Non-matching Bridesmaids

After reading That Bride's post about her own bridesmaids I thought I should share our little approach.

We didn't just throw out the rule book when it came to the bridesmaids attire, we also ran over it with the mower, set it on fire, and dumped it into a volcano for good measure.

I know next to nothing about dresses and shoes and how to make something look just perfect on another body. What I do know is how uncomfortable an unfamiliar dress and pair of shoes can be (not to mention how expensive and just downright evil).

So all I told my best friends and future family was to find a dress in either blue or green and wear it. It didn't matter if you already had it or it was found at a department store clearance sale. Just try to not show up naked (though thanks to some last minute alterations that was a possibility).

However, I would have been perfectly fine with a few barefoot women running around. People didn't even start asking me what shoes they should wear til about a week before and lets face facts it's way too late now, missed the boat, sorry you'll have to pick on your own (and we won't even talk about matching hair and makeup).


I'd say in the end it looks pretty good:


And for a shoe look:

It worked out so much better than I could have imagined, everyone was really happy and relaxed, and no one felt the need to smack me upside the head because my girls weren't in the exact same dress, shoes, and hair.

So take that rules. If one of your best friends wants to wear a dress that isn't made by the same designer as your others or even from the same dreaded dye lot just think about it letting her. Who knows how much fun you could have?

Mother's Attire

This is what my Mom wore as well as his:

The fitting from a males perspective

So we decided to spit in the face of tradition and smash a few mirrors in the process (later in the day we had a black cat cross our path a few times but that was our friends little kitty 'piccalo').

This Saturday was my last fitting and the second for my tall flower girl and rather than take two cars as we had to head further south to drop off our rings (I still miss the poor thing) my guy came with.

Right upon getting into the salon I said I was here for a fitting and at first she pulled my tall flower girls dress so I said that we needed the bridal gown too. Then she sort of looked funny at my guy and asked "Is that the groom?"

I suppose I could have been snarky and said "No, I can't afford spanx so he's just gonna hold in all my fat." But I just nodded yes, so then she asked incredulously "Can we let him see the dress?"

Rather than wax on about my thoughts on the stupid tradition and how he'd already seen both pictures of the dress and pictures of me in it I just sort of giggled and said it was okay.

At this point my guy was glancing around trying to understand something of the female mind (after seeing the large petticoat he gave in) so I invited him into the dressing room with me. It seemed a lot nicer than leaving him out there in the hordes of women trying to find their dress ready to rip any man apart.

Well long story short the dress fits good, just got to pick it up after it gets pressed (not that it looked wrinkled at all to me). The action picked up more when my tall flower girl arrived.

For any of you that have had to have a dress let out you know where this is going, but for those who are going to but haven't yet when you see your dress it's gonna be in shambles. The dress' little black band around the waist was barely attached and had little black strings hanging off. There was a huge extra flap of exposed seam in the back (which I promptly got stuck in the zipper and then stopped helping).

All in all her dress looked like Frankenstien's monster took a crack at sewing and then Igor took over halfway through.

But the highlight of the day (at least for my guy) was when they had to pin up her bust (it did entertain me when the seamstress asked her to come out so she could stick pins in my friend's bust.) For some reason dressmakers seem to think we're supposed to have DDD's or even F's but a small bust line so she had these little flaps of her dress sticking out on the side.

And what do the seamstress' call them? Boob Wings. Makes perfect sense to women right?

Just try saying that to a male. Go ahead. Boob wings.

Really try it tonight, I'm sure it'll entertain them for at least an hour.

Boob Wings.

Bits and Bobbles

I am happy to say that my tall flower girl has decided to stick with her original dress and they can easily enough let it out. Turns out she has a large rib cage.

She also bought her wedding day shoes on super duper sale so I took a picture of her in them and her dress.

I find it quite entertaining that while all of my friends are shorter than me in real life for the wedding they're all gonna be taller than me. It's gonna look like I'm melting! Melting!

Another thing we've been piecing together are all the guys costumes. If you haven't heard they're gonna be the Marx Brothers. My guy is gonna be Groucho, his best man Chico and the groomsman Harpo.

My guys was the easiest by far. We realized that he'd have to get a fake mustache instead of using Groucho's grease paint as I was gonna be kissing him all night and I didn't want to wind up with my own mustache.

The cigar was a nice find at a halloween shop. It has the little orange bit hidden at the end so it looks like it's lit in the right light.

The other two have been a bit of a challenge. We've generally left the costumes up to the other guys and gals. Though if we do find something that looks good we'll get it for them.

Harpo has been generally easy, bike horn, curly wig, and we found a top hat for him.

Chico is proving to be an interesting problem. He really doesn't have as signature a look so we've been looking for a hat that would work and so far the best we've come up with is getting an alpine hat and spray painting it black.

If anyone else has ever dressed up like Chico or knows someone that has if you ahve any tips to make a costume please do share.

Interesting Dilemma

This weekend I got a call from my tall flower girl. Right out of the gate she asked me if she could get the deposit back on her dress.

I'm sure I turned all kinds of white and red colors as I tried to figure out why she wanted to know that (it didn't help that I was sick and really tired).

I squeaked out a "Why?" while trying to hold back images of everyone abanding this wedding like rats from a sinking ship.

Turns out she's found a blue dress that she absolutely loves and is on clearance and she'd rather wear that than the one sitting at the bridal shop.

I paused for a minute as I erased all the images of her not being able to make the wedding for a myriad of reasons, took a calming breath, then attempted to tackle this issue.

I will admit I did for a minute think, crap she can't change dresses. Her dress is green so it'll match with the other ring bearer and she has a blue basket to contrast her dress. Blah blah blah. Luckily none of that came out of my mouth and I realized that it doesn't really matter.

She still owes around $100 on her dress and she's been having second thoughts on it for a while now. Thanks to the bridal shoppe not knowing how to use size charts she got a dress that is just a bit too small. I think it's still within alterations range but this Thursday she scheduled a visit with their alterations lady to get an idea of what it would cost and if they could do anything.

My suggestion was that if she could if she had to return the blue dress go ahead and buy it, then bring it with her on Thursday. She could try on the old dress as well as the new one and see which she likes better.

I've seen so many brides that in waiting for their dress to come in suddenly decide they don't want it anymore and get something new, only to want to go back to the old idea. So at least trying on the old one once before abandoning all that money for the deposit was my thought.

I guess we'll see on Thursday. I already said that I'd go with her if I wasn't doing anything too important at work. Man I thought I was done with this whole dress thing.

I need bigger boobs!

Today was my first fitting and I am happy to say that all it needs is a bit of shortening of the straps (that or I will have to get a much bigger chest or smuggle puppies in) and a slight hemming of the chiffon layer (it is really easy when you are 5'7" to get a dress).

After reading about how alterations can cost a bride almost the same as my dress I was so happy to find out it would only cost me $45. Not to mention it was a quick 10 minutes to get pinned in. At the same time my guy was next door getting measured for a tux and I was done before him.

I really could not tell you any more just how happy I am to have a bridesmaid dress. It cost a lot less, it breathes much better, and alterations are a good 75% less than a bridal gown.

I suppose I can share a picture though this is pre-strap raising. More proof that this thing is really gonna happen in less than 2 months. Ep!

Here comes the bride

A long long while back my Future Mother-in-Law had found one of those little rhinestone things that spells "bride" for under a dollar. I really didn't know what to do with it for quite some time (there were thoughts of a GoodWill trip but that got nixed in favor of sanity).


I've never understood those tank tops that say things like Bridesmaid and Maid of Honor. So you can only wear it once and you can't even really wear it while getting ready what with it being a tank top and you don't want to pull something over your head when you have super fancy hair? Seems like a big waste to me.

This weekend when we had to take a stop at Michaels for, um, I really can't remember why now, but while I was trying to hunt down a toddler I saw something that got me thinking on what to do with those little bridey jewels.


I had to make a stop to Target to get myself a nice black hoodie and then drag out the iron.


This is the final product:

I wanted something with either buttons or that zips up so I can easily get into and out of it while having my hair all piled up and nice like, but I'd also want something I can wear again. What with us getting married in October and honeymooning ina not warm place, a cozy hoodie made more sense than getting a button up shirt.

Plus I have an extra spider, so when I get tired of the "bride" I can take it off and put on a cute spider instead. It'll also be something nice to pull out right around halloween every year.


Has anyone else made something a bit different from the ol' "Mrs. Such and such" or even a simple "bride?"

Rocking some new duds

I am no fashionista. I think my color palate for clothes is generally blue, more blue, some light grays, and then more blue.

But some messing around on Target's website I found a dress that I just loved the look of and the reviews were all great so I ordered it and hoped and prayed it would fit. (I loathe on-line size charts as they are never right most of the time).I got it in yesterday night and I am happy to say that it fits perfectly. It's also insanely comfortable, light but not too light, with a very sturdy zipper. Though the picture makes the background look white it's actually a really light pink, I'm not too crazy about it but it does look nice.

For me though, the all time best feature are the pockets. I love this trend of actually putting pockets in women's clothes. Why can't more people jump on it? After all guys get huge deep ones in everything. (Going dress clothes shopping always used to make me think of an exchange from a book called "Monstrous Regiment" where a woman had dressed up as a man to fight in a war and before going back to being a girl she says "Pockets, the one thing we need to keep are pockets.")

This dress might make an appearance for our rehearsal (if I'm not so busy running around like a chicken with my head cut off) or I can use it for a wedding that is two weeks after my own. But it's so comfy it might make a few other appearances.

What fashion finds have you guys made for all those other parties, be it a shower/engagement party/other shower/or rehearsal dinner?

The pretty Maids

So I realized that after 100 and some posts I never really showcased what my bridesmaids will be wearing.

Well, uh, you just sit right there and I'll go and get them.

*slowly backs away and then runs off*

*chirp* *chirp*

Okay so the issue is the I've never actually seen either of them in said dresses and I've only seen my bridesmaid's dress really quick once (she may actually be wearing a different one). It doesn't really bother me but it does make it a lot harder to show off fabulous pictures of them all decked out.

Okay okay, I got a few pictures I can share. No reason to get all upset.

First up here is my Matron of Honor's. She found it at J.C.Penny when it was super on sale so alas it doesn't seem to be available anymore.
Like I said I can't really show off my bridesmaids dress as even I barely remember what it looked like (it may have yellow bells all over it or I might be thinking of that Santa costume I saw last december).

So I'll include my tall flower girl. She got a really gorgeous dress from the bridal salon where I got mine.The actual color of her dress is a minty green. But I do find it entertaining that we were both drawn to dresses that are our favorite colors. I know how much my tall flower girl loves pink and black I would have let her get it that way but she wanted to match everyone.Well that's a vague idea of what our bridal party is gonna look like. Hopefully we'll get some better pictures of people in their dresses for the wedding (if we get pictures of them not in their dresses I promise I won't share them, now give me back my keyboard guys).

To preserve, or not to preserve

So you've already spent hours and tons of money in getting your dream dress. Then once it comes in you have to spend another couple hundred on getting it altered to fit you perfect. This leaves the wedding industry scratching its head, once you are done with all that and are ready to wear the dress how can they get more money from you?

Oh, wait. I know, gown preservation!

So, let me get this straight. They take your dress that you just peeled out of, clean it, add in some paper and then stick it in a box so you can shove it under your bed and pull it out whenever you want to wave at the little man in the box.

I think I'm still missing something here. It's a dress you'll never wear again, and due to ever changing fashions, I kinda doubt anyone else will ever wear again. My mother's dress was the perfect early 80's dress and that one wasn't gonna happen. I'm sure by the time I have kids there'll be some weird fashion trend so my boring ol V neck dress will just seem weird.

So I was quite excited to see that there is a place you can donate your old wedding gown to. It's called Brides against Breast Cancer. And they will take your dress, clean it themselves, and then put it in a trunk show for other brides to buy and donate the money to breast cancer research. As my grandmother died from breast cancer, this was a very easy decision to make.

You can also donate your dress or a prom dress to a company that will make burial clothes for babies that have passed on. Or if you have some old bridesmaid and prom dresses just taking up space you can also donate them to various companies that will get the dress to people who couldn't afford one.

If it bothers anyone else in your family that you won't have your wedding gown hiding under your bed for the rest of your life, you can just tell them that you're recycling or it's a good tax ride off. For me it was an easy decision, and for those of you who are hesitant to spend $200 to have your gown preserved maybe you can look into sharing it to make someone elses day.

A dress for every season

I have discovered a dichotomy that I cannot make heads or tails of. The trend now is for brides to pick out a dress that their "maids" will wear again, yet if anyone wants to wear said dress that they paid for, had altered to their shape and really like before the wedding they are shot down, rolled up in a carpet, and booted out of town.

First off, I really don't think no matter how hip bridesmaid dresses claim to be that they'll ever really not look like one. Sure it helps that they've moved to tea and cocktail length (sounds like we're all gonna have to pee a lot during this thing) but there is just something about a dress you can only get at a bridal salon that screams wedding party.

My MOH and I looked for some bridesmaid dresses at David's Bridal (by that I mean I sat back and let her go wild, only she knows what looks good on her body so I wasn't gonna offer up any opinions). She managed to find the worst dress ever. It would make anyone above a model sample size look like they're as wide as a truck. We didn't take any pictures of her in it (she'd kill me if I had, it looked so bad I was laughing like crazy) but here's the picture on a slip of a model. In the end all of the dresses there just looked, well, really bad. Nothing looked cute or hip, just sort of dowdy and as though the wearer would rather be swallowed into the bowels of hell.

She lucked out as she found a gorgeous dress at a department store that was in the right color range of blue (I am not a painter, I do not have any swatches for what color everyone should be. I think limiting it to green and blue is enough of a challenge). I would say that if you really do want your girls to wear their dresses again go the department store route. I still feel bad for one who did get her dress at the bridal salon. She says she'd wear it again, and it does look good on her, but I'm still worried about people telling me things to make me happy for fear I'll start breathing fire.

If you are the type of bride who feels like they must stress over every last detail, here's a very thorough article on choosing a bridesmaid dress for all your girls whether they'd like it or not.
I don't get it, this whole matchy matchy thing. The idea that you get final veto for something you aren't paying for or wearing or will have to house in your closet for years to come. I'd much rather they all be comfortable in something they feel sexy in than something I thought would just look perfect on one body type (probably mine) and no one else can pull off.

As for the idea that if they do have a perfect dress that they love the style and color of, but they can't wear it before the wedding I got a few counter arguements. First the idea that you might spill some wine on it (not a major issue as I know neither of my friends drink wine) it's called a dry cleaner, if it rips you happen to know a good seamstress that just altered the dress for you. And as for the bride seeing you in the dress and getting angry I know my MOH is wearing hers for her sisters wedding, I'll be there pulling down guest book duty and I'm excited to see it on her.

I didn't kill anyone!

I am happy to say that the dress fitting thing went off without a hitch. I could actually fit into mine, it was the right color, and it was just as light and airy as I remembered. (My necklace however is too long and that's why I only have one hand in the picture)

My taller flower girl was there trying on her dress as well. I think it is super cool. It's got a really neat sheen to it, that reminds me of those car finishes that seem to have glitter trapped in them.

The surprising find of the day though was when my flower girl brought her future sister in law (and my magazine dumping ground) dress shopping and I was actually all excited about helping her find a dress.

I think a lot of it was the whole fact that it wasn't me having to squeeze into dress after dress, I didn't have to try to figure out if I could wear something for hours and hours, or if I could afford something for just one day.

Plus she just looked gorgeous in it. It was one of those, where she picked one at random off the rack and just tried it on and it fit like a glove. I'd love to show a picture and all but in the off chance her fiance is a major computer hacker and figures it out, here's a close idea. Hers was an indigo and it was a different designer but they're practically the same. (My tall flower girl also tried on a wedding dress that she'd had picked out for years, dress shopping is so much easier when you don't have to wear one).

And as she's looking into using silk flowers and loves blue I volunteered her all my flowers, so they might get a really good home too. Now I just have to think of some other stuff she could use . . . too bad the extra invitations aren't good for anything.

Is anyone else donating a lot of their stuff, be it information or various props and things to another friends wedding?

The Dress, part deux

I'm gonna admit a major secret right now.


Come closer, much closer.


My dress has been in for a good month but I still haven't gone to see it.

Whew, now I feel so much better for typing that out. I'd been wanting to wait for my other girls dress to come in so we could go together and provide back up if we should have to fend off any demented needle wielding seamstress.

I also need some back up in just going to see this thing. Somehow through the years the white dress has just come to symbolize THE WEDDING. Anymore if you just want to show a wedding no matter how weird the place (forest/mountain top/cow pie full field) just have some slip of a girl in a big poufy white dress. It seems like it just isn't a wedding without THE DRESS! (though personally if I could have swung it and wasn't possibly going to have to deal with the misguided view that white=virginal I probably would have gotten a deep blue dress. Long live blue!)

A fashion maven I am not. I don't really know what looks good on me, okay I do know nothing really looks good on me. I kinda freak out when I have to get dressed up and I look like none of the fabric is actually touching me. Kind of impressive to watch actually. It doesn't help that I am not hourglass shaped, I am not apple shaped, I am big fat ol' pear shaped. That's right I have hips and simple little B cup top.

I'd really like to have a talk with all those dress designers who seem to have it in their brains that all women are hourglass, hate to break it to you but we're not. There is nothing more evil than those dresses that are fitted for the hips (you know 90% of them) when your hips fall three inches too high and your waist is lost somewhere in the bust.

So I did try on my dress and all that (though I did order it a size bigger than what I tried on), I'm still a bit worried the new one won't fit either. It's kind of an inane worry. I've been trying to get into some sort of shape (it's showing as I can play the super evil Green Grass & High Tides on drums for Rock Band without passing out) but I still have an innate fear that I cannot fit into my dress.

There's just too much emphasis put on a dress that just used to be a girls finest but thanks to Queen Victoria now is expected to be not only white but insanely fancy and you're to spend bags on money on. Why must the wedding industry put so much emphasis on something just to drive you insane? I really think the used car industry could learn a thing or two from them.

Well here's hoping I don't turn into a blindly glibbing mess tomorrow as my good friend and I head off to the shop to try on our dresses. I know she'll look hot because she looks hot in anything. (It's quite amazing, we used to go around the mall looking for the ugliest outfits in the bargain bin and she could make it work). As for me, well I'll try to not look too much like pagliacci. Wish me lots of luck, and hope I don't flip out and take a ring bearers pillow hostage.

Planning two weddings

The deeper and deeper the Kraken of a wedding planning industry pulls me in the more I notice the cracks.

One of the big problems that even I, a very decisive (to a scary point) person, is fighting is the trend to go ahead and purchase something then while you wait and plan you suddenly decide that it isn't the perfect dress/colors/menu/flowers for your Big Day!

The worst offender seems to be the Dress! After all it isn't just a dress, it's THE DRESS! The dress you can only wear once (unless you want to recycle it), the dress everyone will see you in, the dress people will remember you in forever until you die!

I can't really blame people, when you are told to buy your dress a good 6 months before your wedding and along the way you get inundated with nothing but pictures of dresses. If you have already gotten your dress don't just avoid run, run away from any bridal magazines. There's maybe one good article in the end anyway and a good 90% is pictures of the "perfect gown."

It seems like a really insidious plan really, that way you have women buying two dresses and then they have to sell one off. (Here's one woman's plight to try to change her dress) You just have to peruse eBay to find tons of people selling wedding gowns and it seems like a lot of it isn't from a canceled wedding.

Though the dress isn't the only option, people seem prone to changing the decor, the location, the invitations, and sometimes even the colors long after things have been purchased and are currently gathering dust.

I say, no more! No more worrying that you don't have the right centerpiece for Your Perfect Day! No more fretting that people will scoff at you for not getting a horse and carriage! No more having people make you think this is the last day of your life! (Personally I am hoping the Best Day of My Life involves less satin and lace and more sun, water, and dogs.)

For me, anytime a little worry enters into my brain that maybe I did go too cheap for our RSVP's, or that our Halloween reception is just dumb I remind myself that in the end none of it really matters anyway.

That and I am having enough troubles planning one wedding, I refuse to plan two.