Monday, September 20, 2010

Ride Horseman!

Being big into the ol' holiday of death I often get asked "So, what are you going as for Halloween? I bet it'll be really awesome."

"Er, uh" I stutter out then I throw a bag of glitter at them and run but boy is glitter restocking starting to get pricey.

There seem to be two kinds of Halloween people, either you're the extrovert who loves the elaborate costumes half of the year spent researching and cobbling together so you can strut your stuff at a party or you're an introvert spending 6 months on a half chewed skeleton corpse inside of a whale to freak out the neighbors and probably make sure no one makes it to your door for candy.

My husband and I are firmly in the latter category.

I have a few go to costumes if I feel I need to wear something but for the most part I like my props to stand out while I blend into the background.

However, in the case of our puppy who would die happy meeting people we get her something rather adorable.

This weekend we snagged Essie's costume (after hours of research):

But you really have to see it in action:

It's almost like the Headless Horseman is glued in his seat. Oh wait . . .

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Need some Help

I've written another story, not for any tiny swords or to win something funny and entertaining. This was done simply because I had an idea in my head and I need your help.

I have no idea what in the world to call this thing. The best I got it "Spooky Eerie thing that's reminiscent of Twilight Zone."

Whatcha think?

After the Jump

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A Trip Down Diptych Lane

But first here to warm up the crowd the happening guy this side of Arlington, the End all Be All, the Harvester from Under.

Put your hands together for the Grim Reaper!
For the next half hour he's going to stand there and grin at you. Enjoy.

Op, looks like another soul has to be claimed and our friend must leave. Another round of applause for Mr. Reaper.

Now onto our main piece, allow me to give you that most rare of paintings - the diptych.

Shh, it's a tad shy so no flash photography for loud noises.

Come on out now:

Okay, now do your trick.

Come on, boy. Do the trick. You know how. Come on. Yes yes yes.

The Diptych everyone!

Tune in next week when we get a piece of colored paper to fold itself up into a swan.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Norse Idol

There are a few of my past times that I am rather ashamed to share. Nothing too disturbing involving whips, chains and a couple of llamas. More of the so incredibly uncool it's approaching the absolute zero of pathetic.

One of these is watching and ragging on QVC, specifically the Christmas gift shows.

I know, I'm a terrible person picking on those people just trying to peddle their reverse santa blanket that looks like someone skinned santa and parades around in his pelt or the 10,000 stupid little RC car that the kid will get bored with before the next present is opened.

 Usually I get a good dose of schadenfreude and a belly ache from the giggle and that's it, but this last time I got hit by a touch of inspiration.

It was while they were showing off their "Get him to AA" Santa and my husband and I kept making Bacchus jokes I thought, you know who else Santa kinda looks like, Odin.

He's got the big white beard, the warm furs. Just give him a bit more malevolent stare, a few props and boom.

And we just so happened to have a more rustic Santa we got super cheap last year at one of those "Please dear lord take the last of our Christmas Crap sales."

I give you my own personal Odin:
They're a little hard to make out but two ravens sit perched on his shoulders informing him about what they spotted in the world around him. His one eye is clouded over to allude to the one he lost in order to gain wisdom.

His spear I debarked, stained, and carved from a stick I found out in the yard.

And here's a close up of the head of Mimir he's holding:
He turned out more Rasputin than Norse decapitated head guy but alas I didn't have any good blonde hair around.

About the only thing that I didn't include was the 8 legged horse but frankly no one wants to see that. It'd look like an octopus was getting it on with a donkey.

So thank you QVC, your clearly tweaked out hosts and clutter provided me with a wacky idea and killed a weekend.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Troll Seeking Missile

Over the weekend I got to hone my troll fighting skills as I got into an internet battle on my DeviantArt page over this pendent:

Douchebag: Wtf is this Twilight wannabe shit

Me: You know apples were around long before twilight. In fact they were even mentioned in the bible. Maybe you should try reading a book trollboy.

Douchebag: I’ve actually gone ahead and given it a lot of thought, but I’m afraid I’m gonna very politely have to tell you to shove it down you ass and be ashamed for reading twilight.

Me: What was it they say about assumptions?

...Oh right, they make you look a complete moron.

I have never, nor shall I ever read twilight. This is an allusion (you may have to look that word up) to both Adam & Eve and the apple and the classic Snow White poisoned apple.

Did any poisoned apples show up in Twilight? Are there any evil witches? I frankly have no idea nor so I plan to as I have never read it and only seen the movie once with Rifftrax (you might want to look that up to, you could learn something about being funny).

Enjoy being an ass, ass.

I'm rather sad that he never came back, I was all ready to throw a Macbeth quote at him. Something along the lines of "All you are spinning is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing."

Oh well, there's always next time.

P.S. I just noticed that someone flagged his comments as spam, no idea who. I frankly didn't care enough to go to the trouble. I had far more fun giving him a word lashing.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Mugging the Camera

If there is one thing certain in life it is this: never trust the person holding the paintbrush.

I swore up and down that I would never ever do print or reproductions of my paintings because it just seemed to suck the life out of them.

Then I took a really cool picture of my Dark Forest painting (which has already sold in case anyone cares. No, no one does? I thought I saw someone cough for a second and fine moving on.) and got to thinking hm what if I maybe just tried seeing how it would look on say a smaller poster:
 Which then lead to, okay but how would it look on say a mug:

So there it is, my first ever print/mug of one of my paintings.  I still won't do prints often unless I feel like I can get a picture that really captures a painting, but it is kinda fun to put my random art on glassware.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Paintings, Pendants and Poison Oh My!

I've been scritching and athinking to stock up my Halloween type paintings and pedants so my store doesn't look so unprepared come October.

The first is that I finally listed my Enchantress:
It only took me, what, a month or so. You can see just how on the ball I can be about some of these.

Now for new stuff.

My first 11x14 in quite a while. I also went back into the black and white forest kick too:
I think I called it Dark Forest but frankly I'm running out of good ideas for painting names. I think my next tree painting I'm calling Weeping Clowns on Ice or something.

I have here one of my trading card paintings (or as I like to call them baby paintings) of a Dragon hiding out in a cave.
This was painted on a lazy Saturday when my fingers needed something to do and my brain was off in dragon cave land (I swear I will have one by Halloween come hell or more hell).

Another Baby Painting is a bit more traditional. On the cold wind, in the crunch of the leaves, with the warm comfort food winter lurks beneath autumn reminding us of how short a time fall is: Reflections of Winter in Autumn.
 I wanted to play with the idea of season and how you always feel one within the other.

For the pendant, getting a bit more fairy tale witchy with a poisoned apple. This is my One Bite pendant because that's all it takes:
And I have one that I just finished earlier today that is no where ready to list but it rounds out the list well.
Happy Halloween, MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Friday, September 3, 2010

We Have Containment

You may remember back in mid July (I remember the date well as it was my birthday) this happened:

Well a month and a half later and I am happy to day we finally no longer have a gaping hole where I fence once stood:
And also to add to our finally getting things we've waited over a month for I finally got my gift certificate and my prize for that story I wrote and won with back in early August.

No fairies or leprechauns better mess with me. I'm armed:
Hurray, patience sort of paid off.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

A Very Boozy Unbirthday

So far this week I've shared pretty shiny, nose candy, and now to something to satisfy both that sweet and alcoholic tooth (you should really look into getting that molar into AA, it's a mean drunk).

I first discovered Celebration Generation when I went to w00tstock back in early June. Being from Nebraska it'd make a lot of sense I wouldn't know much about the baker that created the really cool Tardis cake everyone got to munch backstage (though the native sitting next to me let out an audible gasp when the bakery's name was announced):
Once I was back to the land of cows and corn I came across Celebration Generation's head honcho's twitter account through a mutual disdain for Food Networks convoluted and occasionally disgusting Cupcake Wars (do not ask about the cigarette ones, trust me).

I learned that she had a cookbook coming out soon and it peeked my interest. It isn't your typical cake bakery instruction manual, this bad boy is all about baking with booze. There are recipes for Rum cakes, Strawberry Daiquiri cakes, Fuzzy Navel cakes, Guinness Chocolate cupcakes, Peach SoCo cheesecakes just to randomly pick a few.

For not being a drinker (not being able to get drunk kinda takes the fun out of it) I do love cooking and baking with alcohol. It gives such an interesting flavor pallet you don't find in your average cake.

My first major baking attempt came on a cold and miserable night (the best baking time really) - rum and coke cupcakes:
Forgive the not fancy stylishness of the cupcake, I have no skills when it comes to making something look pretty. But oh how divine the cake itself is.

I have a soft spot for cola cakes, the carbon dioxide gives a light bubbly dance on the tongue and the rum blends well not to overpowering but definitely there. It isn't too sweet either an issue I have with most other cupcakes where they pour the sugar on.

We've also got some other crazy concoctions going on courtesy of the cookbook - I've got Skittle Vodka - but once we get the official fall cooldown I'm sure I'll be tearing through this bad boy like mad.

It's called The Spirited Baker and you can buy it here.
Mmm, what's so wrong with eating a cupcake and getting a shot of rum in at 9:30 in the morning?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


September certainly wasn't planning on fooling around. We went from a sweltering 95 august day to rolling thunder and a consistent downpour dragging the mercury down below 80.

Which can only mean one thing, FALL IS HERE! Though looking around our house you'd think Fall got here around August 15th (I really wanted to give Summer a boot up it's backside to get the hell out). And to commemorate the advent of Fall I have for you some perfect perfumes to complement and enhance that falling leaves, warm pumpkin pie, witching hour experience.

I got a few sampler options so I could try some of her seemingly endless supply - 12 in all. Here is my brief synopsis, of each bit of nose candy. They range from light and fruity to musky and heady because sometimes you want your scent to match your mood.

Appease - Freshly-Baked Pumpkin Bread.
 It has that familiar pumpkin spice that puts one in mind of baking for the holidays. There's a warmth from the cinnamon that makes it feel much more like a bread or pie than just a pumpkin scent. Very delectable.

Canopic - comes about by way of Ancient Spices & Honey Amber Musk Filling Pretty Jars Safekeeping Innards.

You know how sometimes you read about scents that have scenes, time periods or ideas attached to them but once you smell it you have no idea how they came up with that. Well that is NOT the case with Canopic. The amber and honey put me in mind of ancient egypt, I almost feel like a displaced  time traveler. And the scent lasts, I wore some while taking Es on a long hot walk and it lasted through all that sweating and a shower after.

Crawlspace - brings to mind a fragrant, decrepit cellar. 

When I was little I loved nothing more than to find small hiding places to sit and be introverted all by my lonesome. Crawlspace brings back to mind the days of me hiding perhaps with a book or two inside one of my grandmothers many lost nooks and cranies. There's a light peppery scent that blends with a slightly sweeter smell. It puts me in mind of back closets and forgotten places.

Crossroads - Antique Oaks, Vanilla & Cajun Spices. You need only otherwise provide the caramels & pennies along with your request.

Very vanilla is the first scent that jumps to the nose, a light sugary vanilla but under that you get the sense of the oak and a slight spice. The blend is well crafted so the vanilla while strong doesn't completely overpower the oak and spices giving it its own scent.

Descent - is the natural result of Crisp Autumn Air Overfilled With Falling Leaves.

Descent has a green peppery scent fresh out of the bottle. On the skin you get the greens but underneath there's a scent reminiscent of that fireplace smell fall has on the air. It's a mix of the green and falling leaves with the bonfire scent in the air. A very complex scent very well blended.

Dirtnap - Broken Woods & Freshly Turned, Soft Earth.

Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt.  A freshly turned dirt scent that makes it perfect if you're say playing the part of a zombie, a mummy (perhaps with some canopic) or a deranged gardener. I've actually used it already to give my fake Dead Sea Scroll that recently discovered smell. If you love the smell of freshly dug ground this is the one for you.

Flicker - As The Flame is different every time it catches The Eye, so is this different and new every time you smell it. More than the seemingly simplistic notes of Apple, Spiced Citrus & Pumpkin.

And now we come to my by far all time favorite of the 12 (which is saying something because these are all so amazing). The pumpkin apple and citrus blend in such a way I get in the mood for pie. I want to nom my wrists and the changing scents keep it fresh. One minute I get the pumpkin, then a bit of the apple. I've been suggesting it to everyone but really if you want to try one I suggest Flicker. I've already used up about half.

Funeral Pyre - is the perfect mourning scent and smells eerily like a Dark Fragrant Fire.

If it weren't for Flicker, Funeral Pyre would be my gobsmacking find of this collection. I'll be damned if it doesn't smell exactly like an open fire chewing up some twigs and leaves on a cool fall night. The little bit of herby smell gives it even more authenticity. If you love the scent of burning wood a must try.

Leviathan - Lies Just Beneath The Dark Waters' Surface. Perhaps this will awaken the untapped potential within you.

A very green scent and a nice break from the fall headiness (if you feel you need one). It puts one in mind of deep green waters with something bubbling just underneath the surface. It's one that is incredibly difficult to describe but I love for its uniqueness.

Loot - An Antique Oak Basket filled with Brown Sugar-Kissed Apples.

It's apples cooked in brown sugar. There's really no doubt or other way of describing it. Apples with a delicious brown sugar (definitely brown sugar, no mistaking that) .

Naos No More - The Resident has forsaken it, yet the air is still rich with past offerings of Nutmeg, Amber, Balsam and Dried Woods. Deep, sultry, decrepit and musky.

Canopic was the lively awake Egyptian while Naos is the dark forgotten cave housing a long lost pharaoh.  The dried woods and balsam mix with the sweeter amber to give a scent of undiscovered mysteries. Puts me in mind of an ancient museum.

Scarecrow - is powered by The Night's Wind & Imagination.

Scarecrow has a blast of lemon citrus giving it the cooling night wind with a light musk underneath. This is probably my least favorite as I'm not a big lemon scent fan but if you are then you'll love this one.

And those are my 12 little fall perfumes - I'm sure that I'll be trying more as I'm a scent addict and be getting more Flicker.

What I love most about FeMaledictions is the care taken into blending each scent, nothing really stands out in sharp contrast to anything else. Each ingredient enhances the other. It's something I haven't found much outside of the really fancy perfumes that I love.

And that's my second find of the week, tomorrow expect tasty tasty food and booze.