A number 3, hold the cummerbund

Aside from the whole standing while peeing thing (really, who wouldn't rather sit down?) guys generally have it easier. This is doubly so when it comes to wedding attire.

After some price checking as well as green comparing (how can green be either a lovely color or super ugly?) we finally decided on a store to rent our tuxes from. It seems just about any place will let you send in measurements for guys out of town so that wasn't a big deal. But as we flipped through the big book o' tuxedos we found that there were so many options we may as well go with them. Every place seemed to run about the same (over $100/ with four purchases get the grooms free and an ice cream cone).

So then we started filling out the dreaded sheet. First up the vest options (we never thought cummerbund as no one is in the glee club). There were a good handful of not only colors but different patterns and zig zags. Luckily my guy had already decided he wanted the nice emerald green and the groomsmen were getting clover. To go with the tux you then had to choose either a tie or a bow tie to match. I personally nixed the bow tie cause I say it only works if you have a black or white vest. Any colored bow ties make it look like you work at a casino.

The other big issue that we'd decided was the obvious suit cut thing (I know nada about guys clothes). We'd both decided there was no way we were going white (we're a messy couple), so after that it was up to my guy. He wanted a large lapel so it looked more like a suit coat and just two buttons to show off the sexy vests (basically it's the James Bond Tux).

After that we figured oh that has to be about it, but suddenly she asked about the shirt (color, fabric) as well as the shirt's collar (some weird wing tip thing or it sits down). We were both so blindsided I think he got himself a purple shirt with dinosaurs on it. Then we had to pick out some shoes (which I really don't understand, are we going bowling after the wedding?) as well as cuff links.

Going tux shopping has made me wonder if it'd be possible for us to change women's dresses to have a more check list approach. Let's see I'd like an empire waist, hold the beading, with a V neck and a 2 foot long train. No I wouldn't like shoes or jewelry with that. Yeah, I'll pull through to the next window.

I swear we have money

Contrary to all those Oil of Olay commercials it really sucks when you look young. When I was 20 I looked like a teenager and people would watch me like a hawk if I went shopping anywhere without a gaggle of friends around me. Apparently I just scream shoplifter. (I am screwed too, as my mother can fool people into thinking she's just 20 if she's wearing sunglasses.)

Now that I'm almost 25 I can pull off college aged on a good day, but that means doing any wedding shopping is a pain in the ass as all those wonderful sales clerks on commission assume I have no money. I knew it'd be bad so I specifically took my mother with me when we went dress shopping so they wouldn't give us the shaft.

Well today I thought, hey before we head off to a family reunion (I really don't want to go) lets try and get some information on tuxes. A while ago my fiance decided that he wanted to wear a tux, and because his side would all be from Chicago we'd need to make sure we can send in the measurements or that they'd have a store there or something.

Plus he wants to wear green vests, and frankly all the ones I've seen looked like crap in pictures and we wanted to see them in real life.

So around noonish today we wandered into Men's Warehouse where we were greeted with a sign telling us to sign something if we wanted anything to do with a tux. Randomly a man came out and told us that all the tux guys were busy but it would just be 5 minutes so please fill out a super lengthy information sheet so we can stalk you later (I can see why they are affiliated with David's Bridal).

Well we didn't fall for that crap, we weren't going to buy anything that day and just had a few questions. It'd take a minute or two, tops. As we weren't in a big hurry we figured we'd sit down and wait.

Cue the hordes of masses coming and going to pick up tuxes, get fitted for tuxes, and plan their tuxes for weddings. Meanwhile we were completely ignored. After about the third round of this we got fed up and just left.

We stopped to get some paper towels (they have information on them like how to clean out a coffee pot, quite strange really) and heading back caught a smaller shop and stopped in. The women were quite nice, showed us where all their stores were located, gave us some price information, and also showed us the green vest options.

Thanks to my "wonderful" youthful looks I have been able to discern better who is actually nice and helpful and who is just in it for the paycheck. It's a crappy way to live, but I refuse to shop anywhere that treats me like crap just based on my looks.