I was asked that recently and I honestly had to pause and think really hard, what the hell is a month from now?
Are we gonna start the cell culture in lab that early? Is there some special meeting? Am I being sent overseas to commune with seals?
Oh right, the wedding. Yeah, um it's okay. Kinda ready I guess.
How the hell do you respond to those questions from people who are probably just trying to make conversation but you really have no fun wedding stories? I really don't have to rush around and get anything done, no major catastrophes (yet, someone find me some wood to knock on), and no cold feet (and even if I do have cold feet I have some perfect toe socks with glow in the dark skeleton bones on them).
In fact the few things we have to do are so boring even I don't like having to think about them (like getting hair cuts or giving the reception site our head count or forking over money to everyone). I'm falling asleep now just thinking about it.
So what do you tell people who seem to want to know your plans but you have nothing to tell them? And is anyone else going through major apathy as the wedding gets closer and closer?
I'm starting to suspect I may not really give a shit about the wedding til the day of now.
For the past week or so (probably right around this time) I've really been hard pressed to get excited for the wedding. At this point I am looking forward to the honeymoon much more than the wedding as well as when the futurama movie comes out and Rock Band 2 and when we can pay the gas bill.
So rather than looking at various centerpieces and figuring out how we're gonna set up our reception site I've just been messing around at various places and I thought I'd share my random day fun.
First off, every day requires a stop off at Cake Wrecks. If you haven't heard of this place, they're famous for hosting the picture of that wedding cake. You know the one. Where the bride had her likeness made in cake to be eaten by everyone. Really, you got to see it.
Well they also have a wreck a day, of just disturbing and hilarious cakes made by professional bakers that are rather missing their mark. (I don't know why but I just loved the babies on the carrots).
Okay now that you've gotten a whole bunch of giggles out of your system time for a fun simple game. Just go to this color personality site and instead of choosing your favorite color do your wedding colors (or as close as you can get) and then change you to "Your wedding." Here are mine:
Your wedding enjoys a peaceful environment
in which to relax and appreciate life.
(My wedding is a hippie)
Your wedding has a refined sense of beauty. (In other words, tacky)
Your wedding is capable of persisting against
all odds when determined to reach a goal.
(We're getting married, damnit!)
Your wedding is intent on establishing a
personal attitudinal framework within
which to accomplish your goals.
(My wedding owns a thesaurus apparently)
Your wedding is very strong-willed and
determined and can accomplish much
when left alone and undisturbed.
(My wedding is a homicidal maniac waiting to happen)
Easy-going and original, your wedding is capable
of relaxing and enjoying the finer things in life.
(My wedding is a snob)
Your wedding has an eye for art.
(And a jewel thief)
Your wedding works hard to improve your life
and to surmount the tensions involved in the struggle.
(By making your life filled with stress and struggle,
Bastard)
For those Freakazoid fans, I know there's at least one out there, I give you this little clip on marriage. I love it. Mmm meat.
If you're tired of having to go dress shopping all the time and look at the same thing over and over again why not make your own bridal gown?
I've decided that rather than my simple one I think I'll go for something a bit more poufy like this:
I just realized it looks like the little mermaid's wedding dress. Ah the early 90s.
If that one seems a bit to limiting, here is another bridal gown maker but I didn't really like the model as much. Mine looks like a sex doll someone pulled out of a dumpster.
Finally if there are any Kingdom of Loathing fans out there, have yourself a three tiered wedding cake.
This weekend was an interesting learning experience for us. On sunday we traveled to see my parents (on Saturday we got some cool halloween stuff, Michaels already has some out so if you're like me and just like looking at it their spooky town has a killer octopus). They live a whole 2 hours away and as we'd just mailed our invitations on Friday I really didn't think that anyone would have one yet.
Instead it seems like everyone does. My Dad had to ask me how to run the RSVP postcard (something about asking if he had to e-mail it to me) and my mother had already put it on the giant paper filled fridge.
It's a weird feeling to have that invitation and reception card we worked on and okay didn't stress over as much as others but it's still ours, up there where all the other fancy weddings were in my life.
So that really means that we're gonna have to do the whole nine yards now. The white dress, the flowers, the candles, the having piles of pictures taken, the chicken dance. Dealing with waring relatives and the stress of "well why didn't you invite so and so."
As my fiance pointed out, it's starting to feel like graduation, something you've worked at for a long time and when the day arrives it just flies by so you barely remember being there. That's probably really why they take pictures so they can prove to the couple that they are in fact married.
It's one more of those life things that proves I'm growing up, though I do still like coloring and playing with cars, so while I'm not nervous about being married I'm still a bit in denial that I am one of those women about to become "THE BRIDE!"
There is an assumption that once a person becomes a bride they are instantly immensely concerned with every little detail and making sure everything is perfect, perfect, PERFECT! Even when we met with the minister last night she asked how we pictured a "perfect wedding." My response, "We plan on something going wrong and by the end of the day as long as we're married and no one is in jail it's a success."
Trying to be perfect is just going to cause lots of headaches and ulcers so I've given up control of aspects that really don't matter for us. One of the going against the grain ideas is that I have the full confidence that my guests can in fact find a seat all by themselves and there will be very few fights over it.
We aren't going to have any ushers really. For when we do require one (mothers or someone who has troubles) we have the groomsmen. It'll keep them occupied so they aren't going on a beer run right before. There might even be some encouragement for people to sit on whichever side they want. I fear at this point if we went the traditional bride and groom side the church we'd have a protestant vs. catholic game (no rubber bands).
And then when it comes time to the reception I haven't thought long and hard about how to make some adorable place card, a fancy table number thing, and then make a fancy list by the door so everyone knows where they sit. Which also means I don't have to look forward to hours spent scrutinizing over the seating chart and deciding if Aunt Bertha can be trusted next to his Uncle Herman.
To me, they can make conversation with the people they sit next to or not. They can sit in the back or up by the front depending on their preference. And that way we're less likely to snub someone by putting such and such closer to the couple than others (I've seen that happen a few times in my family).
Plus now we have the freedom to on the day of decide if we want a table here or there, it doesn't have to follow any set map or plan, we can just wing it (And at this point we've got more of a horseshoe/last supper table look going on so there are no bad seats). Even though it may wind up giving all those etiquette bees a heart attack this is just one less thing we're going to work and sweat over.
I'm just trying to figure out this whole unexpected shower thing. My best friend and MOH mentioned how she'd be willing to make the long trek with me to have to talk to a bunch of people she's never met, but it falls during her trip to Canada.
I don't know if it means she really wants to go, is just humoring me because "I'm the bride" (I hate that saying just as much as "shipping and handling" by the way), or is upset because she's missing out on the chance to make me look like a dork.
In retrospect probably the last bit. We spent most of college trying to make dorks out of ourselves. Spray insulation foam!
Otherwise I'm trying to help/encourage a bachelor party while we are in for the shower for my future groom. I'm aware of guys planning abilities so I figured I'd have to throw out the idea and encourage him to talk to his groomsmen. Possible even buy a stripper or two.
What do they go for anymore? Can you get one on eBay?
"Are you ready for a month from now?"
