When you're alone
And life is making you lonely,
You can always go ach Dollar store!Where you're sure to find something for everyone, whether they want it or not.
For the luau goers in your life a bikini top made out of the hottest fashion material around: foam.Be warned, foam is not water resistant and will probably melt if you go near water.
If you're hoping to escape the heat by pretending it's actually Christmas these wide eyed children will glare down at you from atop your mantle and judge your soul to determine if you are worthy of your meager existence in this world:Looking for a deal that is only a bargain because no one in their right mind would buy it?
Try this once $12 shadowbox from none other than Hallmark:I love the realism of using old rags from the garage to simulate the t-shirt and shorts. Really makes me think of dank and moldy weight rooms in the basement of gyms where that weird guy who eats nothing buy whey powder lives.
If you're in the mood for some stereotypes you can get more than your fill at the Dollar Store. I love nothing more than perpetuating the myth that women only try to trap men into marriages to take away all their fun time and turn them into mindless workers:It's our only way of taking down both the beer and video game industry with one gigantic novelty whistle.
And when your husband isn't at your beck and call you could get this strange husband stress doll:I have no idea why you married a Mexican wrestler, but that's your own problem. You may want to look into some balsa wood furniture while you're here as well.
But to go with El Luchador you could get this snazzy purse made from the skin of one of the last wild Snagglepusses:Heavens to Murgatroyd, indeed! Now excuse me while I must Exit, Stage Left even!
If seeing a beloved cartoon character skinned alive and used to hold your chapstick isn't enough to terrorize your children til they're 30 and living in a gym eating whey powder how about this lovely cartoon book where Spider-Man has to fight off gigantism:
I don't want to give away the ending but I hear Doc Oc tries pulling his head off while Lizard has a nice game of Frisbee with Cyclops.
Whew, it's been a long day. I think I'll just take a little snack:And oh why not, I'll take that plate with a constipated hippo in black and white:Time to head home, reflect on all my wonderful purchases I got for one whole dollar, and sleep til it's time to run in my wheel:G'night!