Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'll never be perfect

If there is one time that a woman will have the world on her back on having to look as gorgeous as possible it's on her wedding day. Even worse than a trip to a beach or the dreaded high school reunion, somehow society has decided that the one day that you must be a size 2 have full voluminous hair and perfect nails it's on that one day of your life. (And some brides apparently require their bridesmaids to all but kill themselves)

Yeah, right.

I'm fat, I've always been fat and I always will be fat. The older I've gotten the more I've come to terms with it and just because I am fat doesn't mean I am not healthy. I've always been more flexible than my thin counterparts and have insanely low blood pressure (some people think I might actually be a lizard), so none of that of you have an extra 10 pounds you have to lug around that makes you unhealthy just because you don't have a magical metabolism.

But it seems like the wedding industry is set up so that the worst thing you can be is fat on your wedding day. That you will look terrible in your pictures and just feel awful about it for the rest of your life. So you need to buy all of our nifty gadgets and spend a couple weeks in a bridal boot camp as well as refuse to eat anything but drink some water and have celery every other day.

It's insane and it really sucks. Companies saw how much pressure women were on already and decided to make them feel even worse. And it isn't just the "overweight" women who are getting this crap. Normal women, women who have the perfect BMI feel like because they are getting married they must lose 5-10 pounds just to look perfect on that day.

I say, no more. No more looking at professional models (who are paid to be a certain size) in wedding dresses. No more signing up for all those weight loss programs on ever wedding planning site. No more straining for that one perfect wedding dress size. It is after all just a number and no one will know it.

I am going to keep toning up and building some muscle but not for some mythical day. I want to be able to play tennis for hours when I can get someone willing to play with me and I'd rather enjoy the slow walks I get with my fiance than the all alone tortures of aerobics for hours a day. I am just fine the way I am. It might not be perfect, but then again who is?


Mione said...

Let me just say amen to what you've all written.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, this is a beautiful post!!!

professional daydreamer said...

i'm totally with you. my dress will fit me, not the other way around. i do not need a goddamned pedicure to put in an appearance at my own party. perfect hair will come loose. makeup (if i bother to wear any) will smudge. and all of this is just part of life. imperfection is reality, and this wedding will soon be reality. and i accept that.

now, is there anything that can be done to help free others from this demand for bridal (and general feminine) perfection? i might be indifferent to other's judgments, but they are still judging by this insane standard, and it makes people sick. we spend a lot of time analyzing what's wrong in school, but i still have no idea how to make anything right, even a little, outside of my own mind.

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