Thursday, March 11, 2010

Rotten Momatoes

Morning dearies.

Rotten Momatoe here to give you the lowdown on all the latest scrapings Hollywood is trying to ram down our throats (do I really have to say that? It's just so violent? All right then). Because who can give you a better opinion of a movie than dear old Mom? Sure I may not always remember what kind of people the kid sees, who Keyser Soze is supposed to be, or even stayed awake for most of the movie but you'd better listen to me or else!

Now stand up straight, stop fiddling and read ahead.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief- I kept waiting for the scar headed kid to show up but I think the producers forgot to include him. Otherwise it was really weird.

Cop Out - Didn't this take place in an office building at Christmas? Where were all the decorations? No ones going to remember your Christmas Movie if you don't have any decorations.

Avatar - Lots of people put on big blue masks and pranced around in the jungle. They're going to catch their death if they keep that up. Did no one think of all the mud they'd track into their spaceship?

Valentine's Day- I expected there to be more skeletons.

Alice in Wonderland - It was really weird. What was a pirate doing in Neverland? If they were going to do that they should have brought in Captain Hook and the crocodile as a subplot. It was nice to see someone who suffers from gigantism of the forehead in a role, you don't get that often.

Finally to round out this list and because the studio says I have to talk about it.

Transformers - People were throwing each other and turning into things. It was really weird.

And that's my reviews of this weeks movies. I give them all three and a half arm chairs which is what I passed out into about 20 minutes in.

Come back next week for even more Rotten Momatoes and for gods sake when are you going to give me some grandchildren?

(Author's Note - some of these reviews are actual and come from my mother, she has shall we say interesting tastes in anything she deems not weird.)


April D said...

I was so disappointed in Percy Jackson. The books have awesome characters; especially one fat girl who kicks ass from the Ares house. But instead they melded her with the shy girl who follows Percy in the book and gave us the Movie version of Annabeth: hot chick in leather kicking butt but NOT fat OR shy. *sigh*

Linda said...

There were plenty of skeletons in Valentine's Day. Some of those actresses haven't eaten in years!

Jennifer said...

the post (and Linda's comment)! Very funny!

valerie said...

I really liked Percy Jackson, but I hadn't read the books before I saw the movie. Brett was disappointed in it because he HAD read the books prior to the movie, haha. I haven't seen any of the others.... and haven't really wanted to. I'm going to be forced to watch Avatar when it comes out on DVD. Brett loves that frickin' frackin' movie. Blargh.

Lisa said...

I was also disappointed with the Percy Jackson movie. They made everyone old. And the darn movie was really lacking of story. Hope they don't make another one.