Thursday, November 8, 2012

Week two, now you've done it.

Good Morning Campers?

Feeling refreshed? Excited? Like you could face the day head on and conquer whatever befalls your path?

Then you must not be doing NaNoWriMo because we just crossed into the windless doldrums that is week two.

While Week One is the excitement and joy of Christmas Morning as you tear off the wrapping around your brain and see what falls out onto paper. Week Two is the mind crushing boredom of having to watch The Christmas Story for the 75th time that day waiting for a dinner more substantial than all the sugar in the world while your Great Aunt places her feet upon your back as if you're some ottoman.

I think Week Three is the Boxing Day of Nano but with slightly less punches thrown.

Week Four is some kind of rabbit with a vendetta against squirrels. I haven't fully worked out my metaphors, but you get the gist.

Week Two:

If you just played that song three times, then you must be in deep, scrabbling to get even 400 words down in stone, or papyrus, or whatever crazy ass font you're trying now instead of actually writing.

So now I should be offering some kind of advice, or a pep talk, or perhaps a small mint to try and magically solve the problem I used Muppets to show?

Yeah, there's no cure. I'm sorry. Your novel only has three weeks to live.

But don't give up now. You don't want to leave your 12,000 words orphaned, forced to join with street gangs and adorably ask for more commas, Sir.

Batten down the hatches, shut out the rest of the world, enter into some disturbing sensory deprivation where it's just you, an internet-less laptop, and a jar.

You'll either come out with a novel or be dressed like a turn of the century peanut salesman. 60:40.

Happy Noveling!

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