Name: That is classified. I have no idea why, but let me tell ya it made kindergarten hard. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to spell classified?
Single or taken? Single sliced, like Kraft cheese? Cause that would be cool if you could just randomly stack yourself around the room. Anyway taken, because no one wants me driving so I get taken everywhere.
Nickname: Maybe one day one will stick to me, but for now I am the diviner of them. Right Stinky, goat?
Eyes: The ones on my face or the one in the back of my hea . . . ha ha ha uh yeah forget you just read that.
Height: Half the size of a Yeti with basketball shoes on. Slightly taller if he has cleats on.
Hair: Yes I am a mammal so I do have hair. Thank you for noticing. Oh what color? I dunno can it get more boring than brown? Though mine is very curious apparently and is trying to classify the world.
Siblings: The one, we all know who, so the less said about her the better.
What are you wearing right now? A leather bustier with chains. He he, so how many people just ran screaming out the room? In reality a T-shirt and jeans, what a shocker.
Birthday: The day I emerged from the mother pod was the eve of the ides of July.
Sign: Beware falling cheese. Yeah I got there kind of late and they were running low.
Where do you live: Deep in the forest with the squirrels planning and scheming to bomb Iowa. It’s not going so well, so far all the plan involves is burying nuts and then chasing each other up a tree.
Best Friend? Who the hell would put up with me for more than a few hours at a time? Even trained Navy Seals need smoke breaks.
What are you most scared of? Filling out surveys, but got to live on the edge. Once you let fear take hold of your life you can never live. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
What would you like to change about yourself? What would I not have to change about myself? Well I have normal elbows, so I suppose I would not have to change those. Otherwise everything else must go!
Favorite subjects in school: I always liked the word gubernaculum and ovarian fossa! It’s a good thing they were questions on the test then since I just learned them because they were cool nouns.
CD or TAPE? While the CD can go a long way when you throw it, the tape just has more stuff to get smashed so I'm gonna go with the tape.
Animals: Yes animals do in fact exist. Otherwise we would all have to be vegetarians and that would be a very sad world indeed.
Broken the law? Nah I only sprained it and had to wear a brace for a few weeks.
Gone skinny-dipping?: It's a lot of fun when you're in Antarctica in the dead of winter!
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? No, but I did try making myself laugh once to get out of trouble. That didn't go over too well actually.
First Thing That Comes To Mind: I am Bender, please insert girder.
FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT
Boxers or briefs: I got bit by a boxer once. Oh you mean the underwear. What on guys? Oh come on what girl out there actually thinks briefs are sexy? The same that also really enjoy back hair, got ya.
Long or short hair: Long hair is just asking to get caught in a jet engine. Why do I spend my time near jet engines? No reason, do de do . . .
Tall or short: He he he, never really cared. Certainly don’t need to be four inches taller than me so I can wear heels, mostly because I should never wear heels. Unless that assassin job finally comes through
Six pack or Built arms? Ew, neither. Nothin quite like a little tummy, and normal arms. Really built arms are just wrong.
Good or bad guy: Um, is funny, sweet a choice? No, well who the hell wants a bad guy? With a good guy you get to use bleach on all the white clothes. He he he
Ears pierced or not: I don’t even have mine pierced, I guess I never understood the appeal of extra holes.
Tan or fair: What does tan have to do with whether they cheat or not? So gonna go with fair, though living in Nebraska only used to Tan people in the summer. If you see someone in the winter they are labeled an Oompa Loompa.
Stubble or neatly shaved: Eh, though beards are bad. Carpet burn can be fun. And I shall just stop there.
Studly or cute: Cute, definitely cute, because who wants a bit of crap in a wall?
FOR GUYS TO FILL OUT (for guys only)
Regular underwear or thong: (Owie owie owie)
Painted nails or not: (What about painted screws)
Bra or sports bra: (I never knew so many guys wore bras, at least enough to warrant them knowin the difference between a bra and a sports bra)
Cute n' mysterious or wild n' sexy: (Where did the a and d go?)
Dressy or casual: (What about a casual dress, like one made out of burlap or canvas?)
Dark or blonde hair: (Ah yes here goes the big boobs blonde hair ones)
Long or short hair: (Just remember, jet engine)
Dark or light eyes: (What about squid eyes, or bat eyes?)
Long or short nails: (Shesh this survey must be obsessed with hammers or something)
Hat or no hat: (Hat’s are a major option?)
Good or bad girl: (What about a girl good at being bad? Let’s see some more options here people!)
Stick or curvy: (This thing is getting more and more like placing an order. I’d like a burger with onion rings not fries)
Hair up or down: (Remember Jet engine)
Jewelry or none: (Butterflies or Air craft carriers?)
Tall or short: (Come on where’s the stubble or clean shaven?)
Curly or straight hair:
Pants or dress: (On this issue no one other than Jamie Farr should wear a dress)
Tan or fair: (Good cop, bad cop)
Freckles or none: (Turkey or soup)
Pretty indoor chick or party chick: (So parties can only be held outside?)
Shy or outgoing: (I can’t believe it’s not butter)
White or Chocolate milk? I love white milk, chocolate is just too rich for my blood. Though apparently it mixes well with Mt. Dew. Who knew?
Are you better at talking or listening? Well once I get out of these restraints then I will be able to talk, til then better just stick with listening.
Vanilla or Chocolate? ‘Nilla because you can put lots of cool stuff on it like fudge or sprinkles or tuna.
Skiing or Boarding? Boarding what? A plane? A train? A boat?
Day or Night? Yes that is a Cole Porter song. Anything else?
Summer or winter: Considering this damn weather is gonna keep me stuck in Norfolk for longer than I want to be, give me summer! Now!
Cake or pie?: I like pie!
Silver or gold?: They don’t make songs about silver, though maybe they should, it could be like Ebony and Ivory.
Diamond or pearl? I know one comes from a disturbed mollusk and another from some squished carbon, so why do I care?
Sunset or Sunrise? Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, sunrise, (Crash) Mental note don't do anything!
Do you have any piercings? No my body has a thing about new holes, it’s not a big fan.
What's your favorite color?: Hm looking at my room I see a lot of blue a touch of green and then more blue. Guess. Yes it’s orange, moron.
Do you wear any rings? No rings are evil and must be destroyed. Fine, I’ll stop reading Tolkien, but I swears it is not affecting me, My precioussss.
Do you hate any one?: Depends. Who am I allowed to hate?
What are your favorite music persons and/or bands? Got to love Louie that guy on the corner with a few beer bottles he chucks at the ground. Just beautiful.
What do you dream about? Things which usually make no sense. Job interviews in Mordor, Theaters, though nothing about Sims.
Who is the loudest person you know? Probably me, I really need to fix my volume control one day.
Who's the quietest person you know? My editor because he lives on my escape key and is too small for his voice to be perceived by human ears. It’s a nice working agreement, he can talk all he wants and I just ignore him anyway.
One least likely to respond: Why is one least likely to respond? Is it so much better than the other numbers. Huh.