I don't have much time to get this out but you may not hear from me again for many moons.
Yesterday while I was curled up on the couch with my husband tuning our lute and sewing some tapestries a loud twinkling met our ears. Suddenly a deep voice (we're talking James Earl Jones crossed with Christopher Lee) called out to us "Do not turn around."
Naturally we twisted and turned around craning our necks to see what made that racket. "I told you not to turn around. It's like talking to children sometimes. Now listen closely and don't interrupt."
"Mister strange and mystic cat with the evil glowing eyes?"
"Are you gonna be long cause I have to go to the bathroom?"
After we both took a potty break, got a glass of water and tossed the kitty a treat, the demonic kitty began to spin his yarn.
He said that he was not in fact a kitty but an all powerful magician. (I pointed out that he couldn't be all that powerful as he was currently trying to cough up a hairball. My hand still smarts). In whatever land he comes from it is eternal winter (I swear I'm not ripping off Narnia, well maybe just a little).
No one really likes the 24/7 winter except for the Snow Dragon. (Why would a reptile like winter? Because I said so that's why!) So mister magician cat was working hard to defeat the snow dragon. Only the dragon realized that some people may not like constant snow, ice, and bitter winds so he hid himself deep in a cave that was impregnable save one tiny hole.
For the dragon had adopted himself a kitten that he loved to cuddle and I don't know roast marshmallows for. The important thing is that I'd found a way in so I could kill the dragon but first I had to assume the part of the cat.
That part was easy, a fairly simple transfer spell with a few extra drops of wormwood solution for good measure. But this was the first time I'd ever been in a kittens body and the next thing I knew I was scampering on my alchemy table, spilling ingredients and just being a general pain in the ass.
By the time I got control of myself it was too late. I'd accidentally popped the head off my old body." "Um, Mister kitty wizard man. What does this have to do with us?"
"I'm getting to that. Now where was I?"
"You're head had popped off."
"Right, well as everyone knows as soon as a wizard loses his head there goes all his magic. So I need you two to travel with me to my snow land and help me reclaim my head and then go slay the dragon."
"But I thought you said you were going to."
"Yeah well, I've got theatre tickets so I'm gonna be busy that night. It will be a dangerous mission, first you must travel through the land of fire. Then through the land of rock. What no pictures of that one? Oh okay. Better be careful in the land of rock or one of you could lose your own heads:"Now start packing. I expect to set out tomorrow."
Then the little magical evil kitty disappeared telling us to gather up the necessary supplies for the trip.
Right now we're both packed and the kitty is refusing to go in the pet carrier we got for him. He keeps threatening to turn us into rabbits but as long as we stay away from his claws it's not too bad.
I guess this is good bye for now. I have no idea when we'll be back or if we'll even be back but in the mean time I hope you'll all have a happy first of April.
Wish me luck!