Monday, November 24, 2008

Gray Saturday

I am one of those crazy people who views Holiday shopping as something to be done long before anything holidayish is out.

Normally I start working on Christmas shopping as soon as November comes around and am done by the 2nd (if I'm really debating something maybe by the 3rd.). A lot of this is due to the fact that I really don't like shopping, I hate crowded stores, I hate long lines at the checkout, and no one should enjoy parking lots in snowy weather with all that black slush and ice threatening your every step.

This year the wedding has really messed up my usual shopping habits sadly. For some reason it just hasn't felt real to me. It seems like we just missed Halloween somehow and are floating around in time and space. So around about the time that November was just about to leave it finally got into my head that I need to find gifts and wrapping paper and possibly some sugar plum faeries to staple to presents.

So this past weekend I set out with my husband in tow to find everyone's christmas present (that wasn't already purchased on the honeymoon or through our good friend Mr. Internet). It shouldn't be too bad, right; after all it's a week before black friday when everyone starts putting their all into it.

Boy was I wrong.
Apparently along with some radio stations starting to play christmas music as soon as November comes roaring in like a turkey stores are beginning to think that Black Friday needs its own second holiday. A day that is a mere shell of its original but still terrifying to claustrophobics.

I call is Gray Saturday and it must stop. Black Friday is a tradition to many families. For some it involves scouring the ads on Thursday then getting up at an unholy hour to go stand in a cold parking lot, for mine it involves holing up in the house full of leftovers with the door boarded up to keep any shopping zombies out.

But now all of a sudden Santa is sledding in the week before, the stores are advertising their Quesadilla makers as half off and the bell ringers are out in full army force. I'm pretty sure that if you don't leave the mall with at least one bag the bouncers send you back in til you find something worth buying.

I say we need to claim back Black Friday. Santa suits cannot be put into jolly fat men's hands until the day before Thanksgiving, bell ringers must keep their knockers covered until the first sign of a snowflake, and if a single store has a major door buster sale I'll personally show up with a flame thrower and ask them nicely to stop.

Then I can go back to being the only insane one buying Christmas presents early.

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