Whole New Wedding

Last night I just up and decided to hell with it, I'm going to change all the plans that we've made so far.

For starters instead of my simple white dress that is actually a bridesmaids one, I'm going with a super expensive, mortgage your house one. Plus I think I can hide some fruit in the ruffles for nourishment throughout the day.

I also realized that I have been acting waaay too lenient with my bridesmaids. Instead of them being able to pick their own dresses and colors, I'm going to make all of them wear something that could compete with a bag lady's outfit (and would also be the same as trying to buy three shopping carts).

And to go with all of these super special and magnificent dresses we have to get married at some place even more over the top. I was a bit worried due to physical restraints of having to stay within this state but I actually found myself a midwest castle.
We may even get ourselves some of these to go with it.

Trying to think of a dinner menu, I think we should go for something unexpected. So after much soul searching and testing, we've decided we should have lobster stuffed with tacos.

And what would a wedding be without some special favors for your numerous ravenous guests. Sure some people will have a photobooth there, or give everyone some candy in cute little tulle bags. We've decided to do both and have a photobooth that turns candy into your image and will then wrap it into a tulle bag.

Finally after a magical day we'll speed off to our antarctic honeymoon in a horse drawn super carriage!

Whew, glad I got all that done on today of all days.

And he floats!

I had to share this wonderful find from Amazon.com

I think the best part is the last bit claiming that on top of it all, he floats too.

Though you do have to wonder if he'll cheat on you with an inflatable whore.

Now I just have to find an inflatable wedding, that'll make things so much easier.

Contact

If you'd like to contact me for any ideas/help/really cool shiny stuff just e-mail me at

sabrinarichard at live.com

I'd always love to find any new upcoming blogs that need a little link love or if you want some help in advertising (I'm also not above begging for my own).

Never Again!

I have come to the realization that I will never get remarried if only to keep me from having to go bridal gown shopping ever again!

I've done some rather demeaning jobs before (most of them involving animals, and for a while worked as a janitor in a dorms bathroom) but nothing can top the horror of going dress shopping. Not only did I have to squeeze into that monstrous "undergarment" pictured up top (it shall from now on be referred to as "suffocater") I had some lady that I had never met, known, or taken out for drinks pawing all over me, taking my clothes on and off, and being way to perky for someone in the wedding industry.

It didn't help matter too much that I am not a size 10 (though in pants that's more like a size 6-8) and I shall never be that tiny. I, unlike the rest of america apparently, was born with hips. There is little I can do about it. I have a weird forced perspective going on where I have tiny hands and toes but a large middle (does anyone make a diamond shaped dress?). And of course in this land when it comes to the big day it's been decided only women smaller than the natural average can possibly be getting married. (If you got engaged and you're not that small then you'd best get on one of the zillion weight loss boot camps to slim down now!)

It did provide for some hilarious moments as I tried to jam dresses over hips that no one is supposed to want. I remember one point where I was leaning over gasping for air as tears ran from my eyes (okay in retrospect it may have been the suffocater as well).

After all this hell, I really can't imagine why anyone in there right mind would enjoy that experience much less go to try on dresses for fun?!

As for me, in the end we found a dress for my flower girl, who is 21 and really wanted to be my flower girl (we're gonna have a legal flower girl, he he he), and I went with a bridesmaids dress that comes in white. It was actually in my size and it didn't cost the same as two PS3's.

Boulder Fight

I'm in anti-wedding mode, so instead I've decided to have a

Boulder Fight!

I'm just trying to figure out this whole unexpected shower thing. My best friend and MOH mentioned how she'd be willing to make the long trek with me to have to talk to a bunch of people she's never met, but it falls during her trip to Canada.

I don't know if it means she really wants to go, is just humoring me because "I'm the bride" (I hate that saying just as much as "shipping and handling" by the way), or is upset because she's missing out on the chance to make me look like a dork.

In retrospect probably the last bit. We spent most of college trying to make dorks out of ourselves. Spray insulation foam!

Otherwise I'm trying to help/encourage a bachelor party while we are in for the shower for my future groom. I'm aware of guys planning abilities so I figured I'd have to throw out the idea and encourage him to talk to his groomsmen. Possible even buy a stripper or two.

What do they go for anymore? Can you get one on eBay?

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