the details.

What do you think?

Etsy Gift Guides Explained

Hello Etsian Shoppers.

The season of shopping is nearly upon us so I thought I'd take a little time to explain something about everyone's much beloved (or occasionally tolerated) purveyor of (sometimes) handmade and (things from the 90's count, right?) vintage.

If you travel to Etsy you may see up in the top left corner what you think is all your answers to what to pick for Bobby, Joey and little T-rex (hippie parents) for the holidays: a gift guide.

But have you ever wondered just how those guides are picked? Was there a mass marketing experiment to decide just what is "hot" and "hip" this year. Maybe some surveys to see what people are looking for in this ever changing world? What's the most wanted toy of the season? Just who the hell needs a terrarium cowl?

I have a few theories that I'd like to test out as to how those gift guides are formed.

1. Some very bored high school interns type the dirtiest words into the search engine and just select the first 30 things they find hoping it'll get onto Regretsy.

2. Etsy is actually run by the keyboard playing cat and he has a major hankering for string beards, cowls to keep his little face warm, spats for the elegant cat trips to town and a chance to romp in a terrarium.

3. Gift Guides are actually formed from a time warp in the space time continuum. In 100 years we'll all be slightly beige creatures afraid of colors stumbling around without fingers for our fingerless gloves holding fake mustaches up to our lips while someone tells us to Keep Calm and Carry On.

It has to be one of those three options, because how else do you explain a HALLOWEEN DECOR guide where the front page looks like this:
In case you missed it. Here's a little close up. "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn't belong."
A cake topper? For Halloween? A simple white beach destination nondescript cake topper mixed in with black pumpkins and wooden witch signs?

This is why I really hope it's the cat or bored teenager theories.

Because to think that someone just lazily selected random things from their handful of favorite shops for every single gift guide ensuring these select few shops get tons of free advertising while people who actually create things that would oh, I don't know, "FIT IN THE CATEGORY!" get jack shit for the same money they spend.

There's no way people could possibly be that lazy.

So unless you're purchasing for a moss eating cat or a fingerless alien from the future it might be for the best to just skip the Etsy Gift Guides for the Holidays and rely on some dull old Search Engineering.

Etsy Find of the Week - Sammis 2 Shoes

Christmas is coming. Okay so I'm a bit more focused right now on another holiday due round about this Saturday. You may have heard of it, lots of candy and scary stuff. Strange creatures go bump in the night.

Yep, Willy Wonka's birthday. I celebrate by dressing in the most elaborately horrifying outfit and forcing people onto boats while they watch clips of beady eyes and chicken mutilation.

But at the back of my mind is the niggling reminder that Christmas is coming and soon presents will be purchased and exchanged while one tries to avoid the large amount of precipitation outside. So I shall be aligning my Etsy Finds with the gift giver in mind.

For this week it's Sammis 2 Shoes, the perfect shop for any big green recyclers you have in your life.

If they still need a few totes for shopping but want something a bit more special, there are a few priced at $6 with cool designs on them.
For the green writer/jotter/note taker/strange person who draws skeletons in their spare time there are an interesting and wide array of reupholstered (as it were) 100% recycled notebooks.
Of course I love the doggies, but if your gift receiver is not so canine inclined there is a wide array of options like this plant life journal.
But my favorite are some of her repurposed old cigar boxes. How cute is this?
I love the slide mechanism as opposed to hinges and at only $8, it'd make not just a nice present but a nice way to present and even nicer present.

If you're looking for something green and with simple and cute designs for your journaler/shopper/jewelry container, check out Sammis 2 Shoes.

Welcome to the nut house, may I offer you a cracker?

We can rebuild it. We have the Technology. We have the capability to repaint a wedding the mailmen decided to smash into tiny pieces.

Okay Post Office, while I am still mad face at you deciding to puncture one of my paintings with all those knives you juggle in your spare time I am happy to announce that the wedding dress is back and better than ever.But you don't want to make me angry again. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I might passive aggressively give you a funny look every time you walk past me on the street. Yeah, how you like them apples?

There's more to this post than just a re update on a wedding dress. After watching the Etsy dramaz unfold I've decided to open up a shop at a place that actually tries to only be Handmade.

It's a bit smaller but still has a nice list of shops and from what I've seen no obvious major resellers or tons of crap to wade through to find cool things.

I'd be ever so happy if you'd check out Introverted Painting at 1000 Markets. There's even a wall apparently so you can leave me lots of weird messages, maybe from some happy customers *hint* *hint* *hint*

I only have a couple of listings up right now, but give me a week and I'll have it all moved over there as well.

Has anyone else had any experience with 1000 Markets? What was your impression of it?

Etsy Find of the Week - April Draven

When I got into this wild and wacky painting thing my poor husband just had no idea what to do with his time.

I kept tossing out a few hobby ideas including him getting into sewing (He has a ton of old souvenir t-shirts he wants to keep. I suggested that they'd make a neat quilt) as unlike me he has a modicum of talent at keeping thread from tangling and is able to cut straight lines.

Since getting the puppy all searches to find a way to eat up time have flown out the window. I'm pretty sure he's made the puppy his hobby now anyway, sitting on the floor watching to make sure she really truly is going to stay asleep this time and won't even sort of get an opportunity to be naughty.

Thanks to these cool patterns from April Draven, whenever he's getting a little tired of spending all hours playing with the puppy I think I found a new opportunity for him.How adorable is this dragon? For less than $9 you get the pattern to spend hours crafting a nice sized dragon toy just perfect for any dragon aficionados.
If you're not so big into the dragon, there's also this adorable little kitty that is a much smaller and less complicated pattern.
Okay so I'm really just pulled in by the heart achingly cute dragons. How can you not fall for this little dragon whelp?
Might be a good starter pattern.

If you're looking for a crochet pattern that's awesome cute check out April Draven.

Meanwhile my husband is gonna keep looking for something to accomplish instead of trying for the largest number of puppy bite and claw marks a person has sustained. There was also that "trying to pull all the weeds out of the garden" hobby but Essie likes to help a bit too much with that one.

Etsy Find of the Week - JooJoo Land

Fall is officially here *hides calendar that proudly displays we still have 6 days til Labor Day* No really, I swear. The cool weather, the scent of burning fireplaces, the already falling leaves. Fall is here.

And I was thinking I could use nothing more than a warm cozy Etsy shop bathed in fall yellows, oranges and reds. Well at least I thought I did.

In my usual Etsy troll to find some uncelebrated shops I came across JooJoo Land and these adorable acorns.As I dug deeper I fell for these whimsical and adorable little creatures who inhabit JooJoo Land called jelly monsters. (Is that little baby pink one not the cutest thing you've ever seen?)
She also has some lovely jewelry selections like these strawberry earrings.
Or this sweet little bunny pendant.
What can I say, I'm easily pulled in by color and whimsy and these little snail magnets deliver on all accounts.
There are so many more adorable pieces and even more cute Jelly Monsters.

Head on over to JooJoo Land and check out her adorable art. It's the perfect balm to any stressful week.

Etsy Find of the Week - Kermit Biggs Design

This weeks Etsy find comes to us courtesy of Kermit Biggs Design (this is my way of pretending that I didn't abandon this project a month ago and am just getting back to it).

Who doesn't love a little bit of art in an unexpected place? Kleenex and Febreeze are banking on it (still waiting for a Vera Wang air freshener and facial tissue box duo). But how about a piece of art that is also actually useful while you look at it (as opposed to something your dog chews on).

Check out these cool glass cutting boards.It is a little pricey at $38 a pop, but I love the retro bamboo feel for this green one.
Or for any other blue lovers out there like myself, how about a sky impression you can stare at while slicing up oranges (note staring at pretty cutting board while chopping up produce could lead to a trip to the emergency room, stare at your discretion).
Looking for something different and neat while you slave away in the kitchen (or just microwave up some Ramen), check out Kermit Biggs Design.

Etsy Find of the Week - Natures Reflections

After a month of not knowing if I was coming, going, or possibly turned inside out it's nice to get back to a somewhat normal schedule.

I've been perusing Etsy once again trying to find hidden treasures and came across some wonderful nature inspired photos just waiting to decorate someones walls. Allow me to introduce Nature's Reflections:
What I really love is that unlike a lot of other photogs, each 8X10 is only $20. For once I don't feel bad for charging less for an 8X10 painting than most people charge for a print.
If you thought the landscapes were gorgeous check out this hungry tiger. I wouldn't recommend putting it in a nursery unless you want your kids to grow up to be zoo keepers.
My favorite by far is of the plucky little sea turtle with the vibrant blue.
If there were any of baby sea turtles I'd be all over that as my husband is quite smitten with those little bodies with giant flippers trying to make their way to the ocean.

There are some other wonderful pictures of nature including a bee and a froggie, so head on over to Nature's Reflections if you're looking for something out of national geographic to grace your walls.

Etsy Find of the Week - Loveable Treasures

Sometimes you just don't care about being practical or economical.

Sometimes you just want to look at really cute and funny things and savor life for a few minutes.

In comes Loveable Treasures and her Roly Poly's:
How cute is that little piggie with his black ear? Not so big into farm life? What about a koala.Or an adorable little monkey in his own forest.
Each of these come with their own habitats and are completely movable so you can play with them and place them however you want.

Like say have your skunk standing in the river.
Or the robin out of her nest pulling up some worms.But my favorite by far is the little mole. Because even moles deserve a little love in figurine form.
If you want any cute Roly Poly animal figurines go check out Loveable Treasures.

Oh Lover Bird

This whole moving/loan/insurance stuff has drained me dry of any energy I once had (and I refuse to think of the dreaded wedding). So if I don't comment on the blogs I normally religiously do, don't worry, I'll be back when we finally get all this mess figured out.

My painting has also hit a big wall. The angel in the forest is staring back at me with a sky and forest ground and nothing else. I did, this past weekend, have a little something I wanted to do.

It's just another continuation in my birds in silhouette in trees series, but they look pretty damn lovable:I'm not really expecting any bites, but I had to do something just to keep from going insane.

I did have one neat idea this morning laying in bed an hour before the alarm went off. We were re gifted a set of coasters my husband's sister didn't want (not klassy enough I guess) that you put a picture in.

They've been sitting on top of our bookcase for over a year as I was originally going to use wedding pictures, and never got the gumption to pick pictures or print them off. But then I thought, ooh what if I made little tree paintings and put them in there to match the big living room painting.

If I get to it anytime soon, I'll share pictures. Maybe even try selling them as well assuming it turns out well.

Sorry, I'm babbling again. To sum up, I'm tired. Yay pretty birdies. Might have weird coaster idea. Never going to finish angel at this rate. Maybe I just offer to paint a cat. Anyone want a blue cat? Not a big fan of shipping box though. No idea how Schrödinger couldn't figure out if cat alive or dead. Evil hissing and scratching dead giveaway.

Etsy Find of the Week - Fairchildart

I am an interesting study in contradictions (I'd try and list them all here but it'd take me a few hours and I don't think you all care that much) and while I am not big into doll houses and dolls really creep me out I love looking at doll house miniatures.

It's the amazing skill and talent to take something you see every day and shrink it down.

So while perusing Etsy hunting for some neat possibly Halloween miniatures I came across Fairchildart and was blown away by the skill in her food creations.

Look at those chips. They even look slightly translucent as if you touched them you'd have to wipe some of the grease away.
A breakfast fit for a king. The little tomato is great, and even though I hate baked beans they look ready to be gobbled up.
A stuffed crust pizza for those late night munchies when Barbie has a slumber party.
This looks like the salad we had last night.
A hamburger platter with some fingers to show just how tiny these really are.
The craftsmanship just blows me away. I'm secretly hoping as October gets closer she'll do some Halloween stuff because it'd be awesome to include one of those pieces in our little Halloween town.

If you're looking for any dollhouse food (or know someone who does) you have to see the cool stuff at Fairchildart. The shop also has some earrings and pendants made from her food sculptures.

Etsy Find of the Week - The Occasional Bat

It's almost July and we all know what that means.

ONLY 4 more months til Halloween!

All of you non Halloween fanatics probably think what with the 18 hours of day light, egg frying temperatures and large amounts of swim wear it's a little premature to be dreaming about cool crisp graveyards but well, um, look over there!

Okay I don't have a very good come back but you still have to check out The Occasional Bat.

Look at these adorable Bride and Groom bat pillows:Wedding bats not summery enough for you? Then how about a Mermaid Bat?I'm digging this Flocking Bat. Feels like something out of a cartoon where the bat camouflages itself to blend in with the couch and then attacks when you least expect it.There's even an Easter Bunny Bat:There are birthday bats, flannel PJ bats, and even pirate bats. Go check out The Occasional Bat for all your bat pillow purchases.

And if you think this is gonna be the end of my Halloween obsession you are sadly mistaken.

MwhahahaHAHAHAHAHA!