Engrish as a second language

I've only googled my own name once or twice, but googling my web username and "introverted wife" I've done more times than I care to count. Usually it's just a way to find what all I've gotten up to but last night I stumbled across the strangest thing I ever imagined.

A blog called Pixar Shorts which copied my own blog post back from June 15th.
At first I only glanced catching a few words here and there. Then the constant use of the word Goliath confused me as I don't remember talking about getting slight shot.

Then I read the opening paragraph and was even more lost as I don't remember getting a serious concussion and then writing a blog post:

There are a defective perks to working in a lab. You can non-specifically light your own hours, lots of tiring ice to be played with, if there’s a employment accompany you won’t be given to upset attached at over getting any rags or go out on the city shirts, oh and all the boxes.

Wow, it's a wonder I have any readers at all if I can't form an even somewhat competent sentence. But then I looked back through my archives and realized that what I really said was this

There are a few perks to working in a lab. You can generally set your own hours, lots of dry ice to be played with, if there's a trade show you won't have to worry about getting any rags or paint shirts, oh and all the boxes.

Then I started getting the giggles as I compared and contrasted what my actual post said compared to the strange temporal distortion of a few babelfish translations.

Normal post:

There's something almost diabolical about putting our dishes in a box with a giant hazardous sticker slapped on the outside. Our books are in a "Dangerous: Flammable" box as well. Probably because of our copy of Fahrenheit 451.

Strange temporal post:

There’s something all but diabolical attached at over putting our dishes in a deal out outwit with a Goliath touch-and-go sticker slapped on the best. Our books are in a “Dangerous: Flammable” deal out outwit as well-spring. Probably because of our spread about of Fahrenheit 451.

I have no idea what it's obsession is with Goliath, but I really want a "touch and go" sticker.

Here are a few of the funniest and biggest head scratchers from the Engrish post I apparently made.

You can in eternity haul someone over the coals when someone in the lab is active to be emotional when all is said. No, in reality. I’m no more than pensive of the lab.

Better be careful about getting to emotional in the lab or you'll get drug across the bbq pit.

We’ve cleaned situated most of our bookshelves and loaded away all our Nautical galley supplies that aren’t on the “use every day” catalogue.

I had no idea I lived on a boat. I wonder what all those nautical galley supplies are for.

I am the trained packer in our bloodline. So I’ve moved settled 10 times in my passion.

Sounds like I should come with an AKC pedigree and my own set of tags.

The however deleterious task attached at over letting on to my penchant means I come to fraternize with most of the millstone of packing all our garbage up.

The army frowns upon fraternizing with millstones and garbage.

We went to a matinee (because we’re loud like that)

Matinees are only for people who randomly scream during movies.

The fleeting ahead the large partition was feverishness and uneven (like all of Pixar’s shorts) attached at over where babies fingers on from and how repay dicey animals be given teensy-weensy babies that desperate straits some inclination too.

Three times my use of "little" was turned into teensy-weensy. Apparently Mr. Bablefish really loves teensy-weensy. For the holiday weekend whenever I am going to type little I'm changing it to teensy-weensy just to appease him.

It’s a spicy relationship of inclination built not on Hollywood record but clubbiness and memories.

Everyone dreams of a spicy relationship that involves memories and clubbing each other.

“Even admitting that I be given no more than met you, I already inclination you.” Sounds like most Golden retrievers I comprehend. The puppies are in reality adorable too (and I’m calm gobsmacked settled the invigoration on the Doberman).

I have no idea what involves the invigoration of a Doberman but if expressing the anal glands is in there count me out.

I hope Mr. Strange Babel translator picks up on a few of my other blog posts because after this week I really needed that hysterical snorting aloud fit of laughter.

Picture a Day - Day 211

This has not been a good week. It's too fresh on the mind for me to go into it (and for the sake of the family I'm not sure I wish to) but a young life, a life on much the same mile marker as many of us, was cut short yesterday.

It wasn't an accident but a medical condition fought for over a year. She left behind a young son who just turned two and a husband of not quite a year.
We aren't born with an expiration date stamped on our forehead. There is no guaranteed allotment of days and to some extent we all know that. Yet every day we focus on the petty, the pointless, the distractions and ignore the simple and good.

Everything says you have to look a certain way, feel a certain way, buy certain things and be insanely jealous of anyone who has what you don't.

But who knows what could be lurking around that bend in your life. Devoting ones life to getting the perfect house/family/body/bank account comes at the expense of living that life.
We worry so much about what people think of us; who is judging our actions, our appearance, or just our existing. This new world of youtube commenters constantly judging your every breath has put an even more critical eye upon each of us. We live with a deep fear that someone could record something we do, it could become viral on the web and we'll be doomed to a life of derision.
I took each of these pictures while onlookers gawked at me and wondered just what the hell I was doing. I've heard a few whispers in my direction as I traverse my picture a day project and early on it bothered me.

I'd wait til everyone was gone or not looking to snap a picture. But if I'd waited until the entire campus cleared I'd never have taken a picture of rain drops on a spiders web.

Even though it's something you've seen on every inspirational poster I still think these anonymous words hold true today more than ever.

Dance as though no one is watching you,
Love as though you have never been hurt before,
Sing as though no one can hear you,
Live as though heaven is on earth.

Because no one knows just how long you'll be able to even do them.

Etsy Find of the Week - Fairchildart

I am an interesting study in contradictions (I'd try and list them all here but it'd take me a few hours and I don't think you all care that much) and while I am not big into doll houses and dolls really creep me out I love looking at doll house miniatures.

It's the amazing skill and talent to take something you see every day and shrink it down.

So while perusing Etsy hunting for some neat possibly Halloween miniatures I came across Fairchildart and was blown away by the skill in her food creations.

Look at those chips. They even look slightly translucent as if you touched them you'd have to wipe some of the grease away.
A breakfast fit for a king. The little tomato is great, and even though I hate baked beans they look ready to be gobbled up.
A stuffed crust pizza for those late night munchies when Barbie has a slumber party.
This looks like the salad we had last night.
A hamburger platter with some fingers to show just how tiny these really are.
The craftsmanship just blows me away. I'm secretly hoping as October gets closer she'll do some Halloween stuff because it'd be awesome to include one of those pieces in our little Halloween town.

If you're looking for any dollhouse food (or know someone who does) you have to see the cool stuff at Fairchildart. The shop also has some earrings and pendants made from her food sculptures.

Spicing up Poetry

The Road Not Taken*
by Robert Frost (with a few surprises added by me).

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where a zombie stood in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Imposing over stood trolls in a pair;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
Tempting with treasures of the pick.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
And knowing just what would allay,
I unsheathed my boom stick.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I shot the zombies in the eye,
And that has made all the difference.

*Many apologizes to Mr. Frost and anyone else who likes the poem, poetry in genera or speaks English. This just came out while playing a game and well it did make a it a bit more exciting after all, right?

Yeah I'll go burn myself now for being a heretic.

Picture a Day - Day 210

We made it baby!

Or that is to say I have finally made it in the capacity that my place in my work environment has become much more stable and secure. Extreme apologies if I accidentally misplaced any logical conclusions with my use of a witty epithet.

And just how can I measure how I have placed myself in the lab? For the first time I have my own set of pipettes:It's like giving a carpenter his own band saw, a computer programmer his own computer, and a doctor his own drug company paraphernalia.

Every other lab I've worked in I always wound up having to share pipettes which would cause a bit of consternation and hunting on certain experiment days. Especially the big blue one. You never know just how badly you need a 1mL pipette til you can't get your hands on one and are seriously thinking of using the 100ml ten times.

But now I don't have to worry, I can just reach into my drawer and pluck out whatever I need for the day.

Now, time to think of much better catch phrases. "You know you want to." Nah too generic. "The woodpeckers in the fireplace again." A bit too traumatic. Don't worry I'll come up with something good (okay and even though it is sort of related all today on my twitter I'm going to come up with fun and random video game taunts as the old fashioned "Ugh I'm dying" is a bit too dry for me. If you're curious you can watch the madness here.)

What in your job tells you that you've "danced with the polar bear"? (Danced with the polar bear? Come on people we can do better than that. I swear I'm gonna have to fire my writers and force you to get jobs working at book stores stocking the latest Dan Brown novel). And by that I mean, tells you that this is getting a bit serious and your job may just ask you to move in.

Okay, okay I'll stop with the random allusions and asides. I promise.

*twitch* Wait wait, just one more for the road. Please?

"Don't trust anyone who wears suspenders!"

Ah, much better.