Saturday, May 24, 2014

I am not a prize to be won!

Once again, a man has decided that rather than it somehow being his own fault that women of the world will not throw themselves upon his feet, it's the fault of 51% of the population. And, he took it to the point that he would rather slaughter innocents than face up to his own shortcomings.

This is a tale that's been told over, and over, and over, and over again.

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." 
--Margret Atwood

And once again, people are racing to find excuses for this monster. Oh he's mentally ill, he's not really a representative of the PUA/MRA asshole community, it's all a false flag. He probably wanted to kill men as well. He was attacking the privileged society in general.

People don't want to do the hard work to change things. They want to bury it in a shallow grave and forget it ever occurred until the next one occurs. Because it will happen again as long as women are treated like the toy in the happy meal, the prize in the crackerjack box, the guarantee any man has for being born with a Y chromosome.

Men, you're not entitled to sex, or a relationship, or even a fucking smile. We're not here for you.

And yet, one needs barely look at media to see the same story told over and over again. The men are the ones who save the galaxy, the women are the gift they're given for fulfilling their prophecy. Women are only put into mainstream books, movies or tv to be the one relationship, the one guarantee that the hero, no matter how much of a raging asshole or completely undeserving person he is, will get her.

And why? Not because he's a good person, kind to animals, shares the woman's same interests and is attractive? No! It's because he's the guy! And by dint of his penis, he deserves her. That's the way it's always been.

Women aren't people. They're a bundle of hair, and soft skin, and fatty tissue in the right areas that only exist at the whims of the men around them. Admitting they're thinking and feeling human beings with their own voice would alter the course of society.

A society that thinks women's work is worth 77 cents on a man's dollar.

A society that thinks women's health and the right to choose if and when they have a pregnancy is not her right.

A society that thinks rape is something women make up and even then it isn't that big of a deal.

A society that thinks a woman's voice is as worthless as a drink of water in a rainstorm.

Trying to change that is scary and too much work. It's easier to maintain the status quo and occasionally act shocked when once again a man decides he deserves women to the point of kidnapping and holding them in his basement for decades. Promptly forgetting it ever happened a few weeks later is far easier than trying for change. 

The old deflections are already rearing their head. Not all men murder women because they won't sleep with them. No, but enough men do. Enough men think they have the right to end the life of anyone who they perceived to rebuff them, enough men think they have the right to fuck any woman they want, enough men think they have the right to whistle and catcall any woman they want, enough men think they have the right to demand a smile from any woman they want. Enough men do all this that women spend their entire lives learning how to deflect, how to prepare, how to fight off all this bullshit just so they can get through their day.

Women are taught how to not get raped instead of men being taught not to rape. Because some men will always rape, is the argument of why. Because some men will always kill women, so why bother trying to stop that? Once again, blaming the victim for existing is easier than trying to alter the idea that men deserve that vagina.

I'm sure billions of words will be spilled blaming the PUA culture, or the MRAs,  or even women for being too picky about who they spend their time with; trying to compartmentalize it all down to "Someone Else's Problem" as if there aren't a million little boys taught that they're better than girls just because. That they deserve this or that, that they're the saviors of the world because they have a penis, and that penis means they're rewarded whatever vagina they want.

Because this will happen again, over and over, until we stop treating over half of the population like an aberration on the default setting of human.

1 comment:

Teresa D. Lee said...

I absolutely agree with you that there is no acceptable excuse. If there is a mental condition involved somebody should do something to either help them or separate them from potential victims.
I just saw an indie film that portrayed rape and a subsequent homicide with the rapist asking to be executed by the victim who is dissociative after the experience and imagining her revenge murder. It was really brutal to watch, and was saying what needs to be said -- rape is wrong and should never ever happen -- but was saying it by showing me rape and showing me brutal violence that I don't want to see and which would trigger flashbacks in victims of sexual violence. I feel like something is a bit off here that needs to be answered in another film or story, but the short I saw had its heart in the right place and succeeds as art by generating much discussion on an important social topic.