Friday, May 16, 2008

The Dress, part deux

I'm gonna admit a major secret right now.

Come closer, much closer.

My dress has been in for a good month but I still haven't gone to see it.

Whew, now I feel so much better for typing that out. I'd been wanting to wait for my other girls dress to come in so we could go together and provide back up if we should have to fend off any demented needle wielding seamstress.

I also need some back up in just going to see this thing. Somehow through the years the white dress has just come to symbolize THE WEDDING. Anymore if you just want to show a wedding no matter how weird the place (forest/mountain top/cow pie full field) just have some slip of a girl in a big poufy white dress. It seems like it just isn't a wedding without THE DRESS! (though personally if I could have swung it and wasn't possibly going to have to deal with the misguided view that white=virginal I probably would have gotten a deep blue dress. Long live blue!)

A fashion maven I am not. I don't really know what looks good on me, okay I do know nothing really looks good on me. I kinda freak out when I have to get dressed up and I look like none of the fabric is actually touching me. Kind of impressive to watch actually. It doesn't help that I am not hourglass shaped, I am not apple shaped, I am big fat ol' pear shaped. That's right I have hips and simple little B cup top.

I'd really like to have a talk with all those dress designers who seem to have it in their brains that all women are hourglass, hate to break it to you but we're not. There is nothing more evil than those dresses that are fitted for the hips (you know 90% of them) when your hips fall three inches too high and your waist is lost somewhere in the bust.

So I did try on my dress and all that (though I did order it a size bigger than what I tried on), I'm still a bit worried the new one won't fit either. It's kind of an inane worry. I've been trying to get into some sort of shape (it's showing as I can play the super evil Green Grass & High Tides on drums for Rock Band without passing out) but I still have an innate fear that I cannot fit into my dress.

There's just too much emphasis put on a dress that just used to be a girls finest but thanks to Queen Victoria now is expected to be not only white but insanely fancy and you're to spend bags on money on. Why must the wedding industry put so much emphasis on something just to drive you insane? I really think the used car industry could learn a thing or two from them.

Well here's hoping I don't turn into a blindly glibbing mess tomorrow as my good friend and I head off to the shop to try on our dresses. I know she'll look hot because she looks hot in anything. (It's quite amazing, we used to go around the mall looking for the ugliest outfits in the bargain bin and she could make it work). As for me, well I'll try to not look too much like pagliacci. Wish me lots of luck, and hope I don't flip out and take a ring bearers pillow hostage.

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