Friday, August 29, 2008

Just for the stalker in you

There's a weird new thing blogger will let you do.

Apparently if you want to proclaim your love of a blog you can stalk them, or follow them, or something like that.

Well I figured it might be fun to see if anyone out there really enjoyed my wackiness.

If you have a blogger account all you have to do is click the "Follow this blog" up in the corner.

And for our first stalker, Valerie from totally imbalanced who has a cute cat and is getting married in 21 days, I give you a huge ice cream sundae.

And for any of those batman or Lego fans out there, it's less than a month til Lego Batman! My guy is really excited for it, I just will have to figure out how to make Robin be cooler than he really is.

Everyone else I hope you have a good and relaxing Labor Day. We're gonna celebrate by cleaning out our apartment, and maybe have some crab legs (tasty tasty crab legs).

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Not so Tactful RSVP

As the wedding draws ever near many brides begin to worry about the head count. More specifically they worry about how they are going to pry the RSVP cards they stamped and addressed out of their relatives cold clammy hands.

They are not alone.

We're waiting on about 81 people. So far only 50 people have confirmed (it's kinda spooky as its exactly 50 and exactly 50 have said no so far).

That 81 can be a major tipping of either we'll have a very empty church or we'll have to rethink the table layout at the reception as well as have to get way more bags of candy.

And I can't place any blame on my guy at all as it's all my family (farmers, nuff said). A part of me really is beginning to suspect that they think they are supposed to turn in the card when they show up for the wedding (almost like they need some paperwork for entrance or to prove they are who they say they are), or perhaps they think that the cards are just the right size for holding a piece of gum or acting as a coaster.

Regardless, I am coming to the stress breaking point where I shall have to phone, e-mail, or carrier pidgeon them to find out if they are really coming or are just gonna hide in their home and hope the wedding goes away.

RSVP or the cat gets it!

A lot of women tend to add stress on top of stress (never a good idea as stress doesn't balance well) and fret over how to form a very nice and kind way of asking people "Are you Fucking coming or not?"

Well I am not so tactful and instead came up with this idea of a simple plea:

"Dear related pain in the ass,

You rememeber that little pile of papers you got from us a month ago? It wasn't just a way of testing out the mail service, we're honestly going to be getting married.

Okay, so maybe you haven't gotten married in the last half century but things are a bit different now. We're spending tons of money for this thing. Money that could be better spent. We've been pulling our hair out deciding who to invite and you made the cut. (See that's why you got that thing with the stamp on it.) The least you could do is tell us if you'll grace us with your presence so we don't waste money on food and various other stuff.

Just fill out that cute little card that pleads with you to send it in with your name, check either yes or no, and drop it in the mailbox.

If we do not hear from you soon, a monkey will do unspeakable things to your birdbath.

Thank you,

The very angry Bride and scared Groom."


One thing that my MIL has been working on for the wedding are the ring bearer pillows. She likes to sew and I thought that it would be a really great craft project for her.

I didn't want those really fancy and frilly white ones, and since everything else in blue and green why not keep the trend going. I had no idea it could be so complicated..

Early in the year she bought some green and blue fabric and was all set to make the pillows. Then at some point someone tried to convince her that the pillow just HAD to be white (we have our suspicions who it is).

Well, when she showed me what she had made and mostly my face as I looked at the pillows with all the frilly white embrodery stuff (she'd just boughten a pillow and attached ribbons) she agreed with me that it wasn't really right.

So she went back to the original plan and came up with these really soft and cute pillows (our one ringbearer at first wasn't so thrilled with them but as he got used to it he was really excited and pulled the fake rings off twice).

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

At least it's edible

The day after the pipe cleaner shower, me and my MOH attempted to make our version of a Chicago style hot dog for the groom's cake (this is what we called a dry run, though in reality we had one hell of a watery mess all over the place).
This is our inspiration
To make it even more of a challenge our wedding coordinator and her fiance wanted to come and watch us try to make this thing along with my old roommate. So we had a full apartment watching me make an ass out of myself.
The first thing that I did way back was actually make the cake part. I used a loaf pan to bake the cake and then put it in the freezer for a few days to make it easier to handle. On the day of, I pulled the freezing cold thing out and started to carve it to look like a hot dog.
My MOH had the brilliant thought to use our vegetable peeler to make the curves of the hot dog. It worked out a lot better than me using our bread knife (which caused a nice gash on my finger before I switched).
Meanwhile she made some icing (and by some I mean more icing than a herd of 4th graders can eat) as well as started the rice krispie bun and I began the horrible horrible experience of trying to use fondant. We'd gotten some simple colored stuff from the local Hobby Lobby that was not in the mood to cooperate.
I swore and sweated trying to get the thing to roll out and also keep it from breaking (I failed a lot). We got the hot dog part covered pretty well but that bun was gonna be impossible, we just didn't have enough fondant in one color. So one side was yellow and the other orange.Meet our play-doh hot dog. The colors on the box had looked much more toned down and well more hot dog colored, but upon pulling it out we realized that it was actually a neon pink, orange and yellow.
But we kept plugging along. We had lots of other toppings to add, my old roomate smooshed up some lime jello with pineapple in it to make the relish while I added the tomatoes (cherry pie filling).
My MOH frosted a cookie with different colored green icing (I managed to dye one of my fingers bright green while messing with the food dye). Those were put on top to be the cucumber slice. The less we talk about the "pickle" the better.
This is the final product (minus the poppy seeds) and well we learned a lot of stuff. For one only the hot dog is gonna be covered in fondant, two we're leaving the pickle off, and three we're gonna make stronger rice krispies by mashing them up (also if I am anywhere near dye I have to wear gloves).

The only thing left to do was to try eating it. Oh man you want to talk about a sugar overload, we all only got through some of the cake before we had to give up. It's sad but I think it looked a lot better after we'd cut into it.

Well now I just have to try to make it again all by myself the wedding week. I'm insane aren't I?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

When Organization Fails You

Anyone who's been doing this wedding planning stuff for a while realizes that at some point your house/apartment is going to be over ridden with flowers, favors, any manor of decorating DIY stuff, and anything else that is required to have a wedding these days.

Well I am one of those people where after a while I can only take so much of the mess and then I just HAVE to clean it or organize it. This generally involves a lot of tossing of things that no longer serves its use but alas we still have 2 months til that stuff will do anything (aside from collecting dust which it is top notch at).

But then I had the brilliant thought of putting everything inside of a giant cardboard box (that used to contain our grill and had wedding stuff on it before and after we put it up).
Of course not everything would fit inside that box so I left out some stuff for scrapbooking (which I had just finished for the shower deux) as well as the large box that had contained our invitations (and now just contains any piece of important paper that we don't want to lose) and stuff to make the real groom's cake (which I'll share the sad sad attempt tomorrow). The eyeballs are just a fun Halloween decoration we picked up and are entertained with.

I was feeling pretty smart with myself getting so much stuff off the top and into the box, and it was just perfect for about 20 minutes. Okay maybe 30 if we're being nice. Then I had to get into it to dig out my necklace for the fitting.

So I had to pull all the stuff off top, open up the box and rumage around. Then after finding what I want, put it all back together.

I think I have done that a good 30 times since putting everything in the box. I've realized that when it comes to weddings it's better to just scatter everything all around and across the furniture. Trying to be neat is just a fruitless endevaour sure to make one mad.

A quick glance inside the box
So if you have someone complaining about just how much space the wedding stuff is taking up or even you feel bad for the mess, don't. Trust me, having that huge mess makes getting your hands on that one example of the program you need to hammer out your own details or that special basket you made and your FMIL just has to see when she randomly dropped by so much easier.

After the wedding you can finally box it all up and save it, or sell it, or if you're really tired of the mess have a bonfire on your front lawn. For now, just take a deep breath and remind yourself it could be a lot worse, you could have a newborn as well (if you do have a newborn and are planning a wedding you get a tip of my hat).

Monday, August 25, 2008

Fun in the shower

Okay so not that kind of fun.
I know that shower recaps can be rather dull to read (and sometimes to attend) but my MOH and my fiance came up with a really fun idea (that you can all pinch if you so choose).
She'd had a very intricate and impossible to do game all planned out and upon realizing that there was no way we could do it we all had to start brain storming ideas for something for people to do.

Then my guy suggested getting some black and white pipe cleaners.

And from that came the idea of having each guest make her own cake topper with the pipe cleaners. It was a throw back to the days of kindergarten when you're just given some supplies and allowed to be as creative as you want.

Here are some of the final creations.

I made the little groom and my MOH did the rest

This is my guys, though he also made a pipe cleaner dove.

The giant one with the groom's foot going into the bride's dess was my Mom's. We were all busting a gut laughing at the idea of the poor guys foot getting caught in her hoopskirts.

In hindsight though, we may have been dying of laughter due to the fact that it was a cheese and wine party. Regardless it's much more fun than being poked full of clothespins or having to TP the bride. Oh wait they did that to me as well.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I need bigger boobs!

Today was my first fitting and I am happy to say that all it needs is a bit of shortening of the straps (that or I will have to get a much bigger chest or smuggle puppies in) and a slight hemming of the chiffon layer (it is really easy when you are 5'7" to get a dress).

After reading about how alterations can cost a bride almost the same as my dress I was so happy to find out it would only cost me $45. Not to mention it was a quick 10 minutes to get pinned in. At the same time my guy was next door getting measured for a tux and I was done before him.

I really could not tell you any more just how happy I am to have a bridesmaid dress. It cost a lot less, it breathes much better, and alterations are a good 75% less than a bridal gown.

I suppose I can share a picture though this is pre-strap raising. More proof that this thing is really gonna happen in less than 2 months. Ep!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Here comes the bride

A long long while back my Future Mother-in-Law had found one of those little rhinestone things that spells "bride" for under a dollar. I really didn't know what to do with it for quite some time (there were thoughts of a GoodWill trip but that got nixed in favor of sanity).

I've never understood those tank tops that say things like Bridesmaid and Maid of Honor. So you can only wear it once and you can't even really wear it while getting ready what with it being a tank top and you don't want to pull something over your head when you have super fancy hair? Seems like a big waste to me.

This weekend when we had to take a stop at Michaels for, um, I really can't remember why now, but while I was trying to hunt down a toddler I saw something that got me thinking on what to do with those little bridey jewels.

I had to make a stop to Target to get myself a nice black hoodie and then drag out the iron.

This is the final product:

I wanted something with either buttons or that zips up so I can easily get into and out of it while having my hair all piled up and nice like, but I'd also want something I can wear again. What with us getting married in October and honeymooning ina not warm place, a cozy hoodie made more sense than getting a button up shirt.

Plus I have an extra spider, so when I get tired of the "bride" I can take it off and put on a cute spider instead. It'll also be something nice to pull out right around halloween every year.

Has anyone else made something a bit different from the ol' "Mrs. Such and such" or even a simple "bride?"

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Wedding Quizzes

When I am a bit bored and want to be entertained I like taking random Internet quizzes.

Here's a good pile of wedding related ones.
You like dresses that aren't as modern as the ones today. You love the classic look of this dress, and it really sets off your beauty. This classic look is brought to the modern day with the tiara on your head. Can you say perfect? (No, I don't think that's even close to my idea of a dress. I really want to be able to get into and out of a car).

(No text here but well at least there's sort of blue or maybe purple in there)

And for those who are interested in their astrology having an effect on their dream wedding.

You scored 46.2% Refreshing Air
As someone with Air Energy in your birth chart (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius), you eschew tradition and favor putting your own unique mark on your wedding. Your wedding day isn't about the details -- you couldn’t care less if the icing on your wedding cake matches the color of the napkins -- but about the love you are celebrating. You don't have a specific vision of how the day will look, but you know that you want the event to be relaxed and casual. Expressing your personality is important to you; whether it's having your brother and best male friends serve as your "bridesmaids," writing your own vows and choosing your favorite poems to be read or giving your bouquet to the longest-married couple in lieu of the traditional toss to the single women, you show that you aren't afraid to be yourself. Your innovative wedding is sure to be memorable, and may even start some new trends!

Well most of these are nothing close to what we're doing but at least they tried. I hope you all have some fun letting the internet plan your wedding for you.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A Nine letter word

I have come to loath this word. Hearing it mentioned makes me taste ash in my mouth and cause little beads of sweat to form on my brow.

It's been known to throw grown women into hysterics and create tons of money for old ladies who have nothing better to do (It even has more power than "tacky").

I speak, of course, of etiquette.

It's sad but before this whole wedding thing I used to think it was spelled ettiquete or possibly etiqueete, or more likely bullshit. Now I know not only how to spell it but also how to invoke it.

If someone thinks that you have to invite your aunt Mildred and her three kids to not only the wedding and reception but also the rehearsal dinner and to a brunch after she'll just pull out the ol' trusty Emily Post and beat you over the head with it.

Go ahead and try it sometime. Just go up to someone and get them to do the dumbest thing imaginable, "Of course you are going to put enough candles all over the place to create a fire hazard," and as they're staring at you as though you've just grown a third head just say "it's etiquette."

I've already run into my fair share of people bounding about the word, but what kills me the most is that there are no set rules. Ann Flanders didn't climb up Mount Good Manners and get handed stone tables saying "Ye shall honor thy guests with an expensive favor." No, instead people just sort of make it up as they go along.

You wouldn't believe the differences between big city and small town etiquette. For small towns (especially poor farmers) listing on your invitation where you are registered is just common sense, and no one has to RSVP as you can just walk down to the grocery store the day before and ask Mabel who all said they'd show up.

I'm sure many of you have heard a much different tune from your various mothers, grandmothers, and busy body neighbors.

How is it that etiquette has gotten such power over the years? Honestly, I think that invoking it will cause more tears than accusing someone of committing a sin (stealing all your wedding plans is about the same, however).

I'm sorry but just like tacky that word is going into my no fly zone. I can't please everyone all the time and rather than fretting that someone is going to be put off by the fact that the chairs aren't all covered in a fancy damask I'm instead just going to focus on having a good time.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I am permenantly orange

Friday night after the hair trial my MOH got in for the weekend with her son.

While he and my fiance were busy playing "do you know where my shirt comes from" we started to make mints for the wedding.

We have a very simple a lazy way of making mints.

Step 1: Melt some almond bark in a microwave or a crockpot.

Step 2: Attempt to turn melted almond bark a pretty color and add some Mint flavor.
Step 3: Realize that the powdered dye you got for the almond bark is going everywhere so now all you touch is orange.

Step 4: Have your friend scoop out the colored minty bark into some molds.
Step 5: While you use a pumice stone on your hands she can put the trays into the freezer.

Repeat steps til all the almond bark is gone or your hands are now a gorgeous brown vomit color.

We did also have an interesting time of the red ones, we started out using burgandy powdered food dye which made the bark look like blueberry yogurt. As we were definetly not going for that color we started adding more and more dye so that in the end I added just enough red and orange so that it looked like chocolate as opposed to something else that is brown and not appetizing. (We did use chocolate almond bark as well, that was by far the tastiest)

It wasn't til sunday that we finally found a food dye perfect for almond bark. It has to be oil based, so if you want to try doing this for your wedding or any other get together make sure you find some oil based dyes or you'll have a big mess on your hands.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Yer on Trial!

This weekend was one hell of a whirlwind. I think I have enough material to last me for a month of posting.

So in order to keep it simple and sane I'll start with Friday night and then move on from there.

Let's see, after hanging out with my big flowergirl and having some tasty Mexican food we hunkered down and started a hair trial. All I told her was I wanted some up, some down and to stick a veil in there. Otherwise she had free range to do whatever she wanted.

It began okay, she got a text message from her Dad who was incredibly bored waiting for tires to be put on his truck (this was a big deal as it was the first text he'd ever sent). Then we needed a hair tie and alas the only one I had was hidden way back in my closet so with her holding onto some of my hair we had to walk around the chair to turn around, head back to the bedroom, lean down, pick up a suitcase, put it on the bed, dig through it and come back to the chair.

And I had to announce every step of the way so that when I went to bend down she'd go with me otherwise she'd have a nice lock of my hair I don't think she wanted.

She got to a pretty scary start after the hair tie.But then my flowergirl worked her magic and made something that I haven't really seem much anywhere else and I like a lot. It looks like me but is still kinda fancy.A lot more fun information to come during the week including: "Making mints and why my hands are now orange," "Only 3 people showed up to my shower," and "We finally attempt the groom's cake."

It may come out slowly as I also start the new job tomorrow, but I promise all the pictures are just too good to not share.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Wedding What If

"What If Machine, what would my wedding be like is there were no traditions or laws or common sense we had to follow. I guess it's just expected that money is no object, oh and I don't want to be turned into some kind of mutant turkey either."

First rather than holding the ceremony in some stuffy church we'd have it in the middle of the woods, at night, with lots of candles around. We might even invite Smoky the Bear to stand by with a fire extinguisher.

We'd forgo an officiant and just marry ourselves (assuming smoky can't stand in) with just a handful of friends there to watch us. They'd have all been invited there thanks to our super cool monster movie poster invitations.
I'd also skip over this whole you must have a big fancy white dress and instead dig around in my closet the day of and pull out a blue dress, oh and I'd also realize that I don't have any shoes and have to go barefoot, shuckey darns. The reception will just be held wherever there's a dry spot in the woods and for dinner we'll all have Chicago deep dish pizza and Nebraska Runza's. There will be no arguments over open bars and favors or how tacky certain decorations are as nature will do most of the decorating herself and oh, what the hell, provide the booze as well.

As for our honeymoon, we'd head off to London so my guy can get himself a bowler and I can get myself a cool fedora. Then we can just run around pretending we're in the Avengers.

Alas all those pesky trappings of time, money, and expectations keep us out of the woods (not to mention the fact that Nebraska has a whole 3 trees. There's a reason we started arbor day). But maybe some day when we're bored or feeling weirdly romantic I can throw on some random dress and we can pretend we're being married by a giant bear that is really against forest fires.

Okay What if Machine, now show me what it'd be like if life was a video game.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bucking tradition

I am a history nerd. I am that annoying person who knows random facts about Russian tsars (or csars if you prefer) and will regularly sit down and read books called "The history of fill in blank." I think what I like most about history is that you learn more and understand better why we do the things we do.

It also helps if you in an argument if you are going against the grain to show why you do or don't want to do something. So for anyone else like us that's doing something a bit different here are where all those silly requirements and superstitions come from.

If you really don't want to have bridesmaids dressed all alike and your mother is just freaking out over it just tell her that in the Roman time it was law that all the bridesmaids and THE BRIDE wear the same dress so that evil spirits would not know who was the bride and spirit her off. So unless she's big into letting you wear that big pink taffeta bow extravaganza to your own wedding she'd just better let your friends wear whatever they want.

Along those lines, if you love color and actually want to wear a dress that has some and people are freaking out thinking it will mean you are a loose woman just point out that it wasn't until recently that women even started to wear white dresses. All the blame can be put on Queen Victoria who decided to wear a long white gown with a train to her wedding and that pesky little era called The Victorian age lead to a whole bunch of women trying to copy her. In reality blue is considered the pure and virginal color from way back when. After all what color of clothes is the Virgin Mary always painted as wearing? It ain't white.

The bouquet has a lot of uses and traditions. It was first carried to again ward off evil spirits (apparently evil spirits have nothing better to do than hang around having a smoke waiting for weddings to start). It was believed that strong smells would cure anything (hence the idea of the poem Ring Around the Rosie for guarding against the black death, though it wasn't really) so brides actually carried a bouquet mix of both flowers and herbs (which actually sounds kinda cool in retrospect, maybe I'll jam some basil into mine).

The bouquet and garter toss have more nefarious origins. Even though the bride was plagued by evil spirits and about to be attacked at any moment during or before the ceremony she magically became full of good luck after getting married. And people wanted this, so they'd actually go up and tear pieces off of the brides dress. Naturally the bride was very pissed off about this (as a wedding dress was not a dress to be worn once til that pesky Queen Victoria) and to try and get away she'd throw her garter and/or bouquet so the couple could make a quick getaway and the bride wouldn't wind up naked.

The best man is actually called that as the groom upon capturing his bride would need his best swordsman (hence where the name comes from) to keep the family at bay until the marriage was consummated. It's also why the bride is on the left side so the groom can use his right hand to fight anyone off.

The tradition that we are totally bucking is the whole the groom can't see the bride before the wedding (he's already seen pictures of me in my dress, he's going with me to the fitting, and we have most of the wedding day planned together). It has some not so nice origins as a lot of this. In the days of arranged marriages you wouldn't want your bride or groom to get a look at each other before it was too late just in case they didn't like what they saw and ran off. This tradition more than the others really bothers me as some people will all but throw a fit if you don't follow it and won't think about why it's there.

Which makes me laugh as a tradition most people don't follow now is the idea that mirrors can cause bad luck (which the theory of how it traps a bit of your soul is actually interesting to think of if you picture those who look at mirrors too much) to befall a bride so she must never see herself in one on her wedding day. I can about imagine how that would go now. "I'm sorry dear but you can't know if we didn't make you look like a clown or not, it's bad luck."

There are about a billion different traditions and customs to a wedding as most rituals develop over the years so if I've sparked your interest do some digging. Like a lot of history it is a challenge reading through the lines and finding the real story but it's certainly worth it.

And if you are just looking for the point for the something old . . . something blue poem the sixpence stands for wealth.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Sing, sing a song

One of the great things about having connections with people is how easy it's made the wedding planning process.

I also know where they all live so they can't screw me over as easily (there's got to be a lot more thought and subterfuge thrown in and it's so much work why bother). Along with me having pizza with my wedding coordinator and a pretty laid back time to planning, my Matron of Honor can hook me up with some DJ equipment.

So after visiting her for the wonderful wedding learning experience she handed me a sheet for all the dances we should come up with for the reception.

Here in Youtube form are our choices for some and big ol' blanks for others.

Our Newlyweds Arrival song. We may as well get it out of the way early.

We're still a bit torn on the first dance. I was thinking something ala the ol' crooners would be fun to dance to and we wouldn't just look like we're in junior high. So after some convincing I think we might go with this.

All (but one) of our wedding party members is in a serious relationship, engaged, or married. So we were thinking for the bridal party dance we'd want something fast and fun and not awkward.

My fiance has been pushing for one song he does want to dance to, and so this is sort of our lead in to everyone dancing with their SO's.

The cake cutting song (though I don't know why it needs one):

The bouquet toss song:

And because I am a big band nut this had to be the last song (though ours will be Glenn Miller):

We still have a few more to go, and if anyone has any good suggestions for a Mother/Son dance please tell me. I have no idea at all.

EDITED to ADD: We have picked a mother/son and father/daughter dance. It's really simple and not very long

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Rocking some new duds

I am no fashionista. I think my color palate for clothes is generally blue, more blue, some light grays, and then more blue.

But some messing around on Target's website I found a dress that I just loved the look of and the reviews were all great so I ordered it and hoped and prayed it would fit. (I loathe on-line size charts as they are never right most of the time).I got it in yesterday night and I am happy to say that it fits perfectly. It's also insanely comfortable, light but not too light, with a very sturdy zipper. Though the picture makes the background look white it's actually a really light pink, I'm not too crazy about it but it does look nice.

For me though, the all time best feature are the pockets. I love this trend of actually putting pockets in women's clothes. Why can't more people jump on it? After all guys get huge deep ones in everything. (Going dress clothes shopping always used to make me think of an exchange from a book called "Monstrous Regiment" where a woman had dressed up as a man to fight in a war and before going back to being a girl she says "Pockets, the one thing we need to keep are pockets.")

This dress might make an appearance for our rehearsal (if I'm not so busy running around like a chicken with my head cut off) or I can use it for a wedding that is two weeks after my own. But it's so comfy it might make a few other appearances.

What fashion finds have you guys made for all those other parties, be it a shower/engagement party/other shower/or rehearsal dinner?

Monday, August 11, 2008

Monkey see, Monkey Don't

This weekend I attended a wedding that, well, let's just say I learned a whole lot on what not to do. So I was thinking that I'd share that knowledge with you so we can um all celebrate in the knowledge of learning something.

  • #1. If you ask someone to help out in your wedding do not, I repeat do not, send them only a facebook invitation and never bother with a paper. I was asked to do guestbook but all I got was a quick invite to the facebook event. It was only for the ceremony even so as I wasn't invited to it I didn't go to the reception.
  • #2. If you are gonna make your bridal party be with you early in the morning for hair and then have pictures start 3 hours before the ceremony feed them! We were smart and went to Subway so all the bridesmaids were complaining about how hungry they were and when they saw us walk by carrying our sandwiches I was sure there'd be a hyena attack. Luckily someone thought to order pizza, and let me tell you you do not want to get between a hungry bridesmaid and pizza. I was sure I was gonna be crushed to death by satin.
  • #3. If you do in fact ask someone to be in your wedding talk to them, tell them where they are supposed to go or what they are supposed to do. The bride didn't say a word to me, so I just sat around watching the kids in the wedding and the guestbook watched itself. (For those ladies doing the 100 pushups thing you can also work your forearms just by carrying around a sleeping 1 year old. My arms still hurt).
  • #4. Kids, they need naps. For gods sake don't make them stand around cranky having picture after picture taken. Instead plan to either have their pictures taken early so they can get in a quick one, or take them last so they've been up a bit before the wedding. Also do not let them run around like little hell spawn climbing all over everything as something is gonna rip and someone is gonna fall.
  • #5. Do not change your plans midstream and not tell anyone. This happened not once but three times while we were there. First the bride had planned on riding out on a flatbed with hay bales and as her father was getting things all hooked up and loading up the hay one of the bridesmaids told him she'd changed her mind and wasn't gonna do it. Second there was a big hoopdedo about pew bows. The bride was borrowing some pew bows and at first they just sat in a box while all the pictures were being taken, then after that the bridal party rushed to put them up before the guests could sit down. I still don't know if she wanted them or not. Finally and the worst of them all, two days before the wedding they hired a second photographer and failed to tell the other that they didn't want her. So there were two photographers running around and the one first hired was a family friend who was worried about getting in the way.
  • #6. If you forget to make something the day of the wedding do not improvise. I shit you not, but they had some bubbles there and someone took a sharpie marker and on a cardboard box wrote "Please Take One" and then ripped that piece of cardboard off and stuck it behind the bubbles. I wish I'd had a camera at that point just to prove it.
  • #7. Let the kids in the wedding get used to their props. They didn't think to bring the flowergirls basket or the ring bearers pillow til the day of and the kids didn't see it til right before they had to walk down the aisle. They're both 3 so of course they refused to hold them and it was only with some thinking outside the box on my part could we get them down the aisle (my fiance and I walked the ring bearer down, and probably made some really bad pictures).
  • #8. Have someone you can trust as best man. They actually tied the real rings to the pillow. So they trusted a 3 year old more than a grown man.
  • #9. If you're gonna have them, make up your own programs. The bride actually didn't bother and the church did, so her own sister was left off along with me and a few other people who she'd asked to do stuff and then didn't bother to talk to.
  • #10. Replacements are a bad thing. She had a bridesmaid that she knew might not be able to make it to the wedding due to a flight that wasn't gonna get in til one hour before the wedding and that day she found out was gonna get in long after the wedding (and probably reception) were over. So rather than just let one groomsman walk alone she shoved a candlelighter into a bridesmaid dress and had one other candlelighter's sister light some candles. I would loathe being a replacement bridesmaid cause the whole time you know you're up there on a technicality.
I am happy to say that after watching this catastrophe unfurl we have a good plan of attack. We've planned pictures around naps, we know what we're gonna feed our friends, and most of all I'll try to thank everyone who was there for me and not just assume everyone knows what is going on in my brain.

Oh yeah and for #11. If you are the mother of the groom do not wear a dress that could easily be an ivory wedding dress with red heels. It makes you look like an ass.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Candle Addict

I'll admit it, I am addicted to Yankee Candle. My best friend and I would go out of our way to just smell all the candles and compare which ones we liked and which ones were just awful (personally any that reeked of perfume or smelled like guy soap were vetoed but the fresh grass was amazing).

I got their latest Halloween catalogue and I fell in love with some of the candle accessories.

If anyone else is planning a Halloween wedding like we are this is just too perfect.
It's a Bride and Groom taper holder. They even have some of those blood dribbling ones you can add (though I am sure you could get cheaper elsewhere, just don't tell them I said that).

As for me, I am gonna get myself the Autumn Leaves candle for a fall scent at the reception and maybe this cool thing (more for our house than anything else).

Friday, August 8, 2008

Something, something, something, something BLUE!

I haven't gotten very far in the old poem (I especially have no idea how I'd go about shoving six pints into my shoe) but if there is one thing we'll have covered during our wedding it's the something blue (so I think that means we'll live in a shack by the ocean or I may have played that MASH game wrong).

I thought I might be able to inspire some other brides about their something blue if I share all my pictures and ideas.

Let's see, starting at the easiest blue is the jewelry (I don't have any earrings due to a serious aversion my body has to new holes). I made myself a pretty simple blue necklace using that jewelry haven Here are just a few other options that won't have you eating ramen for a month (there's enough wedding stuff that will do that.) If there's one time you can pull off a large amount of blue in a necklace or bracelet it's your wedding.

I also have a navy garter that I got through one of the numerous wedding favor outlets (I think the one I got it through got rid of it). It's really easy to find the powder blue garters but if you're like me and like your blue to have a bit more bite there are a few other option than just baby blue.

Here's another navy one from Target, but if that isn't really your style you can always make your own with whatever shade of blue you like best.

The garter route is probably best for those brides that don't like blue but want to honor the poem, though I will never really understand you as blue is the most awesome color ever!

Along the jewelry route I have been making and wearing anklets for quite a while. It's just something simple I do with knots but I like the feel of having something to do that I can wear and most people won't really see.

For the wedding I made something a bit special by using the shiny silver floss to knot into my more usual blue and green. It's something for a bride who wants to keep the blue more hidden but isn't in the mood for a garter.

Keeping near the toes there are a few options. The first one is to fancy out your feet.
I have a sapphire blue nail polish that I love using on my toes every chance I get. I actually got it for $2 from Wal-Mart and it doesn't really chip that much or is hard to put on.

But if you want to go the nicer route OPI has a really gorgeous blue or a deeper sapphire for your tootsies.

I really loved all the pictures of brides with bright vibrant shoes.

But alas there is no way I can pull off or even stay up in a heel. Plus I'd already found those really nice sandals that don't have the killer middle toe thing and are actually comfy.

So out comes my paints. We already knew from some other projects that these are generally water proof. After using a very simple paper towel swipe method to create a less uniform paint job I covered it over with my clear nail polish to keep it secure.

The final and last bit of blue I have (aside from my engagement ring) is a slip of blue from my fiance's grandmothers dress. It's something to tie the families together more so I think I'll tie it around the little brooch on my dress (I swear that isn't a pun, okay maybe just a bit).

Hopefully someone got some inspiration from all this blue, and if there's anything you think I missed feel free to share.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

And in this corner

I am one of the least competitive people out there. Many times my best friend and I would play games til we tied and then called it good. I was never really "going to the mattresses" with any of my friends except one.

It all began when I started dating my fiance and she had latched onto the first guy who said yes to dating her (she would do anything she could to get a boyfriend). She started making snide comments about how I couldn't possibly love my guy as much as hers, there were even times she'd have to tell me icky intimate details I did not need to know just to lord over me how much more adult her relationship was I guess.

Well I couldn't take it all, (I think the final straw was when she started flirting with my guy even going so far as buying him a present when I was standing right there) and I just cut her out of my life. That was bad enough, but as I plan a wedding (something she so badly wanted) I am so thankful that she is not around to diss all our little plans and talk about how much better her wedding will be.

What is it about this whole "keeping up with the Joneses mentality?" Where does it come from that women have to one up each other? It amazes me sometimes just how good women are at cutting other women down, a well timed statement here, a glance of disgust there and you have your friend upset.

Somehow women can't move past the idea that the wedding is a reflection of them, that if it isn't perfect and expensive and the most unique party ever then they will never be worthwhile and will have failed somehow. A wedding is not the end all be all of your personality and public persona. There are a million better ways to show the world who you are than how much your wedding costs.

And what to do if you have a friend constantly asking you your wedding plans just so they can up the ante? Just stop telling them anything. Claim it's gonna be a surprise. Or if like me it just gets to be too much for you, you might want to think about doing some pruning.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


I'm busy trying to pull my hair out after a very VERY infuriating call with my mother.

She's been pulling a weird stunt where she'll go off and buy stuff for the wedding and then tell me about it later. (I've talked her out of the bright orange table cloths and crepe paper) Today she called about some floating candles she found, I was thinking she wanted them for the shower and then she went on about the reception.

Uh, let's see at this point we have pumpkins, baskets and candy on the tables. Anything more and people won't be allowed to eat. Oh but now she wants to hollow out the pumpkins and then float the candles in there, uh no, I don't want any leaking pumpkins. And there is no time to de-pulp 12 pumpkins.

Well that led to the real reason I am ripping my hair out right now. My Mother seems to have it in her mind that it is bad etiquette to call up people who didn't bother to RSVP. (I should mention that this is the same woman who thought that I should have put our registration information right onto our wedding invitations)

There's something I am missing here, I will be forking over tons of money so that these people can eat and drink and it's rude to expect them to send in a little card I already stamped for them and failing that call them so that we don't waste food and moolah?

I know my family, when it comes to parties involving me no one shows up. My confirmation had a whole three people there and the highschool graduation party it was just me and my friends. Everyone kept saying "Oh a wedding will be different." Yeah but let's just say there isn't a great track record here.

So I don't care what my mother seems to think I am gonna call everyone who was too lazy to send in an RSVP card just so that we don't have the poor caterers make up plates for people who can't be bothered to come and see me for another milestone.

Okay, I feel a bit better now. And I even have a few hairs left.