Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Picture a Day - Day 286

When one gets married it almost feels Hallmark required to define your life in BM and AM (that is Before Marriage and After Marriage. They tried to sneak Before Marriage Era in there to be more PC but it just confuses everyone).

Such as "I used to stay out all night spray painting sidewalks before marriage" (just an example, but I may still do that AM if I so decided). Or "We both like to listen to Gregorian Chants backwards after marriage" (there's a really good recipe for butternut squash soup hidden there).

After a while it's pretty easy to forget that there ever was any recordable history BM and especially early BM. You get a good 10-15 years BM and we're talking dinosaurs roaming the earth stuck getting crappy jobs at rock quarries.

But my husbands BM life has been rearing its head and crashing into our happy little AM post modern world (can anyone really explain what post modern means? I just picture a bunch of people dressed like prairie school marms digging a new hole for the outhouse). When his parents dropped off his old bedrooms furniture they also dropped off all the stuff he'd saved as soon as those hording genes kicked in (somewhere between diapers and training pants).

I just threw up my hands and said that he can keep whatever he wants but I'm not going to be organizing it or putting it away. He also has a small deadline of winter as there's no way his car can get into the garage with all the boxes and crates of life's receipts in there.

But curiosity gets the better of me sometimes (or say, all the time) and I just have to wonder what was my husband like BM. What could have encouraged him to collect stuff like this?
Was he an early archaeologist? Deep in the Mayan jungle, humidity slicking back his normally wavy hair he dashed, dove, and whipped his way to the ultimate prize. In this case a souvenir of the Mayan Calendar.

Or maybe he's actually secretly a time traveler here to right what once and wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home. Back in the 60's while wandering around America he encountered a hippie who'd decided to cast off all his processions and was handed the camera and told Kodachrome would last forever.

Traveling even further back in time to the turn of the century was he the man who got a job in a barbers office and single handedly killed the mutton chop look by shaving them off Chester A. Arthur? Everyone was so impressed that he didn't look like a walrus anymore they awarded my husband the coveted frog statue award.

Taking up the crucifix perhaps he traveled with Saint Patrick to try and convert the Irish. He showed up just a touch late, but the natives admired his spunk and gave him a nice fish as compensation.

Or just maybe I have a husband who likes to collect random crap and can't throw anything away. There may or may not even be a love letter from his high school days sitting on our dresses. Mr. Coy won't admit to it.

Are you curious about your SO's things and mementos from his life before you? Do you like to try and guess just why he'd keep certain things? Is your husband a bit of a hoarder (it's pretty bad with him as there were still notes from gradeschool teachers tucked away in his room. But I did learn my husband was a big ol teachers pet, though like me they were horribly worried about the introvert because he dared to be shy)?

What's the weirdest thing your SO still has from his BM days of clubbing mammoths?


Chesney said...

Hilarious topic! The sad thing is, most men don't part w/ their treasures from BM....my husband has some hideous knick knacks and insists on still putting them out on a shelf in his office. I don't know if he really loves these items or is just doing it to annoy the crap out of me LOL

Leslie said...

Just look at my house. You'll see lots of random crap everywhere. For example, on top of the TV stand, there's still a full 1 gallon "keg" of budweiser (which he doesn't drink) that has a born on date shortly after we started dating 11 years ago.