Wednesday, August 26, 2009

That was weird

Back in college, I had this crazy idea to start a sort of writing/humor website with a good friend of mine. We called it Breaking Set and I had essays, reviews, clip art cartoon's about a town where nothing is to scale, puzzles with funny pictures and poems.

I am no poet, never totally got poetry and just dabbled to try and make a quick joke nothing serious at all. Today I got an e-mail asking me if some publication could print one of those old poems "Ode to My Computer."

First it's a shock that anyone even found it, this website is a good 8 years old. Second, it is so not one of my strong poems (out of a bunch of nerdlings to begin with). Not by a long shot.
Ode to My Computer

My magical gray box;
That sits by the window;
It brings me new information;
Unless my memory is low.

I diligently watch over;
My translucent motherboard;
Keeping out dangerous viruses;
So it does not overload.

Oh look a little message;
It is marked 'I love you'
It will not hurt to have a look.
My hard drive has gone askew!

My files are all locked!
A Skull and cross bones haunts my screen!
Sparks are shooting out of;
Where my head phones plug-in!

Why have you betrayed me,
My loving computer?
I cared for you and kept you clean;
Heck, I even kept you out of water.

Fine you want to be this way,
I have an answer to your villainy so low.
You want to stop listening to me;
Then you go through the window.

I much prefer the poem that comes after this one:

TV troubles

Bought a new TV
Installed it myself

It wouldn’t turn on
All the buttons did flash

So I boxed it back up
Sent it back to the store

Installed this new TV
With help from my neighbor

My picture did twitch
No signals were executed

This TV was so messed up
I touched the screen and was electrocuted

Turns out he did not know
What the hell to do

So while he was sleeping
I took his hand and drove in a screw

There are also poems devoted to rain, time, shopping, the moon and the sky:

Death of Winter

Fluffy white clouds
And a yellow sun
Are not allowed
Nice days are done
For winter is coming

The sun is blotted out
The sky is gone
It is time to pout
Put down that croissant
Winter is here

The clouds are clearing
Out comes the sun
My skin is warming
Spring has come
I liked it better when I could complain.

The Faerie Dance

The Elysian Fields
Where the faeries dance
Prance and Sing

I did stumble upon
On a Bright
And Blissful Day

Warmly was I
Welcomed among
My Winged friends

But suddenly
The little bastard
Did bite me

So with my mower
I sent those faeries
Straight to hell!
That last one got me a lot of spammer attention when I put it on Methinks the spammers never read it to the end and really don't want it in their nice book of giant poems.

It's such a wild blast from the past reading the things I came up with while waiting at the bus stop. I really should save all those up before yahoo yanks geocities tubes.

I'm not even going to pretend that any of it is good, but if you're curious what I got up to back when I was a fresh faced freshmen, here's the link to Breaking Set.

Have you ever had something you created years back suddenly thrust back into the spotlight when you least expect it?

1 comment:

Lindsey said...

Very good! I found an old journal when I was moving out of my parents' house and it had embarrassing entries from when I first met Garth, haha! But I still kept it for sentimental reasons!