Dig your own grave and save

When one is in the halloween mood and wishes to create a graveyard on their property without the hassle of digging up their lawn or embalming a few of their more unloved relatives one looks to easy and quick grave like solutions.

All you need is a brown towel, a bag of potting soil and spray adhesive for your very own recently dug grave.

Spread your towel out in a well ventilated and easy to clean up area.

I hope you're not too attached to it. Grab the spray adhesive and cover that sucker in great big gobs of greasy grimey horse hooves.

Now dump your potting soil.

Leave it out to dry for a few hours, maybe add a few leaves here and there and soon you'll have a recently dug grave as awesome as this:

Once Halloween is over just roll it up and wait for next year.

Doggies in Pajamas Are Coming Down the Stairs

Being the humoring owner of a sociopath on four legs there are times when to keep from snapping I like to embarrass the hell out of my dog to laugh instead of tearing my hair out in bloody chunks.

This started last year when at one of those "Please dear god just take this crap away" after christmas sales we found a dog sweater in an ugly green for $2. Thinking it'd be hilarious to put it on Essie, take some pictures and laugh for a while we got it and put it on her.

Then the shocker.

She loves the bloody thing. To the point where she fights us if we try to take it off. She wears it on walks under her harness, she wears it while rolling out on the snow, she wears it on trains in planes and while eating green eggs and ham.

Which is why my 50 lb Labrador retriever owns three sweaters and after last night a pair of skeleton pajamas.

*sigh*

Geeky Christmas Cards

I know I'm breaking all my laws and traditions and other pointy things that will stab me in the eye for daring to utter the C word before Halloween has even sprung but what can I say, I was issued a challenge.

Sometimes that all it takes to get me down this path, someone wishes for one thing or out pops a curious idea and much like a young child with a little encouragement soon your fridge is covered in Tardis paintings.

For your discerning Lovercraftian friends, a Cthulhu Christmas Card

Don't celebrate Christmas? I got ya covered with a Happy Hogswatch:

(Can you spot the Hogfather in there?)

And for any Whovians the Tardis swings by the North Pole:

Those are all free for one to click, save, print and send to horrified family members.

I also have a set of Servo in the Snow cards for sale if any MSTies have a long list they need to get through.

I make Christmas Cards now, apparently.

Expect more geeky/nerdy goodness to come rolling out as the icy winter wonderland embrace comes upon us all.

Occupy Mordor

Giant glowing eyes are the 1%.

How the Time's Flown

Has it really been three years since I turned mutant green and battled Frankenstein's and Chucky's Brides?

Or my husband grew a paint mustache and started ruling small made up countries after shooting elephants in his pajamas?

 If you have no idea what I'm talking about those would be some of the pictures from that wedding thing we all slapped together three years ago (If you don't care I'll release a bunch of endorphins so you won't notice).

And now that I've been married for a whole three years I think I can finally dispense with advice that is certain to fit every single couple out there regardless of life, liberty or levels of pudding.

1. It is best to consider yourselves working together on a team, striving to save the world in your underwear. But every great hero needs an arch-nemesis. Sadly you cannot pick up a giant brained blue guy at the pound but you can get a dog. She'll push every button both of you have and weasel her way into trying to destroy every last vestige of life you once held dear. But knowing that it's you and your spouse against the monster will bring you even closer together than before.
2. Separate blankets. It makes doing laundry a bigger pill but if one of you likes to be warm and the other tends throw all manner of duvet and blanket and fitted sheet onto the floor in the middle of the night, separate blankets are a god send.
3. Duct Tape and Spray Paint can fix just about any hole, fallen side mirror or the fact that grass refuses to grow on the back third of your lawn.
4. Lentils are an excellent source of protein in that you can throw them at someone until they give you their steak.
5. The Cake is a Lie.

There you go, the five big tips to have a perfectly happy marriage (with a few dog vomit covered in duct tape and lentil fight side effects).