I live with a blanket hog.
There, I said it. Now you know my shameful secret.
It didn't start out that way though. No, the first few days of sharing a bedroom together were great (well, relatively speaking). I stayed on my side and was free to cuddle up in my own blankets or toss them over the side when I got too warm.
Then the inevitable growth happened. Over the days and weeks where I once was able to roll over and roll back to my hearts content I now had to fight the good night fight to reclaim what once had been mine. And now I fear it's become a nightly occurrence.
And it's all because little Missy can finally get her head up on the bed and use those daggers to claw all my blankets down so she can sleep on them.You see that nice, lovely dog bed in the corner of the picture. Yeah, the only thing she uses it for is a scratching post. She'll exert all the energy to fluff it up and move the batting around then pull off my top blanket and sleep on that.
We started her out her first week with us in a laundry basket with a few towels thrown in. It was a pretty good puppy jail and as soon as she'd come back in from having to pee every two hours she'd go right back in to sleep. (well there was a bit of exploring of course but eventually she'd settle down. Okay so there was one time she went under the bed, got confused by the headboard and stood up getting herself stuck. She gave out the saddest whimper but we were able to fish her out pretty quickly trying to stifle the giggles.)
But she was growing leaps and bounds and a week in we bought her a nice doggie bed fearing she wouldn't fit in the laundry basket anymore.
But will Essie use it? Oh no, of course not. Why use a bed just for her when she could snuggle up with a nice warm blanket that smells like her owners.
I even gave her one of the many blankets we got from the wedding when I accepted the fact that she'll never use her dog bed. You'd think that it'd be enough for our little puppy but, alas, every middle of the night I wake up chilled searching for something to warm me up only to find a black shadow stretched out over what was once my duvet.
What can you do?
And for no reason here are some gratuitous pictures of puppies to annoy the censors and hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which -- it seems -- is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats. Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music. Goodnight.
We saw a lot of that pink tongue yesterday. Probably why she was so good the rest of the night.
Are you looking at me? Are you LOOKING AT ME?!
Oh you are. I better come over and lick your nose.And that's the latest update in Puppy Land. I'll keep you abreast if there is any change in the current situation. We think she may have discovered the even larger leaf pile and has taken it upon herself to slowly scatter all the leaves back around the yard.
We're also all hoping that the nails clipped in exchange for treats sanctions finally work.
This is Tick McFlea reporting for Puppy News. Goodnight and Good Dog.